Helping those in need with your divorce issues today

Archives for nuclear family

Natural Home Remedies for Hives

Hives are an itchy, scaly skin rash. They vary greatly in size, shape, and area of break out. They can be round with rings, or welt like in nature. One person suffering from hives might have a completely different looking rash from another person. The medical name for hives is urticaria and breakouts occur more commonly in women than men.

There is no known reason for someone to come down with hives. What is technically happening is your histamine levels are out of whack, for whatever reason, and that causes fluid to leak from blood vessels, which in turn causes the skin to swell. The irritation can disappear within a few hours only to reappear a few hours after that. Or you can have a flare up that will last twenty-four hours.

People who suffer from hive breakouts, understandably, want to know what is causing their breakouts. Often this is not an easy thing to discover. Changing soap, detergent, food intake, and so forth rarely do any good in stopping the breakouts and might not work as for remedies for hives.

http://www.infobarrel.com/Natural_Home_Remedies_for_Hives

How to Help Your Spouse Cope with Unemployment

During the twelve years my husband and I have been together, the two of us have been at both end of the unemployment stick. It can certainly add strain to a relationship, but there are ways in which one may help the other go through this difficult period. These are just some of the actions or factors I can recommend to support your partner.

Being unemployed is generally a difficult situation to be in. Feelings of anxiety and frustration can often overwhelm a person. In industrialized nations, there is a strong connection between identity and work, leading people to believe their job defines them. This can chip away at an unemployed person’s self esteem. So when someone we are married to, or committed to, might be undergoing any of these negative feelings or thoughts, there are certain factors and actions to keep in mind.


Do not blow him or her off.
Remember, even if your day consisted of board meetings and planning strategies with your team, when you get home, your spouse might have been home all day, alone, reading through job sites or posting virtual CVs. Let the person talk for a while, then you can say how tired you feel and that you can resume the conversation after a break. But never let the person feel like you don’t care.

Be supportive with job-hunting. Ask your spouse about the status of his/her applications, re-cap on the companies he/she has applied to. Try to contribute with suggestions of possible job sources like a company you know about in the same field, or a job-searching or job-posting website. Help your partner practice for interviews, reviewing possible questions and company’s profiles.

Encourage your spouse use their free time. Encourage your partner to take up exercise or an activity they might enjoy. Physical activity is not only beneficial to the body, it also helps release stress. Being active can also create feelings of self-satisfaction, helping your partner to boost his or her self-esteem.

Steer away from work during social gatherings. When your social circle is populated by the people you work with, ‘the job’ or ‘the office’ tends to be the topic people automatically navigate to. Try to introduce topics your spouse can contribute to. Your friends will most likely, also enjoy themselves more and unwind talking about the upcoming baseball season or the latest blockbusters at your gathering, rather than the problems with the last marketing campaign.

Be understanding and compassionate. Above all, show your loved one that you care, that you understand he or she is going thru a rough time, and you are there for him or her. Don’t be annoyed if you find him sulking on the sofa when you get home. Be optimistic, and show confidence in the talented, capable, precious person that is your life partner. He or she will feel your support and know that things will get better.

Born and raised in Costa Rica, lived and worked in Canada, Switzerland, Tanzania, and The Netherlands, currently working for Smile Bhutan  View profile

Can I stop husband from divorcing me? ‘My new boyfriend won’t spend the night with me’.

Q IS it true that my husband can divorce me? Like many couples, we have had our PMT See photomultiplier tube.  as well as depression. But I managed to get both under control and I thought things were getting better between us.

When I was unwell, I had very poor self-esteem, which led to me almost having an affair. For a while I went to AA and I met a man who, unlike my husband, really understood my problems. I didn’t sleep with him although I was tempted.

But now my husband has come to me, just when I really believed there was light at the end of a very bleak and black tunnel, and has confessed he doesn’t love me any more.

He is seeing someone else and thinks it would be better if we got divorced. He says she is pregnant. I know the person and I think she has deliberately set out to entrap my husband.

But he’s such a fool that he can’t see it. I still love him and I don’t want to a divorce, even although I have grounds and he hasn’t.

So can I prevent it while he comes to his senses? I was hoping now that I am well again that we could have a baby.

A PERHAPS you don’t think ZA if s relevant, but if you were going to AA it would suggest depression wasn’t your only problem.

Of course, you deserve tether tether

to tie an animal up by the head or neck so that it can graze but not move away. See also barton tether. .

Now I think it’s time for a new start for the pair of you – but not together.

There is only one ground for divorce, which is that the relationship has paranoid par·a·noid

adj.

Relating to, characteristic of, or affected with paranoia.

n.

One affected with paranoia.  I thought he was really going back to an other woman or even a wife.

But now he’s taken me home to meet his parents so it can’t be that. I’ve asked him but he just jokes that he likes his own bed. What do I do?

A YOU enjoy this man’s company and he enjoys yours.

You have a good sex life, as well as a decent social one.

It could be that he thinks maybe it’s been too quick. Perhaps he feels you are also getting a bit intense.

He’s slowing the relationship down a little. Now you know he’s not hiding away a secret wife, relax and let things take their course.

http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Can I stop husband from divorcing me? ‘My new boyfriend won’t spend…-a0155807184

Stepfather’s Need Help? Are You Kidding?

By Gerardo O. Campbell

Why are men notoriously known for not seeking help? We have a reputation for not reading instructions, not going to the doctor’s for health issues, not asking for directions, not accepting help when it’s offered or just admitting when we’re struggling with a problem. What comes to mind is the once comical scenario where a couple is driving to a new destination, and they’re totally lost. The man proceeds to “figure it out” on his own, ignoring his wife’s constructive suggestions at his peril and driving an excessive amount of extra miles before even considering stopping to ask for help. In fact, a formal study was recently conducted confirming men drive an extra 276 miles a year for their refusal to get help when they’re lost. Thank goodness for the GPS!

This almost stubborn reluctance to ask for help doesn’t change when we become a stepfather. As a stepfather, you will be challenged by a situation or won’t know how to handle a particular circumstance. Rather than seek outside help to resolve it, you’ll choose to either grin and bear it, attempt to solve on your own or worse yet, just go ahead and file for divorce. Divorce would seem to be the preferred solution for many stepfathers considering the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families. Since blended families are unique and not like the traditional nuclear family, why doesn’t stepfather’s like asking for help?

PrideSome of us live deluded we have everything in our life under control because of who we are our power, authority, and competence. You don’t need anyone or anything to help you solve anything. No therapist, minister, counsellor or friend is going to tell you how to live your life. You rationalize why you no longer need help, support or understanding from others in your life. In denial about having problems; in having too much pride you are skilled in turning helpful suggestions around, attacking the person who made the suggestion. Above being helped, you systematically cut off offers of help from family, friends or professionals.

FearFear stands for False Expectations Appearing Real. This type of fear is an unhealthy, debilitating fear that holds you back from doing the things you actually should be doing if you’re thinking rationally. For example, you may be hesitant to seek outside help because of how you think you’ll be perceived. After all, men are supposed to have all the answers, and if you seek outside help your woman and her children will think you’re weak and less than a man. You don’t want any of them to dislike or hate you and this often prompts you to make every effort to please, rather than doing what you know in your gut is the right thing to do.

Know-it-All SyndromeClosely linked to pride the name says it all. You could be the type of stepfather that thinks you always know what is best for yourself and everyone around you. However, there comes a time in everyone’s life where you have to admit you don’t know what’s best, and you need some help to steer you in the right direction. The relationship with your stepchildren is particularly delicate and should be handled with care. The slightest misstep could set you back a lot with them. Keep in mind; it only takes one small misstep to break someone’s trust, but will take significant time to gain it back.

IgnoranceOne of the most popular reasons you don’t ask for help may be the fact you have no idea it’s available to you. This happens frequently, because most stepfathers tend to be in the generation that didn’t rely much on the Internet and therefore, have no idea what it has to offer. You may also have joined your blended family with unrealistic expectations thinking it will be like a nuclear family and clueless when things aren’t working the way you expected. It’s understandable that this, combined with any of the above issues, are preventing you from looking into getting the advice and help you need.

ConclusionStepfather’s need help? Absolutely. Your step family is not like the traditional nuclear family. To enter your blended family with expectations based on your nuclear family experiences is setting yourself up and your family for pain and disappointment. Unrealistic expectations combined with the weakness above are a recipe for disaster. Is it any surprise why the divorce rate for blended families is so high? Dirty Harry said it best, “A man has got to know his limitations.” Do you know yours? Most importantly, are you making an effort to address them? Take advantage of the many resources available to you from counsellors, therapists, online resources, family members and friends.

Author’s Bio: 

For men who didn’t have to be – being a stepfather is one of the most challenging jobs around and it’s a role society hasn’t clearly defined yet. There is no standard operating procedures for stepfathers and having the best intentions and crossed fingers isn’t enough to be a successful. Studies show nearly 65% of all second marriages involve children but tragically nearly 70% of these marriages will end in divorce often as a result of the added pressures stepfamilies face. Support for Stepfathers, http://www.supportforstepdads.com , is like “marriage insurance” – where you’ll receive informative content, tools, unique insights and support that will help you be aware of and overcome the challenges unique to the blended family. Through this website I want to share with you my experience, my lessons learned and the lessons learned from others. It is possible to be a successful stepfather and have a thriving blended family. Don’t allow your family to become another statistic.

http://www.selfgrowth.com/print/3753746

A Journey Through Infant Development: The Tenth Month

Curiosity is something that is developed very early in life and becomes very evident once a child starts to move. Although it can be very annoying to pull babies out of cupboards, dishwashers, refrigerators and toilets, curiosity is an extremely important foundation to a child’s neurotypical development. Curiosity allows discoveries – it offers children those “ah ha” moments in life. If a child doesn’t explore his/her environment ¬– in safe circumstances only of course – the opportunity to make discoveries is lost!

I can’t seem to get anything done while you are awake! Anytime I try to work in the kitchen, you are immediately into what I’m doing. I open the refrigerator, and there you are pulling something out of the door. I try to prepare food, and you empty every cupboard. I empty the dishwasher, and YIKES – you’re going for a sharp knife!

You’re not only into my stuff all the time, but your sisters’ as well. If they are doing a puzzle, you sit on it. If they are playing in their room, it isn’t long before I hear, “Mom!!!!” We all love you, but your sisters have appropriately changed your name from little brother to little bother.

Balls are so intriguing! If there is a ball or anything that resembles a ball, you crawl quickly to it. Once you pass it to me, you’ll look right at me and throw your arms in the air and scream. It’s so fun! If there isn’t anybody available to play, you’ll accept that and play catch with yourself. You’ll throw it; go and get it; and then throw it again. It keeps you busy for a long time! That lasted for about a week, and now you’re onto new things. You get bored easily.

Brushing teeth is a very interesting event as well. Dad will hold you while he brushes his teeth, and gives you a toothbrush as well. You’ll look at him so intently while he brushes, and then put your toothbrush in your mouth. You think you are so cool brushing your teeth like dad. The look of accomplishment on your face is priceless.

You are really getting into playing games, and find it so funny when the game changes. I handed you the top to a jar, and you handed it right back. I handed it to you, and you handed it right back (much like how we play ball). I then put it on your knee. You thought that was so funny, you grabbed it and handed it back. I put it on my knee, and the game continued. When I put it on my head, you got up, grabbed it, and tried to put it on your head – all while cracking up.

I can no longer leave the room without you getting upset. It seems as though separation anxiety has kicked in. It’s very apparent that your awareness of your surroundings has gotten much better!

You are beginning to cruise around now. Your crawling has gotten faster, and you can pull yourself up to stand with ease. It allows you to feed your curiosity about what’s going on in the rest of the world, and you love it! Now that you can do that much, let’s just get to walking.

If your child is always fixated on one thing when entering an environment, s/he is being robbed of making daily discoveries: How does my mom greet people? Do I greet grandma the same way I greet a cashier? How am I supposed to act in a gym as opposed to church? These sorts of skills are often taught if a child lacks it; but when not discovered in a natural environment, these skills can look very awkward or be inappropriate in different settings! Even in a gym, the expectation of how we’d behave changes according to what is happening in the gym. We are constantly appraising our surroundings to determine the appropriate way to act. Through the use of RDI strategies, these discoveries can be made for a child who wouldn’t otherwise make them on his/her own. Give us a call if you want to know how!

Autism specialist Michelle VanderHeide, of the Horizons Developmental Remediation Center, provides practical information and advice for families living with autism and other developmental disabilities. If you are ready to reduce your stress level, enrich your child’s development, and improve your family’s quality of life, get your FREE reports now> http://www.HorizonsDRC.com

How to Write a Notable Research Paper or Essay

Writing a research paper or essay doesn’t have to be a dreaded chore. Knowing the proper steps when preparing to write a paper is essential for success. Here are a few tips and techniques to make the process less frustrating, and set you on your way to creating a notable paper.

Things You Will Need

Notepad

Index Cards

MLA, APA or other reference guide

College Dictionary

Step 1

Decide on a topic to write about and develope a thesis statement (i.e. a question you are trying to answer about the topic). It is always more productive to write about something you are interested in, rather than attempting to write about something you could care less about. Example: If you enjoy Charles Dickens’ works, write a paper on an aspect of his work, such as Christmas traditions mentioned in his popular story, “A Christmas Carol.”

Step 2

This is one of the most crucial steps in the writing process. In order to write a persuasive, argumentative, or any type of paper, good research techniques are required. Academic journals are excellent research tools to use for quotations, and general information about the topic. Many of these journals can be accessed online through campus libraries or on your home computer for free. Visiting your local library is also a good way to find sources for your research topic. Most instructors prefer academic works to be used for sources rather than non-academic resources.

http://www.infobarrel.com/How_to_Write_a_Notable_Research_Paper_or_Essay

Spending nights away from home affects baby’s attachment

Washington, July 21 (ANI): Infants who spent at least one night per week away from their mothers have more insecure attachments to the mother, as compared to babies who had fewer overnights or saw their fathers only during the day, a new study has found.

Attachments are defined as an enduring, deep, emotional connection between an infant and caregiver that develops within the child’s first year of life, according to Samantha Tornello, the study’s lead author and a Ph.D. candidate in psychology in U.Va.’s Graduate School of Arts and Sciences.

Attachments during that critical first year serve as the basis for healthy attachments and relationships later in life, including adulthood, Tornello said.

She noted that growing numbers of parents are living apart due to nonmarital childbirth, the breakup of cohabitating parents, separation and divorce.

Parents increasingly are choosing to share child rearing in some form of joint custody, and often the legal system must determine custody arrangements for the children of parents who do not live together, she said.

Tornello pointed out that either the mother or father could be the primary caregiver, but the point would be that the child ideally would be in the care each night of a loving and attentive caregiver and that there may be something disruptive about an infant spending nights in different homes.

The findings are published online in the Journal of Marriage and Family. (ANI)

http://in.news.yahoo.com/spending-nights-away-home-affects-babys-attachment-091611440.html

How to Stop Divorce: Find Out Exactly What To Do

Before you find out what you need to do to try to stop divorce, you must understand that in just about every state, you cannot stop a divorce by yourself if your spouse is determined to get one.

In addition, here are three strategies that you need to avoid if you want to stop divorce:

1. Giving reassurance, such as “I’ve changed. I won’t have another affair. I won’t lie to you anymore.” This strategy never works.

2. Telling him/her repeatedly, “I love you.” This strategy also does not work.

3. Arguing and trying to talk him/her into feeling different. This strategy does not work as well.

So what you can do to stop divorce?

The biggest secret is that you need to work at your relationship. You must persistently work at having pleasant relationship. By no means should you take your relationship for granted.

Many outside factors (job, finances, illness or inattention) have huge influence on relationships. You goal should be to deal with these factors.

Here are three steps to stop divorce.

1. Husband and wife should come to an understanding that an outside factor is the most important cause.

2. Husband and wife should create a reasonable plan for solving the problem. A thorough plan must engage both of spouses.

3. Make the plan happen. Engage the whole family if needed.

Here are some tips that will help you have a good relationship.

– Communicate with your spouse. Talk about things that bother you, using the word “we” a lot.

– Spend more time together doing things you each like to do.

– Think twice before you say something.

– Do not shout a hard criticism.

Alex Fir shares a wealth of information on his website Divorce Help Center. If you want to learn more about separation and divorce go to http://www.divorce-information-center.info/blog/

Divorce and Supporting Your Children

Unfortunately these days, divorce is a reality many couples must deal with. It is estimated that approximately 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Many couples, during the course of their relationships, have children who are affected by their life decisions. It is painful for both spouses when they decide to move on, but it’s important to remember that the children are dealing with just as much, if not more. It is very important to support your children through the course of your divorce. They must remain your top priority.

Communicate With Your Children

As a parent, the first thought may be to protect your child but you must remain honest; in an age appropriate way of course. Explain to your children, in the best way possible, why, what, and how things will be different. While they must get used to new things, also explain to them the things that will remain the same. This means their relationship with both of you. Children should be made to understand that while many things are changing, the important things will remain constant and untouched.

Listen to Their Concerns

Children are going to experience the same fears and anxieties as you are. Their whole life is changing before their eyes and they may feel rather helpless. You must reassure them that their opinions and their concerns matter. They should be able to express their feelings whether it be confusion, anger, or hurt. They should also know that they could come to you and express their feelings without receiving backlash from either side. They also deserve your understanding and reassurance that everything is going to be o.k.

Consistency

So many things are changing during this time for everyone. Your goal should be to keep as many things as routine as possible for your children. No matter what their age, children love consistency. They have enough to worry about from one day to the next than to have to worry about the one thing that has been their rock for most of their lives. You and your spouse should make it a point to work together as much as you can to keep disciplines, schedules, and other routines as regular as possible.

Work Together as Parents

Although your marriage is ending, the two of you must still raise your children together. It may be difficult at first, but you must place your feelings for each other aside and concern yourselves with the needs of your children. Attempt to be amicable and your children will reap the rewards.

Never speak negatively about your spouse in front of your kids and never make them feel like they must choose sides. Your children need the both of you and it’s your job to make sure this transition phase is as painless as possible for their sake as well as your own. Refrain from being spiteful and be kind for your children. Your children deserve to have a loving, caring relationship with both of their parents.

Stacy Rocheleau is the owner of Rocheleau Law Group. Rocheleau Law practices primarily divorce and injury law. She has experienced in divorce and child custody matters. She understands that you probably have questions about the divorce process, how child custody is determined, or child support amounts and child custody hearing.

How To Get My Husband Back For Good

We were having a successful, happy marriage, and everything seemed so perfect, But one day, out of the blue, Jim, my husband, said, “Honey, I think I want a divorce”. I was shocked! I had to figure out how to get my husband back before he finalized the divorce.

As I looked for answers, this is what I realized:

In figuring out how to win my husband back, I came to realize that although I still loved him, I needed to keep my pride in check and not let him get the better of me. Sometimes, during a separation it is a good idea not to give into him too easily, but play hard to get, and show him that he is the big loser here, not you.

When he starts showing signs of wanting to get back together, then talk to him about it and figure out how to win your husband back. But during the separation, it is important to remember that your husband needs space, so keep the conversation, without bringing in too much baggage. Phoning him, or sending the odd message will help you remind him about the good memories you share, without making him feel claustrophobic.

And if you are patient enough and give him the space he needs, he may start to open up to you, and allow you to show him how good the marriage has been. When I learned how to get my husband back, I avoided bringing up the bad memories or telling him how crazy he was to consider divorce. If I had, it would have lowered my chances of regaining his affection.

If your husband does not seem to think much of all those happy times together, then it indicate to two things: Either he is not ready to rekindle the marriage, in which case you should give him all the space he needs, or he has started to move on already. But if those memories make him open up to you and get him interested then, bring up more of them and reinforce the fact that your marriage is what he needs, until you are certain how to win your husband back.

Only once my husband started showing some affection and interest in me, did I decide to tell him how I felt. In learning how to win my husband back, I opened my heart up to him, without being clingy, desperate or needy. As soon as your husband gives off those signs of getting back together, you should open up to him and notice his response. And if his body language says otherwise, you should lay off and rather let him come to you.

When my husband thought of divorcing me, these are some of the things I did as I learned how to get my husband back. If your hubby is about to call it quits, then give some of my tips a try, but also seek professional help. Nut whatever you do, remember to never give up hope, avoid being weak, talk to husband about rectifying your issues, and avoid divorce at all costs.

http://www.articlecity.com/articles/relationships/article_1919.shtml