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The Effects Of Single Parenting On Children

Times have really changed. Many old customs and traditions which were taught and practiced for several years are becoming obsolete now. The modern culture has changed and outgrown values and beliefs that were thought to be the core.

Even though moralists and conservative people are expressing disgust over the currently evolving belief and culture systems, the truth is, however, what has been unacceptable in the old world is now becoming fast and rapidly rising trends.

Some of the effects of single parenting have ranged from social to financial issues.

For decades and even centuries, one of the most concerning issues to conservative people is the issue of single parenting. Ancient social philosophies have often linked single parenting to adventurism and liberation of people.

The Catholic Church has always been the dominating mentor and guide of traditions, norms and living. The church is so adamant to advocate the sanctity of the sacrament of marriage of matrimony.

That is why the procreation outside wedlock is strictly considered a ground for excommunication. It is one of the greatest sins, according to the Catholic Church, to engage in pre-marital sex.

From the church’s point of view, single parenthood can be considered as a punishment of some sorts, for those who disobey the teachings of the church. Obviously the fundamentalists think otherwise. So, is it?

Single parenting is already becoming a rapidly growing trend in the society. Studies show, that in the US alone, there are four single parents to every ten parents and there are two single parents for every 10 adults. Could you believe it?

The Child

Since the decision of single parenting is taken by the parent, one voice is often ignored and sometimes unheard of. It is that of the child’s.

It has been found that single parenting has adverse mental, emotional and psychological effect on the child. This has been validated by psychologists and advocates from time to time.

The direct effect of being raised by a single parent is especially visible in child’s thinking and mental mind set.

Although single parents must be commended for raising a child alone, he or she should not be blamed for any mental or psychological result of the situation to the child, as psychological assert.

Tests and observations have consistently concluded and found that single parenting makes children more aggressive and rebellious. Experts say the behavior could be the outcome of the angst and humiliation the child experiences while growing.

There are very obvious reasons to make the child feel abnormal, different and unaccepted. The traditional families have two parents, the mom and the dad, jointly raising kids with help and advice from each other. Whereas in single parenting, a single person decides what is best for the child and sometimes takes extreme measures to get it accomplished.

Neighborhood also plays an important role in the development of single parent raised children. Sometimes it treats them too cruelly, which can make things worse. Humiliation and awkward feeling of insecurity is dangerous if left untreated or undetected in the child. That child can take the burden for the rest of his or her life.

In some conditions, single parents and their children both may need professional help through counseling. Counselors can give reasonable advice to the child and the single parent to make sure every small issue and difficulty is ironed out.

Counseling from professionals can form or make up a support system that will make single parenting easier and more effective. Because single parenting is no ordinary parenting, the parent and the child must learn to accept the situation minus the negative feeling.

It’s a difficult situation for any child to be raised with one parent, but surprisingly, not an impossible one anymore. Society has accepted the facts and has stopped looking at single parenting as an abnormal occurrence. There is a positive trend which is especially useful in reducing, if not nullifying, the adverse effects on single parents and their children.

Get a free single parenting book that will help reveal and provide solutions to some of the problems faced by a single parent. Get this book now by going to: about single parenting. Also to read more articles and get further resources on single parenting visit good single parenting articles [http://www.singleparentcenter.net/singleparentingarticles.html].

After a Divorce Moving on to a new Life

“Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary by-pass. After such a monumental assault on the heart, it takes years to amend all the habits and attitudes that led up to it.”

Mary Kay Blakely

Mediation is over. The papers have been signed. The emotional roller coaster ride has finally stopped. You step on the platform and say, “Now what?” Divorce affects us financially, emotionally and even spiritually. It sometimes negatively affects old friendships and is undeniably life changing. For some, it feels as if a leg has been cut off. For those with kids, the process doesn’t end with the signing of the papers, it goes on and on and on as couples who may not have amicably split, are required to cooperate in high school graduations, marriages, and Baptisms along with splitting time with kids on Holidays and weekends. But as time goes by, we learn to walk again. So how do we function in this new normal?

Learn to let go. The first step is accepting that the marriage is over and that a failed marriage does not mean that the individual is a failure. Everyone makes mistakes. Learn from the experience by reflecting on what went wrong and figure out what steps can be taken to prevent such a thing in the future. Work on letting go of the anger as it is baggage that will affect friendships and relationships with the children. The opposite of Love is not “HATE.” The opposite of love is indifference. As long as one holds onto the anger and the pain, one is stuck in one place and can’t move forward. Journaling, talking to a good friend, and seeing a therapist are all ways to work through the anger and the pain.

Learn to be with others. Depression and loneliness are common among the newly divorced and these feelings should not be ignored. When overwhelmed with these feelings, some of us isolate and some immediately try to cover these feelings with a new relationship. These rebound relationships usually never materialize into anything of substance, especially if the marriage failed due to abuse or infidelity. Rebound relationships are profoundly unfair to the other individual if they are forced to hear story upon story about the evil, lying, cheating “ex.” Often, we harbor deep seated insecurities that we have a tendency to project onto the other person unfairly. It’s good to take a break from relationships and work on friendships with oneself and with others. New friends and support can be found anywhere, at work, at the grocery store, or at places of worship. Now is the time to rediscover the self. Consider taking a Park District class, learn to cook, join a bowling league, or volunteer for a charitable cause. All are positive and constructive ways to combat loneliness while learning something new. For single parents, groups such as Parents Without Partners, provide great ways to meet other single parents and participate in activities with other adults. Don’t go into these activities with the expectation you will meet the new Mr. or Mrs. Go into these for the adventure, for the knowledge and for fun.

Learn to be alone. The newly single, used to the noise of family life or the presence of the other person, have trouble being alone as it is equated with loneliness. The two are not related. Remember, you are the only person you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with. It’s important to stand on your own and enjoy your own company. Don’t spend every endless hour vegging in front of the television. Find activities best enjoyed alone. Some suggestions: reading, writing, antiquing, listening to music, learning a musical instrument, paint by number, browsing in a book store, gardening, catching up a full email inbox of forwards, building a doll house, fix up the house, and watch a movie that you’ve always wanted to watch but couldn’t. Guaranteed, you will come to enjoy the “me” time and it will become an inseparable part of who you are. Being part of a couple does not mean you’re half a person. You are a whole person who shouldn’t need to be completed and bringing a FULL self into a new relationship with a new friend, a new significant other, or a child will only enhance another life, especially your own.

Remember to be patient with yourself. There is no timetable for full recovery. Regard every new day as a new opportunity. In the words of Sister Hazel “If you want to be somebody else, change your mind.

 

http://www.helium.com/items/984947-after-a-divorce-moving-on-to-a-new-life

Can divorce ever be good for children?; SPLIT DECISION: HOW FAMILIES COPE WITH THE STRESS AND STRAIN WHEN TWO P ARENTS DECIDE TO SEPARATE.

Sandra Bell believes one of the best things she has ever done for her son Alexander was NOT to fight to save her marriage.

She admits she became a “basketcase” after her husband found another woman – and that her boy became a victim of their Joseph Rowntree Foundation The Joseph Rowntree Foundation[1] is a social policy research and development charity, seeking to better understand the causes of social difficulties such as poverty and housing and explore ways of overcoming them.  claims children from broken homes are twice as likely to suffer from basket case basket case Train wreck Vox populi A derogatory term for a Pt with a dread disease or a terminal illness; a person to be pitied . I couldn’t understand how he could do this to me. I wasn’t a very nice person at that time and that had an effect on my son.

“He became very tearful because he sensed my mood. When my husband finally left, he didn’t see him for 11 months, which wasn’t good.”

They did try to get together again, but no amount of counselling could get

rid of the hurt or the anger.

Sandra says: “I felt very vindictive – I didn’t want a quick divorce. I told him he could wait for five years and I wouldn’t help him. Then one morning I woke up and thought: `Who am I painless pain·less  

adj.

Free from complication or pain: a painless operation.

painless·ly adv.  as possible. You’ve got to put your children first and two parents fighting day in, day out, won’t do anyone any good.

“So get counselling by all means, but if the marriage can’t be made to work, try to make sure the divorce does.”

PLENTY of couples have made their divorce work better than their marriage. Just look at the Mark Phillips This article is about the former husband of Princess Anne, The Princess Royal. For other people named Mark Phillips, see Mark Phillips (disambiguation).

Captain Mark Anthony Peter Phillips  also avoided the animosity, but embroiled em·broil  

tr.v. em·broiled, em·broil·ing, em·broils

1. To involve in argument, contention, or hostile actions: “Avoid . . .  in the War of the David Gray David Gray can refer to:

  • David Gray (journalist) – Journalist
  • David Gray (mass murderer); see Aramoana massacre
  • David Gray (poet) – Poet (1838-1861)
  • David Gray (musician) – Musician
  • David Gray (British graphic artist) – Graphic artist , 35 was just two when his parents separated. Divorce was less common then and he hated being the only person he knew whose mum and dad didn’t live together.

    David said: “I wanted my mother to John Findlay This article is about the U.S. Representative from Pennsylvania. For the U.S. Representative from Maryland, see John Van Lear Findlay.

    John Findlay (March 31, 1766 – November 5, 1838) was a member of the U.S. House of Representatives from Pennsylvania. , Director of single parents organisation One Plus, thinks that if children are harmed by divorce, it is by the practical problems of poverty. As many as 75 per cent of divorcees end up on Income Support .

    He said: “If there is increased delinquency and lower educational achievement, I think that lack of money is as much to blame.

    “If we supported single parents more and stopped talking about them as if they were a disease, it would help their children.”

    RELATIONSHIP experts say that there should be more assistance available to help families stay together.

    Groups such the Family and Youth Concern, the independent research institute, believes that one of the best ways to make relationships strong is to strengthen the institution of marriage itself.

    Indeed, a third of children are born to parents who will never bother with any marriage ceremony at all.

    Valerie Riches, Family and Youth Concern’s director says: “It’s not surprising that succeeding governments, both Conservative and Labour, have done nothing to protect the family. Of course, the organisations which work with single families will say that it’s the practicable practicable adj. when something can be done or performed. . Financial incentives and inducements are not sufficient to cement a bad relationship.

    However, maybe there is a case to be made to prevent those with children from rushing into another marriage.

    The majority will remarry and, Stepfamily step·fam·i·ly  

    n. pl. step·fam·i·lies

    A family with one or more stepchildren.  Scotland says: “The step-parent can never replace the birth parent – and they shouldn’t try.

    “Divorce is a fact of life. We have to accept that. There’s no point in pretending that we can bring back the nuclear family of mum, dad and two children. We have to deal with how things are, not as we might like them to be.”

    [1]

Solution to The Alarming Conflict Epidemic : Better Than Ever After Divorce (BTEAD) and National Association of Divorce for Women and Children (NADWC) Are Collaborating

Atlanta, GA (PRWEB) May 01, 2012

Calling on all divorcing and divorced couples, divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, clergy and other professionals to help parents access the tools to make the best decisions regarding their own and their children’s well-being when coping with divorce issues.

“The “triple threat” of marital conflict, divorce, and out-of-wedlock births has led to a generation of U.S. children at great risk for poverty, health problems, alienation, and antisocial behavior” ( McManus: Ethics & Religion Sept. 12, 2004 Column #1,203)

Joanie Winberg, the CEO and Founder of NADWC asks the pertinent question, “Are you aware that your children see, hear and feel the anger and tension between you and your ex-spouse a lot more than you realize?" Winberg continues listing the shortcomings of children in divorce situations as being:

1.    They are twice as likely to drop out of school as those from intact homes

2.    They are three times as apt to have a baby out of wedlock

3.    They are five times more likely to be in poverty

4.    They are twelve times more likely to be incarcerated

( McManus:Ethics & Religion Sept. 12, 2004 Column #1,203)

Other findings include:

1.    Rates of child abused are eight to ten times higher in step/blended and sole families than in natural, two-parent families.

2.    The sons of single parents are more prone to commit suicide as adults than others, and daughters are more likely to have abortions and more children.

3.    When compared with people who grew up in a traditional family with both parents, children of single parents are hospitalized more often due to injuries and poisonings.

4.    The sons of single parents also commit more crimes

(*Helsinki Sanomat:”Children raised by single parents more prone to difficulties in adulthood.” April 20, 2001)

Our Commitment to you and your kids is why we are doing this Launch. We invite you to join our team and help us bring resolution to divorce conflict.

a)    Over 1,000,000 children go through divorce each year through no fault of their own

b)    ”…children will say the divorce was the worst thing that happened in their lives – and I have never seen a victimless divorce.”

c)    Parents may begin to act emotionally and irrationally about the children

d)    Parents will attempt to cut off the other spouse’s contact with the children

e)    Parents may use the children as “spies” or messengers

f)    Often the other parent is criticized in front of the child

(Sources: NPR Interview – 01/31/2002 – E. Mavis Hetherington, professor emeritus of psychology at U of Virginia | “Guy” Ferraro, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers – PR Newswire – June 5th, 2007 | St. Johns Law Review 2003)

Are you still fighting with your ex-spouse even after years of being divorced?

Are you part of at least one of these demographics?

32% explaining the divorce to the children and other relatives is their worst fear

52% Fear of living alone (even with children)

57% Getting on with a “new” normal life

67% Trouble trusting God again

75% Out of place in social situations

80% Loneliness is the greatest fear

(Sources: Divorce, Abuse and Stress – Poll Results for Women by April Lorier – 2007 eZine

Be part of this movement for resolution via empowerment).

We also need to remember that:

There were over 1million divorces in the U.S. in 2006

That would mean that in just the couples alone there were over 2 million people involved

There are at least 8 divorces every minute of every business day in the United States

75% of filings were by women

(Sources: National Vital Statistics Reports – NVSS – CDEC- US Dept of Health and Human Services – Data for 2006 – 8/28/2007 – volume 55, number 20)

“The People Skills Program- Resolving Conflict in Co-Parenting” is the answer to making things different!

Join the team that will help parents to identify and resolve conflicts; improve communication skills to help turn “killer statements” into calm conversations and discussions. Learn the necessary listening skills to defuse misunderstanding, judgment and conflict to feel heard and understood. Become aware of how you come across to others and learn how to deliver your message more effectively. And most important, have a strategy in place to move on with your life Better Than Ever.

Adio-Moses says, “When you join our team, you will learn to actively create an atmosphere of encouragement and cooperation to build children’s confidence and self-esteem. Save time, money and reduce conflict and the need for protracted legal intervention, enjoy a more fulfilling life by reducing miscommunication among parents so change and growth can occur with less stress and strife."

Get the Facts Today.

Become a member of “The People Skills Program- Resolving Conflict in Co-Parenting” — a simple program to help you and your children thrive

Connect with Your Recovery Coaches and Mentors.

Joanie Winberg is a Divorce Mentor, Certified Behavior Consultant and CEO of the National Association of Divorce for Women and Children. She has been helping 100’s of people navigate the pitfalls of divorce and co-parenting and is a phenomenal resource. She is also the founder of the Single Again! Now What? Radio Talk Show, heard worldwide on the Divorce Source Radio Network.

Dr. Dee Adio-Moses is a Divorce Mentor, an Ordained Minister, International Spiritual Teacher and Life Strategist. She is the author of several books, including “Live Again After Divorce” which you can download free at http://www.betterthaneverafterdivorce.com. Adio-Moses shares Joanie’s goal of facilitating healing and healthy decision-making following separation or divorce. "By bringing the world’s legal, therapeutic and educational communities together we can reach parents with messages designed to encourage peaceful divorce outcomes," says Adio-Moses.

Testimonial:

"When I met Joanie it was easy to be inspired by her positive attitude and generous nature. Joanie helped me see myself in a different place and gave me the tools to believe in myself and focus on my gifts and recognize my passions. Raising my children as a single parent has been my priority for many years and Joanie has helped me to be the best parent I can be for my children. Her enthusiasm is contagious!"~ Pauline Sullivan, client of Attorney Mark Greene

“Dr. Dee thank you, what helped bring me back to life was the time spent with you, when I felt hopeful and positive again, the impact of which I cannot describe… Maybe it was the prayer, your incredibly strong beliefs or the feeling of someone actually believing in me… Instead of lashing out, I am now "looking forward’. I’ve sorted out many things that were causing problems, and am now taking concrete steps. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t taken the BTEAD, and received the greatest gift, the one of hope, which you gave me, Dr. Dee…would I still be in the depths of depression? I am glad I took ACTION. Lots of love, and I pray that many other women benefit from these resources you brought to us. Thanks! " Xen, from Dubai

Email or call us.

Call us to schedule a complimentary 20 minute consultation,

call Joanie today @ (508) 947-2750

email: jw(at)joanwinberg(dot)com

Or Call Dr. Dee@ (770)875-9599

email: drdee(at)betterthanevercommunity(dot)com

Be part of our team.

Together everyone can achieve miracles.

You can make a difference.

For more information go to: http://www.freshstartafterdivorce.com/public/department157.cfm

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