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What to do before considering Divorce

At some point in every marriage life presents a couple with a few speed bumps on the road to happiness, and how they are handled determines if  a couple will remain married or part company. Before considering divorce as a viable option to end marital struggles, there needs to be considerable intelligent thought applied to the root of the problem in the hope of peaceful resolution between combatants. Divorce should only be considered as a solution to a troubled marriage when all other avenues of reconciliation have been exhausted, and it should not be regarded lightly. It is a serious legal process and should be treated as such.

Prior to entertaining the notion of a possible divorce action, a couple needs to attempt to open lines of communication so that each partner can present issues that are a concern in the marriage. This is not always a simple task, as usually by the time divorce is being considered there are a good amount of hurt feelings, argumentative incidents, and divorce threats that cloud the landscape and are difficult to set aside and forget. Regardless of past problems, without communication there is almost no hope of any contested points of disagreement being resolved. For couples who attempt this route, it is important to remember that this action is negotiated – you give a little, you get a little in the way of concessions.

For married couples who cannot resolve their problems solely between themselves, an interceding party such as a professional marriage counselor, clergy member, or respected family elder can often add insight that may lead to conflict resolution. One of the difficulties in attempting to save a marriage is that one of the partners may not desire to put in the effort required to save it. In these cases there is really no action a single partner can perform that will magically prevent divorce.

Before considering a divorce an individual needs to assess honestly what the quality of their life will be post divorce. The cost of legal fees, alimony and child support will most certainly change the lifestyle of a person considering divorce, as will the division of possessions. In the worst scenario, divorce proceedings can get very ugly and not only inflict emotional pain upon the litigants, but also transfer the distress to their children. Losing parental custody or receiving limited visitation with children is perhaps the most painful aspect of divorce, and because of this alone all other options should be tested prior to considering divorce.

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