A divorce can have various effects on children. In some cases the children are much happier than when the parents were together as they are not living with the continual bickering & fighting amongst the 2 parents, but then in some cases it can be a very trying situation for a child. However, it also depends on the age of the children. If children are or were very young during the time of the divorce it generally has very little affect on them as they aren’t old enough to really see, know or understand and by the time they are old enough, they will have questions for one or both parties and hopefully at that stage both parties will be able to talk politely of the other party.
In the case of older children, well, they tend to be able to see, know and understand what is going on or has happened and in some, not all cases a child may tend to side with one parent over the other. Sometimes as older children of divorced parents it can create a great deal more stress on the children, especially if their parents are not getting along. There are instances when the children start to feel that the problem between both parents has something to do with them and that is definitely not the case, but to be able to convince any child of that is a task all its own.
The best thing for children who have to deal with divorced parents or parents in the process of a divorce is for the parents to try to be civil with one another, especially in the presence of the child or children. Also, it is, as a rule of thumb, a good idea to sit down with your child or children and try as best you can to talk with them and just let them know that in no way is their divorce your fault. Explain to them that they are loved by both of you and that the 2 of you will always be there for them regardless of whether or not you are married or divorced. Children have divided loyalties regardless of any situation with their parents and if they feel that you are being open and honest with them and that the 2 of you are and will continue to work together in everyones best interest, then whether you are married or divorced the child or children will feel a bit better about the situation all the way around.children nbsp > divorced parents > older children