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The Effects Of Single Parenting On Children

Times have really changed. Many old customs and traditions which were taught and practiced for several years are becoming obsolete now. The modern culture has changed and outgrown values and beliefs that were thought to be the core.

Even though moralists and conservative people are expressing disgust over the currently evolving belief and culture systems, the truth is, however, what has been unacceptable in the old world is now becoming fast and rapidly rising trends.

Some of the effects of single parenting have ranged from social to financial issues.

For decades and even centuries, one of the most concerning issues to conservative people is the issue of single parenting. Ancient social philosophies have often linked single parenting to adventurism and liberation of people.

The Catholic Church has always been the dominating mentor and guide of traditions, norms and living. The church is so adamant to advocate the sanctity of the sacrament of marriage of matrimony.

That is why the procreation outside wedlock is strictly considered a ground for excommunication. It is one of the greatest sins, according to the Catholic Church, to engage in pre-marital sex.

From the church’s point of view, single parenthood can be considered as a punishment of some sorts, for those who disobey the teachings of the church. Obviously the fundamentalists think otherwise. So, is it?

Single parenting is already becoming a rapidly growing trend in the society. Studies show, that in the US alone, there are four single parents to every ten parents and there are two single parents for every 10 adults. Could you believe it?

The Child

Since the decision of single parenting is taken by the parent, one voice is often ignored and sometimes unheard of. It is that of the child’s.

It has been found that single parenting has adverse mental, emotional and psychological effect on the child. This has been validated by psychologists and advocates from time to time.

The direct effect of being raised by a single parent is especially visible in child’s thinking and mental mind set.

Although single parents must be commended for raising a child alone, he or she should not be blamed for any mental or psychological result of the situation to the child, as psychological assert.

Tests and observations have consistently concluded and found that single parenting makes children more aggressive and rebellious. Experts say the behavior could be the outcome of the angst and humiliation the child experiences while growing.

There are very obvious reasons to make the child feel abnormal, different and unaccepted. The traditional families have two parents, the mom and the dad, jointly raising kids with help and advice from each other. Whereas in single parenting, a single person decides what is best for the child and sometimes takes extreme measures to get it accomplished.

Neighborhood also plays an important role in the development of single parent raised children. Sometimes it treats them too cruelly, which can make things worse. Humiliation and awkward feeling of insecurity is dangerous if left untreated or undetected in the child. That child can take the burden for the rest of his or her life.

In some conditions, single parents and their children both may need professional help through counseling. Counselors can give reasonable advice to the child and the single parent to make sure every small issue and difficulty is ironed out.

Counseling from professionals can form or make up a support system that will make single parenting easier and more effective. Because single parenting is no ordinary parenting, the parent and the child must learn to accept the situation minus the negative feeling.

It’s a difficult situation for any child to be raised with one parent, but surprisingly, not an impossible one anymore. Society has accepted the facts and has stopped looking at single parenting as an abnormal occurrence. There is a positive trend which is especially useful in reducing, if not nullifying, the adverse effects on single parents and their children.

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The Widowed Parent: Grief, Loss & Children

With divorce statistics reaching record numbers in the United States, many parents find the security of another adult, in the child rearing process, is suddenly missing. As a single parent, there are many challenges to be faced in raising children and trying to maintain financial and emotional stability. But, for another group of women, there is a slightly different dynamic – the mother who is suddenly widowed.

Undoubtedly, the loss of a spouse is considered what of the most life altering complications a woman can experience. With grief and overwhelming loss, we are suddenly thrust into a world of managing a home and children all alone. On top of loneliness, grief and stress, many widowed mothers feel a sense of anger over the sudden twist of fate their lives have taken and often suffer from a sort of emotional and physiological paralysis in which even the most simple of decisions become difficult. This is, essentially, a woman’s natural way of shutting down to the sudden stress that has taken hold.

When a spouse passes away, the widowed mother often finds she faces a great sense of worry over the welfare of her children. With the loss of a father, the children also suffer a great sense of emotional and physical stress and now must come to terms with the financial impact the loss will have on their homes.

One of the key areas in dealing with grief and loss, after the loss of a spouse, is the process by which you, personally, to face your grief. There is no timeframe that is appropriate for grieving. All too often, friends and family members will appear, even months and years after the death of your spouse, and try to justify the basis on which the grief should have ended. The key to your own emotional well being is to focus on when and if your grief is ready to subside. While the grief and sense of loss will never go away, we all have a method for overcoming it and for some individuals, our method to overcoming grief may not be in tune with their own thoughts and opinions.

Beyond your grief and the grief of your children, there are other issues that must be addressed as a widowed mother and that involves the disposal of your spouse’s personal possessions. While it is never recommended that all possessions be disposed of, it is a task that should occur at some point following the death. Again, this should be on your own timing as the widowed mother who must consider the emotions of your children as well.

As part of your grieving process, and in moving forward in financial and emotional stability, one of the key focuses, as a widowed mother, should be on the welfare of the children. Because children respond uniquely to the death of a parent, the widowed mother must make every effort to avoid overwhelming children with her own emotions, loss and grief. Provide your children with an outlet in which to express their emotions and, in turn, save them from the burden of yours by processing your emotions into a more structured setting with other loved ones, a support group and even a therapist. In doing so, you will be giving your children the greatest gift as a newly single parent; the gift of emotional peace at home.

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The Joys Of Being A Single Parent After Divorce

Raising kids is hard; raising kids alone is near- impossible. It’s absolutely not easy to raise kids when you’re a single parent. However, although it seems awful, (a lot of times it is!) it offers quite a number of astonishing benefits that can make everyday life easier for everyone. According to single parenting statistics, majority of the single parents today are mothers who are currently divorced or separated. Friends and acquaintances often wonder how single moms manage to take care of their kids, and more often than not elicit pity and awe for a status that a lot of people think of as just shy of sainthood.

There’s no doubt that single moms face significant problems, with financial hardship usually at the top of the list. And of course, there are the unending needs of the children, along with their questions about the absent parent that can be very hard to answer. Being married is definitely better when one has kids—but not all the time. You’re better off being a single mom if your only other option is to stay in a bad marriage. Here are some very good reasons why single mommyhood is worth celebrating: It is much, much easier to do things alone than to constantly fight about who does what.

In a family where two parents are present, it is automatically presumed that the workload necessary to raise the kids is divided in half. What really goes on is this: the arguing alone over who does what is far more exhausting than the task itself. A lot of the couple’s time and effort are spent in figuring out a system of dividing the chores, reminding your spouse to do his share of the bargain and resenting him if he fails to do so, then trying out a new system that most likely won’t work either. It’s a draining cycle that a lot of women have to endure.

When you’re the only parent in the house, your word is the law. There’s no one to challenge your authority, especially when establishing house rules. Sure, it’s no joke to make all the choices yourself, but decision making will always be a part of life, whether you’re married or not. However, being a single parent makes one realize the enormity of one’s responsibility, thus it is taken more seriously because there isn’t anyone else one can depend on. Some divorced couples wage an unending battle about custody of the kids. But when it’s already settled, it can actually be a blessing to the custodial parent (oftentimes the mom).

Sharing custody of the kids can give a single parent a much-needed time-out, be it a whole afternoon or a whole weekend. It’s not about wanting to get rid of the kids— it’s only about having some alone time, knowing that the kids are in good hands. If a happily married woman can benefit from a time-out, then a single mom definitely could, too. Even if divorce is no longer as shocking as it was 20 years ago, there are still some know-it-alls who can foresee only a very bleak future for children of divorced families. On the contrary, the kids are often better off than if they were forced to stay in a “complete” family, listening to Mom and Dad hurl angry words and furniture to each other.

Divorce is devastating, everyone knows that—but the experience also teaches kids very important lessons in life. Besides, there are a lot of juvenile delinquents who come from upright families, so having only one parent is never a reason for the kids to be futureless. As a single parent, you have all the freedom to give in to your little quirks which you couldn’t do while living with someone else. You can arrange your clothes in precision and have all the closet space — all to yourself.

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Dating Tips for Divorced and Widowed Moms

Dating is tough, but it’s tougher for women who are divorced and widowed. Along with the fears of being “out of practice,” there are often children’s feelings to consider.

How can a single mother enjoy a new romance without lying awake at night worrying about doing emotional damage to her children? Personal Strengths and Life Coach Sue Tosto of Garfield, New Jersey provides the answers.

1. How soon after divorce or the death of a husband is it appropriate to start dating?

It depends on the individual, but anyone going through a divorce should wait at least six months to one year before even considering dating someone new. Emotions are running high, and a person needs time to heal before putting herself back on the market. Some newly divorced or widowed people jump into relationships too early because they’re afraid of being alone. That’s almost always a mistake.

The first year after a divorce is the time to re-group and focus on making new friendships. A woman can reflect on all the things she wanted to do when she was married but didn’t. This is a rough time emotionally, but it helps to view it as a fresh start. It’s the perfect time to re-develop a sense of self and decide what one really wants in life. A woman can consider what she hopes for in a new relationship and let go of the past in the process.

Dating after the death of a husband or partner is also not recommended for at least one full year. Two years is even better. The grieving process should never be rushed, and the length of time it takes for the bereaved to move on varies according to the individual.

Other matters to consider before dating include waiting until estate matters have been handled, i.e., insurance matters, review of the will, and the assignment of an executor or executrix if necessary. The stress a new relationship can cause during this emotional time is not recommended.

As with divorce, this is a time to spend with friends. It also helps to join a support group of others who have lost a loved one.

2. How long should the mother wait before introducing a new boyfriend to her children?

She should know him at least six months to a year. Otherwise, if she decides after dating him for 4 months that the relationship is going nowhere, the children will inevitably feel another loss. No child should be put through that after going through divorce or death of a parent. Children need time to heal as well. If the new man doesn’t respect that, he’s probably not great boyfriend material.

The first three months of a relationship is the honeymoon period. Everything is fresh and exciting. After around six months, the couple tends to relax and good behavior wears off. A woman gets to see what she’s really dealing with. Before she introduces her new beau to her children, she needs to find out what his goals are, to see if his values and beliefs are consistent with hers, and really develop a friendship with him.

3. What is the best way to introduce a new boyfriend?

Once a woman decides to start dating, she should explain it to each of her children in an age-appropriate manner. After she and a new partner have spent six months to a year together, she can start telling the children things about him, particularly what she likes about him or little stories about places they’ve gone together. This way the children understand that Mom is still Mom, which is critical, but they’ll also see that she’s happier. They will slowly make the adjustment that they may soon share her with somebody else. Inevitably, the children will become curious about him. They may ask to meet him. I think it is wise to slowly incorporate the new partner into the family.

4. How should she handle it if the child resents the new relationship? Should she stop seeing the boyfriend?

Children will often resent a new relationship for the simple reason that they now have to share their mother with someone else. A woman can reassure her children that even though she is going out, she is coming back home to them. She should continue do the things with them she always did. Before she even starts dating, it might help to hire a babysitter and use the afternoon to go shopping, just to get the children accustomed to seeing her go out every once in a while.

Observing the children’s reactions while the new man is around should provide some clues to other causes of resentment. A woman should also gently ask her children why they don’t like her new partner. She should remember, though, that some children may not know exactly how to express why they dislike someone. It’s important to tread carefully. A new relationship is stressful for the whole family.

If the children are really having a hard time with it, family counseling can get to the root of the problem, especially if all other avenues have been exhausted. The most important thing a single parent can do is to treat her children the same way she did before she met the new partner.

5. Is it ever acceptable to allow the boyfriend to sleep over, or should the couple book a babysitter and get a room?

Get a room, unless the kids are at Dad’s for the weekend. Children don’t need to see some stranger coming out of Mom’s room in the morning (or their Dad’s, either). A new relationship is exciting and the partners are certainly entitled to time alone, but a single parent must handle it delicately and deliberately. Her (or his) behavior will instruct the children about man/woman relationships in ways they will carry around with them for the rest of their lives.

Terry MacDonald is the author of How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams (Even if You’re Not Rich, Thin, or Beatiful). Visit her website at www.marrysmart.com

Single Parenting and Its Effects on Children

Single parenting” is a phenomenon where a single parent takes care of a child or children without the physical assistance of the other parent. Single parenting can be either done by the male parent involved or the female one involved. Conservative societies consider single parenting as a folly or even something which is unfortunate.

Single parenting” is a phenomenon where a single parent takes care of a child or children without the physical assistance of the other parent. Single parenting can be either done by the male parent involved or the female one involved. Conservative societies consider single parenting as a folly or even something which is unfortunate.

The concept of family it etched in our minds so firmly that whenever there are happenings which may differ even to the remotest decimal, people find it unethical. There are many factors which lead to a person choosing the option of upbringing her biological or adoptive child single handedly. Children of single parents get affected financially, emotionally and even psychologically in some cases.

Singe parents are broadly classified according the mode of birth of the child or children involved. Types of single parenting include either of the following:

? A Divorced Person or a Widower Caring For His/Her Child or Children: – Marriage can be cancelled on various grounds. Some major reasons being divorce or death of a spouse wherein the partner who remains with the child considers single parenting as an option.

? Single People Adopting Children: – Marriage is common but there are some people who form a group of exception, who choose either not to marry or marry late. Some of these people adopt children going for single parenting. This process has legal formalities attached with it and these can differ as the location changes. It is commonly seen that fairly successful people go for these options as most courts check the background of a person who submits a claim for an adoption and more so if he or she happens to be a single person.

There are various reasons for single parenting and some are discusses as follows.

? Divorce or Marriage Annulment or Separation: – Any form of annulment of marriage can lead to a person opting to being a single parent. In this case the child is born before the annulment of marriage. This mode of single parenting is more of an option and not a choice.

? Artificial Insemination or Surrogate Motherhood: – Apart from the popular methods of adoption, many single well to do people go for artificial form of insemination or use surrogate mothers to have children. It is more popular in western developed countries. The mode of parenting is a choice here.

Considering all the above factors, one can conclude that single parenting is a tough job but with good support of relatives and friends, people have successfully managed to raise children single handedly.

A free search engine, Jrank.org has many categories dedicated to popular topics like single parenting (http://family.jrank.org/pages/1577/Single-Parent-Families-Effects-on-Children.html) as more and more people are opting for it. Jrank.org offers a wide range of parenting articles (http://family.jrank.org/) with tips, tricks and suggestions.

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What Effect Does a High Divorce Rate Have on Society?

The main ones include emancipation of women through equal opportunities for education and jobs, rise of individualism, relaxed divorce laws, changing attitude of the society toward divorced people and relaxed social mores and customs.

Though divorce at an individual level is a liberating factor for estranged couples, the problem arises when the divorce rate becomes too high and people begin to see it as a quick and easy way out of their marriages. An abnormally high divorce rate is not good for the society at all. A generation down the line, it will have serious social consequences, some of which are given below.

Missing Parent

A divorce splits the family right down the middle. One parent, usually the father, has to pack his or her bags and move out of the house. Children are then forced to live with one parent while the other parent gets only visitation rights. The family becomes lopsided. The single parent has to juggle both job as well as domestic duties, and is unable to give the kind of upbringing and attention that should be given to the children for their healthy growth.

Single-parent upbringing with the permanent absence of one parent creates serious psychological problems for boys as well as girls. Such children when they grow up are unable to have stable and secure relationships and often become confused about their gender, that is, if a boy has been brought up by the mother, he will develop some soft and feminine qualities.

Increased Delinquency

Children of divorce suffer from stress, anxiety and depression in their childhood. These feelings often persist well into adulthood. There is a very high probability of such children becoming involved in cases of petty crimes such as theft, muggings and financial misdemeanours.

Boys who come from divorced families have a much higher probability of ending up in jail compared to those who hail from intact and loving families. A major reason for this is that boys are often brought up by divorced mothers and thus are unable to benefit from the supervision and discipline imposed by the father.

Leads to a Generation of Under-achievers

Children of divorce, because of the anxiety and stress prevailing at their homes, are unable to concentrate on their studies because they suffer from a short attention span. They soon start lagging behind in studies and are not able to make the grade academically, even though they may be much more intelligent and sharp than others.

This lack of academic achievement haunts them for the rest of their lives and impacts their careers negatively. Children of divorce turn out to be chronic under-achievers and lead a frustrated life because they know they are capable of doing much better.

Bad for Adults

Divorce is bad for adults. Marriage is a very close relationship that provides solid emotional support and comfort. You get to be intimate with another individual and share all your secrets with your spouse. You are duty-bound to come to each other’s assistance when in need and provide a shoulder to lean on whenever your husband or wife is feeling low and depressed.

People who divorce deprive themselves of the support offered by the marital relationship. They suffer from the trauma of divorce and may slip into a chronic depression. This affects the success of their future relationships since they may develop a feeling deep down within them that their partners just cannot be trusted. People bitten by divorce may take to alcoholism and even attempt suicide. Worse, if they have children, the latter suffer too with them and may also develop many psychological problems.

Bad for Girls

Parental divorce is especially bad for girls who are much softer and more vulnerable in their mental makeup than boys. They start skipping school and look for an escape from their stress and anxiety in romantic relationships. They also develop low self-esteem. Many become teenage mothers and are saddled with the burden of rearing children at a young age.

Bad Treatment of Stepchildren

When parents get divorced, it is quite a traumatic experience for the children. When the former get remarried, the kids suffer even more. Research shows that stepchildren are mistreated and physically and emotionally abused much more than children in intact families. Such abuse leaves deep scars on the minds of the children and distorts their personalities permanently.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk