According to the national Center for Health Statistics, the woman files two-thirds of divorce cases. A more amazing statistic is that when the couple are college-educated, divorces initiated by the wife is a whopping 90-percent!
What’s more interesting that for the past one-hundred years the primary filer has been the woman. The divorce rate began climbing at a drastic rate in the 70s. This statistic correlates with the fact that beginning in 1969, states began adopting “no fault” divorce laws and by 1985, all states had such a law in place.
The “no-fault” divorce allowed a couple to divorce due to irreconcilable differences. Prior to these laws, adultery or extreme cruelty had to be proven for a divorce to be granted.
This may be the reason why many people think that it’s no big deal for a woman to go through divorce. The truth is that divorce is extremely painful for all parties involved. Most women do not want a divorce. They took their vows seriously and believed they would be married for life. They want a partner, a friend, a lover and a mate that cherishes them.
Even though many women work today, they are still expected to be the primary housekeeper and main caregiver of their children. This adds an extreme amount of undue pressure on her. This means that women actually have two jobs. In many workplaces, women are still dealing with inequality, watching male counterparts get promotions, as they are passed over time and time again.
Due to beliefs that have been passed down from mother to daughter for generations, many women today still struggle with who they are and what their roles in society are meant to be. It’s an inner struggle that often leads a woman to put impossible demands on herself. She wants it all and somewhere inside of her feels that she has to do it all. Whilst at the same time she is screaming for help.
According to a study done at Pennsylvania State University the following is the top 10 reasons why women divorce:
3. Drinking/Drug Use
4. Grew Apart
5. Personality problems
6. Lack of communication
7. Physical or mental abuse
8. Loss of love
9. Not meeting family obligations
10. Employment problems
Surprisingly financial problems was 13th on the list, which goes to show you that fighting over money all the time (or lack of money) is not one of the primary causes of divorce.
Looking over the list is proof that a woman wants an equal partner. When it comes down to it, both men and women are looking for the same thing. We all want a person that loves us unconditionally. A partner that asks our opinion on important matters, trusts our decisions and respects us as a person. We all want to feel appreciated. We do not want to be put second or third. When we talk, we want to be heard.
At one time, there was love in the relationship. In order to get married most couples had to have felt at least most of the above. They felt on top of the world when they were with their partner. Then life happens. Being different people, each person handles the stresses and pressures of everyday life differently. Arguments begin and communication breaks down. Oftentimes the woman will try anything to make her marriage work. She starts reading books, trying new things, losing weight, buying new clothes and maybe even taking up new hobbies – all in hopes to revive the love that was lost. She only resorts to divorce as a last resort.
Cindy Holbrook is a certified Divorce Coach and has over 20 years of experience helping women to heal, love and find inner peace after their divorce. Her mission is the empower women to take responsiblity in their life and to create the life of their dreams. Pick up your free ecourse “12 Steps to Reclaim Your Life After Divorce” at CoachingForDivorcedWomen.com. You may also join her Facebook page http://Facebook.com/SupportForDivorcedWomenSocial tagging: fault divorce