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Tips on how to ask a Girl out

Whether you are a guy or a girl; asking someone out is intimidating, nerve wracking, and often scary. That is usually because of a little thing we like to call fear of rejection. Fear of rejection is a fear that you create in your mind that; others will not accept you for who you are, what you stand for, what you believe in and how you act. Fear of rejection causes many people to miss out on things they desire or want to do. It is behind many problems in and out of relationships.

The first step in asking a girl out is to overcome that fear of rejection. Here is a great article from on how to handle fear of rejection. Getting over this takes time and some soul searching. In the world of dating you may have already met someone you want to ask out but your fear of rejection is holding you back. Try some positive affirmation to help you get over that fear long enough to pop the, can I take you out to coffee question. Things you should remind yourself are:

I am a great person. I am a catch any girl would be happy to have me. If she doesn’t say yes it isn’t always because of me. (if you are a girl asking a girl out) she may not have the same sexual preference.

Use some of these phrases to help you get over that irrational fear that is holding you back. Generally there are two different scenarios that you will have in asking a girl out; on the spot (you just met and she is leaving never to be heard of again) or you know her from work (things to consider before dating a co -worker), through a mutual friend, or even online and you have time to get to know her.

On the spot:

Be confident and brave. Remember if she says no you really haven’t lost anything, but if she says yes you may have gained a doorway into a new relationship. Take that chance and see what happens. Be charming, considerate of her needs, and chivalrous. Women love being treated like princesses even when they deny it. There is something in us that draws us like moths to the flame when it comes to being treated like a princess. Make an excuse to get her alone. Flattery is helpful. But make sure the flattery is real. I once told someone I liked their shirt it was a good color for their eyes. While she became a friend we still laugh at how stupid I sounded. Don’t him and haw around what you want to say. Come out and ask the question. It can be disheartening when a person wants to ask someone but they can’t get the words out. Now is not the time to show you are not confident. Again remember, it doesn’t matter if she says no or yes. What matters is that you put it out there and let crumbs fall where they may. Be casual in your approach, don’t come on to intense. This can be a major turn off and also make the girl feel threatened.

You have time:

Email her and get to know her. Let her get to know you. Don’t give up but don’t stalk either. If the girl is not showing interest moving down a dating road with you, it might be better to become friends. Perhaps you might lose interest as well and enjoy the friendship. Remember there is a danger in being friends too long so make sure you let your intentions be known early on. Otherwise you may never get out of that friend category. Be yourself and don’t pretend to be someone you think she will like. Women can generally see right through that and are not impressed. Also when you do finally ask her out make sure you are familiar with the tips in the first scenario as they can be beneficial as well.

The biggest thing is to not let your fear of rejection keep you from doing what you want to do. That fear can rob you of having something that is right in front of you. So many times you hear stories of people that knew each other for a long time but were afraid to ask. Sometimes fate brought them together and sometimes it doesn’t. You need to put yourself out there once in a while to truly enjoy the dating world and all the wonderful things it has to offer.

How to become the Worlds best Husband

Most women dream of having Prince Charming sweep them off their feet. To have a man who will treat them with love and respect, who will be gallant and charismatic, and make their dreams come true. Unfortunately most men don’t realize that it takes a lot more to be a great husband than just to say ‘I do’.

Compliments aren’t just for the first few dates or months that you are getting to know each other. A great husband is one who notices a new top or a new hairstyles and compliments his wife on it. A simple, ‘you look hot tonight’, or ‘I really like you in that dress’ can work wonders for a woman’s self esteem and in the back of her head she will be thinking what a lovely husband I have.

Flowers are also extremely important. If you want to become the world’s best husband remember the art of purchasing flowers. Every woman loves receiving flowers, whether it’s an enormous bouquet of two dozen roses (recommended at least once a year) or bunch of tulips or hand picked from the field, they will make a woman’s heart beat faster and make her day. Flowers should be purchased on all those important occasions like Birthdays, Valentines and Woman’s Day, but also at irregular intervals throughout the year just to show that you care.

If you want to become the world’s best husband you also have to learn to listen. Listening is a skill that not all men possess, and many simply don’t understand the meaning. Women don’t always want a solution to a problem, they just want you to lend an ear. Also, if she talks about something that she’s always wanted to do or buy, do it for her and surprise her a few days or weeks later. She will love you even more for it and in her eyes you will start looking like the best husband in the world.

Help her around the house. Nowadays it’s becoming the norm for house chores to be shared among spouses. However, some people still continue to think that it’s the women who should be doing all the cooking, cleaning and looking after the children. Surprise her by doing the dishes after dinner, or cook her a three course meal. Pay for her to get a massage and in the meantime clean up the entire house. Or send her shopping and give her a foot massage at the end of the day without having to be asked.

Being the world’s best husband isn’t difficult. All it takes is a bit thought, some flowers and effort to make your wife feel like the luckiest women in the world.

Seven Golden Rules For Separating Parents

The turmoil children go through when their parents are separating is unmeasurable. Not only are they facing the prospect of everything they’ve ever known being ripped apart, but they often question their own role in the break-up. Ever watched a movie or television program where a child thinks she must have done something wrong to cause her parents to separate? There’s a reason that storylines like these are often featured – it’s because it happens. Children do not deserve to feel responsible for their parents’ relationship breakdown, and parents owe their children the very best possible care throughout the bumpy road of a separation or divorce.

Here are 7 crucial rules to note and remember:

Rule 1: Do not, under any circumstances, argue and shout about your separation in front of your child. This is particularly important if you are fighting about the child. It’s so easy to let your frustration and anger lead you into yet another heated session of name-calling and blame-giving, but keep it out of earshot of your child. If she hears an angry debate that is about her then she might think the whole problem is with her. The last thing you want is your child to start thinking that she is the causes of her parents’ pain and anger. Take deep breaths and calm yourself down. Nothing you say at that moment is important enough to override the potential damage to your child if she hears you scream at one another about her.

Rule 2: Even without your child overhearing arguments between her parents that are about her, she may still blame herself for your separation and needs to be constantly reassured that it’s NOT her fault. Tell her that Mommy and Daddy have some trouble getting along. Tell her that NOTHING she has EVER done has caused this problem. Explain in kind and simple terms that no matter what happens both of you love her deeply and always will. Get the message through to her, and be sure to tell her again and again, as often as is needed. Do not assume that just because she hasn’t approached you to ask if it’s her fault that she isn’t blaming herself anyway. She is likely to be very confused about her role in your problems so do your absolute best to take away any guilt she may be feeling.

Rule 3: Do not use your child as a pawn, or a bargaining tool. For example, do not threaten to take your child away from your partner forever just to get what you want. Your child is there to be nurtured and raised in the best possible environment you can both provide. She is not a means to an end. If there is a genuine danger to your child from your partner then you should protect her at all costs with official intervention if necessary.

Rule 4: Do not use your child as a message carrier, a go-between, or try to poison her opinion of your partner. You may feel complete and utter hatred towards your partner but your child still loves her parent dearly. When it comes to bitter exchanges, “Tell your father this”, or, “Give your mother that”, is always a bad idea that will influence her opinions and actions. Encourage and plan positive meetings, pleasant phone calls, happy stay-overs, and fun days out, but messages of hatred delivered by an innocent child are not good for her.

Rule 5: Talk to your child. She is facing one of the most confusing and traumatic times of her young life, so talk her through it. Using her own terminology, explain what is happening and what is expected to happen next. Do not make wild promises to her that you will be forced to break, instead concentrate on spending as much time with her as you can and offering reassurance and explanation. You might think you are protecting your child, but shielding her from the reality of your situation is non-beneficial. She will be able to cope far better if she understands in her own terms what is going on.

Rule 6: Your child is not there for information gathering. No matter how tempting it may be to gain the edge in a messy divorce or separation, intrusive questions or spying techniques are to be avoided. The pressure on a child who is keeping secrets from a parent is immense, and similarly a mission to gain knowledge for a parent carries too much pressure. It’s simply not good for her to be deceitful in this way.

Rule 7: Remember to listen to your child. Many parents overlook the fact that their child wants to feel she has some control at a time where she has very little. Give her some control. If you are moving to a new area discuss the new living arrangements. Talk to her about her new school, get her to make simple decisions about simple things, like the decor in her new room, or deciding that a certain day of the week will be her day and what she wants to do. A few small positives will help her during a time when negatives are likely to be prominent.

Divorce, or separation is often unavoidable and the impact on any child or children involved will be huge. The potential for psychological and emotional damage to your child during this distressing time for her should be kept to a minimum. Seek professional help if you can, and use common sense always. Do not let your high-running emotions cloud your judgement or decision making. Your child is number one and she needs both parents to be thinking of her welfare before any other matter.


How Parents can Ease Childrens Psychological Burdens from Divorce

Children are more often than not affected by the divorce of their parents; however, the negative effects can be reduced by having divorcing parents follow these tips.

~ Talk to your child communication is the key when big changes are taking place. Changing a routine that has been ingrained in your child’s life from the moment they were born can often leave them feeling insecure about themselves, their futures, and the features of their family. Make sure you both sit down and talk to your child both individually and together and reassure them the decision to divorce was not based on anything they did.

Explaining to children the complicated nature of relationships can seem like an overwhelming, if not awkward, task, but honesty is always the best policy in situations like this. Immature and emotionally underdeveloped children often cling to the most ridiculous reasons in order to explain an unexplained divorce, often blaming themselves, so be sure you are straightforward and offer concrete reasons why your marriage has not worked, is not salvageable, and will benefit from divorce. Explain the consequences of divorce and try to elaborate on the beneficial and positive aspects, such as “Mommy is going to be so happy that she can finally do this” etcetera.

~ Make a new routine A huge change such as the divorce of parents can often lead to circumstances, which leave kids lost or confused, searching for a new routine in order to give them the sense of security that they have now lost. Right away establish a new routine. With younger children, the security of a routine will certainly take the focus away from negative aspects of divorce, and they may not even notice that anything has changed until they grow older. With older kids, it’s probably better if they are involved in the decision-making over new routines. When and where they will be with which parents should be discussed together as a family. Simply, because your marriage has dissolved, does not mean that you no longer have a role or responsibility in the family (this applies to all members) and thus the establishment of a new routine should certainly remain a family activity as well.

~ Do not fight in front of the kids. No matter how ugly or nasty it gets between the divorcing parties; it is essential  that adults take the responsibility of not arguing in front of their children. Children need to learn how to solve problems without bickering and all out emotional fighting, and the stress of being in a situation where parents are pitted against each other is enough to cause long-lasting psychological damage. Be cautious of how you refer to each other when discussing your divorcing partner. It is essential that you reassure children that you are the adults and have things under control.

Fighting with your soon to be former spouse only creates tension between “family” members and instills in children the idea that verbal abuse or unhealthy expressions of anger are “okay” which they simply are not. You do not want to end up in a situation where your children are constantly putting you and your former spouse together in battle over the most trivial of all circumstances. Children are smart, and they will play you against each other, so nip it in the bud and remind them that you are teammates as parents, if not husband and wife, so you will be making decisions together regardless of marital status.

~ Get them help – Even in the best situations, there are some more sensitive children who may benefit from talking to a professional about the events surrounding and leading to your divorce. Do not hesitate to make an appointment with a family counselor who will most likely talk to you and your child both together and alone.

Divorce is never easy, but its effects certainly do not have to be negative if parents take the proper measures to ensure that their children are aware of the reasons behind their separation and that their children have realistic expectations of their futures and the future of their families.

Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce

Thousands of people have gone through divorce, so you are not the only one. Divorce is not the end of your life, it is just the end of a marriage. You have other things that you need to focus on, rather than you marriage. If you have children for example, this is a great time to start focusing on them more.

Many people will find that it is hard to let go of their feelings during a divorce. They become angry and feel like they will lose control at any moment. Don’t forget that there are thousands of people who feel this way. What you need to do is to seek therapy to help you control your temper and feelings of rage. This way you’ll learn how to get along with your ex partner for the sake of the children.

After divorce, you may find that your self-esteem is completely gone. The most important step for rebuilding your esteem after divorce is to let go. You must place the past in the past and start to think about how you can improve the way you feel about yourself.

Never beat yourself down. It is not your fault, it’s not anyone’s fault, perhaps you just had a bad relationship. Don’t think about the past – think about the future. Learn to use positive words to describe your personality (like smart, attractive, aspirational, etc). You image of yourself will effect your life very much. Sometimes it’s better to be on your own and follow your own path, rather than following someone else. Your self-esteem will rise because you are an independent person.

One the most important lessons that you will learn from divorce is you are much stronger than you think. Going though all that you have, you will become a stronger individual. Now, you will be able to handle situations that you usually wouldn’t think you could handle. Divorce definitely makes you stronger.

Find more tips here: Relationship Troubles

How Do I Stop My Divorce?

Do you see yourself heading for a divorce? If the answer is yes then maybe I can help you. If you are asking yourself “How Do I Stop My Divorce” then you should know that there are several real options for you and at your disposal. But first things first…why are you heading for a divorce to begin with?

The number one reason for divorce is INFIDELITY…if one of you has been caught cheating then it may not be an easy thing to stop your divorce. For one thing, being cheated on is the ultimate betrayal and the toughest problem to overcome for most people. So…you have to ask yourselves…do we still love each other. Is there a chance that we could get through this? If the answer to both of these questions is yes then you both have a chance.

But if it is not possible then you should both move on with your lives, because the wrong thing to do is to stay together when one or the both of you are unable to let go of the incident, or more importantly…put it behind you permanently. If the both of you are unable to put this in your past it will fester and surely be broached in future disagreements and you can bet; not in a nice way.

If you and your spouse have made the decision to save your marriage then you’ve taken the first steps. This means that you still love each other and are willing to do most anything to keep your marriage together and that is a good thing. Again…you will have to forgive and forget if it is to have a chance. The next thing that needs to happen is to get to the root of the problem. Why did one or both of you cheat?

There are many different reasons couples cheat on each other and it’s a shame to say that really none are justified when you consider that everything can be worked out if you will just sit down and be open and honest with each other and find a solution. It could be a lack of passion in the bedroom, if so, take steps to spice up your love life. If the both of you work and are too busy or tired…then set aside time for yourselves…make a date night or something and stick to it no matter what.

If it’s money problems then the only thing that’s going to help is to sit down with each other and make a plan and stick to it. Money is the second leading cause of divorce and in these times couples need each other more than ever. There are many ways to stop divorce.

Common Causes of Divorce – Keys to Save Your Marriage – Part 1

If you are married or about to be married – Listen up! This information can save you years of agony; years that can be years filled with joy and happiness, IF you remedy the common causes of divorce.

It does not matter if you are engaged, just married or been married for years. In all likelihood your marriage is in trouble or it could be improved upon, or you wouldn’t be reading this.

Divorce is like quicksand. It is slippery and once in it, it increases its grip making it very difficult to escape. Like quicksand, divorce is a trap, unseen until you are caught in it.

Marriages come with an automatic built-in feature known as common causes of divorce. You may not even know they exist. Most likely, no one has ever given you a book on the subjects of marriage and/or relationships. But you do have TV, family and friends, and ALL of them have given you the wrong instructions and examples of what a good marriage is and why.

The television has filled your head full of beautiful pictures of beautiful women, handsome men, all starry-eyed with romantic delusions.

Aren’t marriages suppose to be fairy tale, “…live happily ever after”?

The reality is, after the romantic glitz and glitter of the Honeymoon, life gets real.

Now it is time for jobs to pay the bills and vacuuming the floors and fixing the meals and doing the laundry. And sooner or later – kids! Kids with snotty noses, dirty bottoms and constant crying for attention. What happened to the honeymoon?

This is where life gets real. This where you get sloppy and stop putting your best foot forward, taking each other for granted. This is where all the expectations you have for each other get declared. This is where all the virtues you sold or were sold are being delivered less than 50% of the time.

Do you feel cheated yet?

How can you tell?

Take this little test for some common causes of divorce:

If you are a man, can you list the expectations your wife has for you?

Which are usually as follows:

(1) Patience and understanding for every circumstance

(2) Ability to listen with interest to everything she has to say as if it matters to you

(3) Compliment and encourage her about everything she has done, or ever will do or is doing

(4) Give her complete and total emotional support for whatever it is she values in life

If you are a woman, can you list the expectations your husband has for you?

Which are usually:

(1) Staying just as sexy and beautiful, exciting and interesting as when you were dating

(2) Give him free time from all domestic responsibilities so he can do what he loves to do

(3) Compliment and encourage him for everything he does, has done or ever will do

(4) Give him complete and total support for whatever he values in life

Are these expectations being fulfilled by either party? Are you smarting because your expectations are not being fulfilled? Are you guilty of not fulfilling their expectations?

Here is the deal. There are no perfect marriages. There are no perfect people. The only thing you can count on in a marriage, or in life for that matter, is change. So get use to it.

In the best of marriages, problems do not leave, people do.

You were headed for divorce even before you got married. Why? Because you do not know the keys to save your marriage. No one ever taught you, because they did not know either.

Pay attention to this key: one the very best thing you can do for your marriage and/or to stop a divorce is to give up your expectations for your partner.

Happiness does not come from getting what you want, but from wanting what you have.

Whether you are headed for divorce or are already divorced, discover more causes of divorce []. You can download the [] here to help you save your marriage now.

Eulogy Mother Mummy Sacrifice Roles of a Mother Challenges of Marriage Family

A mother is not just one who gives birth to a child; rather a mother is one who also cares for a child, protects, teaches, nurtures and help channel the child in the path destined by the maker. My mother played this role and many more. She was a mother, a confidant, sister and a great friend.

She gave birth to me while she was still in school, married to a man, my father then an army officer who was later detained after a civil war for some years. When wives of the detainees left their husbands based on uncertainties, my mother stood by her husband, visiting him in prison, hopeful he would be released. Indeed he was released but dismissed. A lady who came from a wealthy home but married a man who did not have much to offer her had to face the challenges of lack in marriage. She had to fend for her growing family which she did sacrificially. She was a woman who put her family first and laboured so much to ensure her children had the basics and more.

We may not have had opportunities to go on family vacations or had fun like visiting amusement parks and watching movies in cinemas but we never went hungry. Mummy ensured there were food, clothing and education. I went through the university with the assurance that she would go to any length even if it meant selling all she had. She sacrificed so much that I dreamt of the days I would spoil her silly. I imagined sponsoring her trips to some countries, buying her a car, clothes, name it. Alas, death has truncated my dream.

Time I hear heals but one certainly would not forget. Since the day she left, I would want to reach out to her; alas she is unavailable; she is gone. It is not for a day or a month or even a year. She is gone forever, leaving strong memories behind.

I remember when I was in secondary school, a Saturday before the Monday I was to take my final year mathematics exam, I was sick. I did not want to take any anti-malarial because I feared it might knock me out and then I would not take my exam. So I did not want to tell anyone but my mother as observant as she was found out. She prayed for me. Believe it or not, I had been praying but her prayer did the trick. I was healed that night. I went into the examination hall hale and hearty.

As people commiserated with us, we were stunned at the number of lives she had touched. She was qualified with numerous adjectives that it dawned on me that my mother gave her all not just to her family but also to those she met in her journey of life.

Agility was her second name! She was such great organizer that her friends and relatives would solicit her help in planning and managing events. She was so outstanding in whatever she did I fear her shoes would never be my size no matter how hard I try. However, I believe she has left a legacy in me and my siblings.

She taught me a lot of things about life which really prepared me to face the world when I left home. Even now, though she is gone, I still remember and would practice all the things she has taught and I believe she would be proud of me as she looks on me from where she is.

Mum, indeed you live on.

3 Reasons Why Couples Break Up- Can You Prevent it From Happening?

Men and women are different in so many ways but it is undeniable that they need each other. Their physical and emotional desires make it possible for a romantic relationship to blossom. Unfortunately, not all couples have succeeded in keeping the relationship for good. Relationships are really complicated and there are a number of reasons why couples break up.

Here are the top 3 undeniable reasons why couples break up:

<b>Incompatibility.</b>  This is one of the reasons why couples break up. Couples realize after being together for sometime that they have different outlook, wants and desires in life. Instead of enjoying their differences and learn from each other’s uniqueness,  they cannot find a common ground to achieve each other’s needs and this incompatibility leads to separation. They failed to realize that it is not the degree of their differences that counts but how couples manage their differences or incompatibilities. There are issues of irreconcilable differences and they thought that the only way out is to take different paths and that is why couples break up eventually.

<b>Falling out of love.</b> This is another reason why couples break up. Couples have different reasons for falling out of love.  Some admits that they’ve lost interest and desire with the relationship because it is so predictable and boring. Parenthood, jobs and careers brings challenges into the relationship and the excitement of the relationship is replaced by responsibilities and routine activities. It is a slow death and they allowed romance and love to disappear in the middle of all those responsibilities and routines and just woke up one day that they do not love their spouse anymore. The sameness, the lack of excitement and the lack of time for each other are some of the reasons for falling out of love and why couples break up.

<b>Infidelity or getting attracted to someone else.</b> This is the most painful reason why couples break up. Finding someone else and falling in love to the point that your spouse wants to leave you. When couples are faced with infidelity problems, most of them failed to survive and restore their marital relationship and end up in separation and divorce. They cannot imagine living with someone who’s been unfaithful and a cheater that is why couples break up once infidelity becomes an issue. They overlooked the fact that infidelity does not always lead to separation and there are couples who tried to reconcile and succeeded. Of course there are lingering pains and resentment brought by the unfaithfulness and violation of your trust but there are couples who were able to overcome all these things and revived their marriage.

If your relationship or marriage falls into these 3 categories and you are in the verge of separation, can you prevent it from happening? The answer is a resounding Yes! Discover proven methods to getting your marriage back on track and put an end to your stress and worries of not knowing what to do to save your marriage visit Save My Marriage Today

To know more about love and relationships visit All About Relationships

How to Minimize the Impact of your Divorce on Kids

As a parent, the interest of your kids is always the uppermost concern in your mind. And when you divorce, you may no longer be a spouse, but you still remain a parent. It is your responsibility to ensure that the atmosphere and situations at home leading up to the divorce and during the divorce do not scar your children forever. Remember, if the issues are insensitively handled, children can carry the emotional baggage all their lives and it can affect their lives in several ways including an inability to form committed relationships. Surely that is the last thing you want.

First face the facts. Whatever people say and whatever obscure researches you look up online to the contrary, the simple undisputed fact is that children are affected by a divorce.  Sorry, that is the truth, whether you like it or not. So perhaps the first thing to consider is whether you can work things out with your spouse. I know no two circumstances are alike and in some cases, this may just not be an option. Once you are sure you are going ahead with the proceedings, sit down with your spouse and make a few ground rules on how to act (or not act) around the children.

Always be aware of what you say or do in front of the children. If they are old enough, you can have a talk with them as to why you feel it is best for you and his dad (or mom) to go your separate ways. Such talks have the best effect if you and spouse can do it together. (You probably can’t stand to be with your husband in the same room, but do it for the sake of your kids, you owe it to them). The important point to get across to children is that the divorce is about both of you and not about them. You would be surprised to hear how many kids blame themselves for their parents’ break up. Convey by gestures and words that you still love them and nothing will ever change that.

Another important tip.  As a divorcee, you are bitter and may have unresolved issue with your spouse, but your child is not the right person to discuss them with. Never undermine your spouse’s role as a parent, whatever your issues with him/her. Remember you made the babies together and your spouse loves the children as much as you do.

It may be a good idea to seek divorce help from online groups or forums. People who are going through processes similar to yours are willing to share experiences on how they are coping and that may help you learn a thing or two.

Divorce is not easy on you, agreed. But you have to ensure you don’t make it hard on your kids.

Ara Hovsepian, happily married himself, understands how divorce is often the only solution for some people and urges divorcing couples to devote time and effort to make the process as easy as possible for their kids. To know more about how to make divorce easier on your kids and to get some free divorce help, visit