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Women, Marriage, Love Letters, and Child Marriage

Reason for the post:

In response to: Conversations for a Better World, Facebook: “When will society evolve past the laws and beliefs that prompt women to spend $2,ooo on hymen restoration surgery? A woman should not fear for her life or livelihood because she’s had sex before marriage. It’s simple.”

• Original Conversation Link: Conversations for a Better World, Facebook.

« Reason for comment: “BBC News-The virginity industry”.

Agree or Disagree with Hymen Reconstruction?

Although I disagree with a restructuring of the hymen in most cases, I can understand a need in certain situations.

An “Outcast” to Society:

Sadly, many children’s virginity is affected by factors that are not related to “casual sex” with another, and this is true for boys and girls. In these cases the children’s “status” has been affected by another, and a surgical procedure could be quite “beneficial” when considering the possibility of becoming an “outcast” to society.

Marriage Age-Gap, Arranged Marriages, Child Marriages, and Divorce:

Also, some believe “arranged” marriages are wrong as well, and “child marriages” often lead to a greater likelihood of divorce, and studies show a possible correlation between “age gap” and divorce rates for some countries. I wonder if arranged marriages lead to increased divorce rates and affairs. If so, affairs often lead to divorce, which can cause some women to be ostracized. In addition, if a “husband” discovers his new “wife” is not a virgin, he may demand a return on his bride-price, which could significantly affect the female’s future standing in society since her family may not have the money to repay the cost of the “bride-price”. At times, these women have to rely upon commercial sex to make a living, which increases STD’s(1).

• A link to some information on the age gap:

« Age Gap, in context (2).

A Means to Reduce the Possibility of a Horrific End:

If “reconstruction” of the hymen will save the “child”, adolescent, or woman from the above fates, then I have to agree with the practice until their society, on average, can agree that children, under 18 years, should not marry and spousal choice is more appropriate for marriage survival in most cases.

A Special Congrats to Women and Men who have Succeeded:

Personally, I am new to this area of research, but I have read quite a bit while researching Child Marriage, Domestic Violence, coerced sex, etc. During the research, I learned how education will foster a child’s writing and increases “love letter” activity in school, which can lead to choice of mate (2), which is supported by Article 16 of the UN Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (3). By the way, I read some of the featured success stories and was impressed, but I know we have a long way to go for all children, women, and, in some cases, men as well.

• Article 16 (b); “The same right freely to choose a spouse and to enter into marriage only with their free and full consent;”

A Comparison of Two Different Marriage Processes:

Although the original Facebook post was about reconstruction of the hymen, I would like to provide the following videos for your entertainment and evaluation. Why? I believe the videos provide a good analogy between the “developed” world’s education and “means” of communication versus a “developing” worlds means of communication. As we know, “writing letters is a lost art” to many elders and I must agree! In contrast, this form of communication is an excellent picture of how we may be “thinking”! Sometimes, we search and search for an answer and don’t seem to find it, but, in fact, it was there all along!

Love Letters – An Animated Proposal – v2.0:

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