Chief among newlywed problems is financial problems with not being prepared for marriage running a close second. It’s true that newlyweds face many serious problems but money problems cause more marital discord than all of the others. When there’s not enough money or if money is poorly managed, newlyweds can become frustrated and begin to argue and to accuse one another of causing the problem. However, there can be several causes for newlywed money problems. Whatever the problems are the roots of most newlywed marriage problems are not being prepared for marriage and/or selfishness. How many times have couples gone off to get married without literally counting the cost of being married simply because they wanted to get married and nothing else mattered. This is a form of selfishness that can lead directly to a host of newlywed marriage problems.
Newlywed Marriage Problem: Money
The seventies R&B group the O’Jays did a song entitled Money and the lyrics went something like Money! Money! Money!â€¦, Money! Some people got to have it! Some people really need it! Some people do thangs, do thangs, bad thangs with it! This song points out our attitudes toward money and how a bad attitude can lead to doing bad thangs with it. No matter how much money you have if you don’t handle it properly it will be a curse and not a blessing. Money is not evil but it has been said that the love of money is the root of all evil. Many newlywed marriage problems are a direct result of wrong attitudes about money.
Newlywed Marriage Problem: Communication
A popular financial counselor has said something like women speak fifty-thousand words a day with gusts up to seventy-five miles an hour. We all know most men don’t come anywhere near that. Herein lies a problem. When there’s poor or no communication in a relationship, problems get worse because they aren’t being addressed. Even when there is communication problems may not be addressed in a productive way. Accusing one another doesn’t solve the problem it just causes another one. This is a case of focusing on the problem person and not on the problem.
Newlywed Marriage Problem: Not Prepared for Marriage
Isn’t it amazing that we make some of the most important decisions in life when some of us are the youngest and for the lack of a better word, dumbest?We make major decisions like whether we will go into the military or go to college or who we will choose for a marriage partner. But what kind of preparation do we have to make the decision about who to marry. Parents can be a great example of what marriage should be like but their example isn’t transferrable. You still have to put in the effort that your parents did to make their marriage successful.
Newlywed Marriage Problem: Selfishness
It’s been said that “some people love people and use money while other people love money and use people.”Not valuing a spouse as a human being with feelings and needs that you can fulfill is very detrimental to a marriage relationship. Marriage can be defined as two becoming one. If spouses don’t think and act in one accord they will be divided and a house divided against itself cannot stand.
Newlywed Marriage Problem: Lust not Love
Confusing lust with love is another newlywed marriage problem. Sex isn’t enough to overcome all of the other pressures of marriage. Relationships based on lust can breakdown when the newness of the physical aspect of the relationship wears off.
Newlywed Marriage Problem: Not Committed (The Easy Way Out)
The divorce rate in the United States is right around fifty percent. That means that one out of every two marriages end in divorce. Unfortunately divorce has become a normal way of life for too many of us. Statistics like that beg the question, Do couples enter into marriage thinking that if things don’t go the way they want it to, they can always bail? If so, this isn’t the kind of commitment it takes to make a marriage last.