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Marriage Counseling Questions to Ask

Marriage – one of the most significant and life changing events in an individual’s life, is generally not a bed of roses. Unfortunately, before getting married majority of the couples grossly misinterpret the value of going for a marriage counseling. Marriage counseling is not always done owing to some relationship problems or more precisely, marital problems. Marriage counseling can even be done if you both have very good compatibility, just to discover more deeper aspects about your relationships. Marriage counseling does work and helps in strengthening your relationship. Marriage counseling questions are asked to you by marriage therapists, who analyze and interpret your answers.

Marriage Counseling Questions Before You Tie the KnotYou both love each other and you’ve decided to tie the knot sooner. Well, why not answer these five questions that may help you to understand the larger picture of your coming life, in a better way. Moreover, these questions can be like marriage counseling questions to strengthen your relationship. Here they go…

Q1) Why do You Want to Get Married?If you’re able to answer this question, you win half the battle. Majority of people get married because of external pressures like family and society. Why not give a thought to this question? Do you want to get married because it’s just a process, you’ve to do by default? Or you really have the urge and feeling to share your life with the other person? Marrying because you’re single for years or because you’re the only care taker of your parents, may sound logical but if your heart is not in the marriage, well, then you know better how your life will be, in the future. Pen down your answer to this question and see where you stand. I’m serious, just try it.

Q2) Why do You Want to Marry This Person?Don’t say “I love her”, “He loves me”. Well, that you’re aware about, by now. Marriage needs more than love. You’ve to reflect deeper qualities of your partner. Some factors that separate him/her and make them special for you. What makes you choose this person instead of any body else? How will he be your care taker in life? How confident are you about the person? Think over it. You’ll come out more solved.

Q3) What are Your Similarities and Differences?This is one of the best marriage counseling questions to ask each other. Remember, if you can share you similarities and enjoy your differences, you can be assured that you’ll be easily able to sail highs and lows of life. Write down all your similarities and differences and work on improving them. It may work wonders in maximizing your love chemistry.

Q4) What are the Core Values You Cherish in Your Partner?One of my personal favorite marriage counseling questions. This question in itself encompasses true values on which you wish to build you married life. This will answer what makes you both special for each other.

Q5) How do You Envision Your Married Life?Every individual must have a vision in life. When getting married, you must have plans and hopes for some beautiful future. Well, you must have. However, you’ve to work for it, just like you worked in chasing her/him and winning his/her heart. Remember that excitement and passion. Same energy and love you’ve to keep in your married life to make it a grand success.

Marriage counseling is certainly a wonderful way to solve any issues that trouble your mind. In case, you’ve got some serious questions in your mind about your marriage, there are various questions to ask a marriage therapist, who will help you to organize your mind. Marriage counseling does work and they can really help you in building healthy relationships. When you’re ready with answers of above marriage counseling questions, you can be assured of your love. Lastly, I can’t resist the temptation to include a beautiful prayer, a verse from the Bible, that speaks about the foundation stone of any relationship. Just reflect on these lines and dive deep into them, all answers you’ll get, automatically…

Love is patient, love is kind.It does not envy, it does not boast,It is not proud, it is not rude,It is not self – seeking,It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong,Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth,It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves….Love never fails.

Wish you a happy married life!!

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/marriage-counseling-questions-to-ask.html

How to Fight Fairly in a Marriage

French moralist Joseph Joubert once said, “The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress”.

There is so much wisdom in this statement. It can be particularly helpful in marriage where disagreements are almost inevitable. A simple disagreement can quickly turn into an argument, which can then turn into a fight where the sole purpose is to win. It is almost ingrained in many people to fight to win, so it is perfectly reasonable that in marriage, you say and do things that are completely out of character in the interest of winning an argument with your spouse.

Most people get to know their spouse before they get married. You ask questions, you share stories that influenced you and you compromise in the interest of making your future spouse happy. Marriage changes that. Once you know you have the person forever, you tend to abandon the need to please them all the time. It is rational to conclude that you cannot always please your spouse.

However, when you argue with your spouse, it means you have found a difference in each other that perhaps you did not see before marriage. It is important to your marriage that you take time to explore that difference, understand where it is coming from, and find an acceptable compromise.

Your approach to a disagreement sets the tone for where the disagreement leads. If you are emotional, angry or overwhelmed, it may be good to take some time to collect yourself. If you were approaching your boss or a co-worker with a difference in opinion, you would most likely handle the issue with care and have thought carefully about your approach. Your marriage should be approached with the same care, perhaps more, because this is the person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with. Most disagreements are best approached without an audience, so bringing up your disappointment with a decision your spouse made should not be done in front of your mother.

Listening to your spouse is a key element in a fair fight. If you interrupt, yell over or walk away when your spouse is stating his/her stance on an issue, you portray that you only want to win. If you choose to say derogatory things, throw your spouses past in their face or call them names, you are abusing your spouse. You may win the argument, but it will most likely be at the expense of your marriage.

Being accusatory rarely helps in an argument with your spouse. If you accuse your spouse of not caring about you or the family because you differ in opinions, you create a breeding ground for defensiveness and resentment. It would be more constructive to ask why this is so important to your spouse and how it is good for you and/or the family. “You’re wrong”, “That’s not true”, and “That’s not what I want” are also statements that will prompt your spouse to defend him or her self or resent you. On the other hand, “I disagree”, is a neutral, non-accusatory statement and when followed with your position on the issue, can be enlightening for your spouse.

If you see yourself or your spouse becoming defensive in an argument, or if the argument is becoming highly emotional, there is nothing wrong with saying that you need to consider the issue further before responding. Sometimes setting a time when you can re-approach the issue helps. Sometimes simply saying that you will discuss the issue further once you have re-organized your thoughts and feelings can help. Which response works best in this situation should be made considering both yourself and your spouse. The issue may be important enough to your spouse to warrant a time when you will respond. If that is the case, give yourself plenty of room to think about the issue and your spouse a set time when you will return to discuss it.

It is also important to recognize a situation where the two of you will never agree. If there is no middle ground to be found, and the issue is not paramount to the survival of your marriage, you have to know when to agree to disagree. Your spouse does not have to agree with you on every issue in order to love you. In fact, the little things you disagree on can be endearing to one another. If the issue is vital to the survival of your marriage, and you cannot compromise, marriage counseling may be a consideration. Many married couples turn away from counseling until their relationship is in danger of being over. This is a mistake. Not only can marriage counseling help you find a solution to your current problem, but it can also help you find more productive ways to communicate with your spouse.

It is natural to want your spouse to be in agreement with you. It is this desire to be in agreement that can make the above suggestions hard to execute. However, these suggestions can be a good foundation for a fair fight. Marriage is a union between to people, not a free pass to abuse or otherwise hurt your spouse. Avoiding permanent damage to your marriage is in learning to take the above steps and respect both your needs and your spouses.

 

http://www.helium.com/items/1527725-how-to-fight-fairly-in-a-marriage

Will Marriage Counseling Get Your Wife Back?

Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, President of South Africa, Peace Maker

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“Does marriage counseling work? My wife and I have tried seeing a marriage counselor for the past few weeks, but it doesn’t seem like it’s doing anything…What am I doing wrong?”

If you’re like many of the lost and confused husbands in the 21st century, then you have already tried the most commonly prescribed solution to any marriage problem, i.e. marriage counseling.

I don’t know when it became such common practice, but somehow the go-to solution for any and all problems that could plague a marriage (separation, loss of passion, divorce, infidelity, lack of communication, etc.), the most prominent and widely advice that you’re going to get is “have you tried marriage counseling?”

You would think that such a booming and reputable industry would be so highly recommended because of its high success rate, right? In other words, marriage counseling is so popular because it has a history of legitimately fixing the marriage problems that plague so many relationships these days, right?

Wrong!

Did you know that…

Marriage Counseling has the Highest Failure Rate of Any Therapy

Yup, marriage counseling and marriage counselors have the lowest success rate of any other counseling or therapy related field.

So, does marriage counseling work? I would say ‘not even close’.

* Drug addicts in rehab have a higher success rate than marriage counselors

* Alcoholics in AA have a higher success rate than marriage counselors

* Anger management therapy has a higher success rate than marriage counselors

* Even the prison counseling programs for murderers, rapists and other criminals have a higher success rate than marriage counseling

You would think that for up to $200 per hour there’d be some sort of guarantee that you’d see results in your marriage, but this is absolutely not the case. Marriage counseling DOES NOT WORK for most couples, and marriage counseling success rates are surprisingly low (less than 25%).

There is a type of couple that can benefit from marriage and family counseling, but it is the exception, not the rule. Most marriage counselors don’t effectively address the true issues that are leaving you and your wife ‘unfulfilled in our marriage’.

Does Marriage Counseling Work? Do We Have the Highest Divorce Rates, Ever?

Admittedly, according to recent statistics, the divorce rate in America has finally come to somewhat of a plateau in the past couple years because less people are getting married, so there are less couples to divorce.

But still, in the past 10 – 25 years divorce rates have sky rocketed, and I want you to really think about this for a minute… Doesn’t it seem strange that the rise in divorce rates correlates almost directly with the thriving marriage counseling industry? Some might argue that this makes sense because more divorces need more marriage counseling, but what if the true source of the problem wasn’t actually divorce, but the total ineffectiveness, even counter-productivity, of marriage counseling?

I’ll tell you an example of this – My own parents are divorced. They were married for over 20 years, and they tried everything in the book to save their marriage. They tried not one, not two, not three, not four, but FIVE different marriage counselors over the course of 10 YEARS, and not a single one of them did anything to save their marriage.

In fact, the marriage only ever got worse because my parents became frustrated with their lack of progress, and that frustration led to even more problems in the marriage.

In other words, marriage counseling added fuel to the fire, and it poisoned my parents’ marriage.

Now, I’m not saying that all marriage counselors are complete quacks, but a surprising amount of them are. Their marriage counseling methods and techniques are based on theory, conjecture and textbooks, not actual romantic or human experience or even on successful marriages.

Many Marriage Therapists Lack Proven or Relevant Experience

This could probably be said about many therapy related fields, but I feel that it is especially true in marriage counseling. I know of multiple marriage counselors who have actually gone through a divorce, but continue to teach others how to fix their marriage. Clearly these people have no idea what actually works if they can’t even save their own marriage, so why would you trust them to save yours?

Again, I don’t want to make any overly broad generalizations here, but I do feel like the marriage counseling field has become equivalent with divorce attorneys…It’s just one more cog in the machine leading to the simultaneous degradation and capitalization of marriage in America. I mean, from a price standpoint they’re both expensive… It will run you about $400 for an hour to talk on the phone with a divorce attorney, and a single marriage counseling session will usually cost you at least $100, and more for a ‘good’ one.

These are people that know you’re desperate and are willing to take advantage of that are their own gain.

Think about it, if you were truly passionate about helping people and saving marriages, would you demand $300 per session for something that you haven’t even seen consistently yield results? I’m not saying it’s morally wrong to charge a lot of money for your services, but when there’s so much money involved it’s only natural to question true motives, especially without results to justify a high price.

Think about it, most marriage counselors recommend at least 10 sessions to see results in your marriage, which means you’re dropping $1,000 to $2,000 on totally unproven techniques and strategies.

Which brings me to the implied second part of our original question…Does marriage counseling work, and why or why not?

And to me, this is what seems to be the reason most marriage counselors fail:

Most Marriage Counselors Have Been Trained To Analyze Problems, Not Create Solutions

This is what I really think it comes down to… Everything that your average marriage counselor has learned, and in turn everything they teach you, was very likely written by a psychologist.

All those things that your marriage counselor tells you…

* “Just keep working at it”…

* “Communication is the key”…

* “Be more open with each other”…

* “Start having intimacy time”…

* “Date nights are the answer”…

* “Make her feel loved”…

All of those things are written in some text book somewhere and that textbook was written by a psychologist. These are things that women think they want, and they do when everything is already perfect, but they will NOT save your marriage.

These are all things you should be doing when your marriage is thriving, more like characteristics of a successful marriage than actual techniques to fix a broken one.

But You Can Clearly See Their Train of Thought…

A good marriage has open communication, right? So it ‘makes sense’ that to fix a broken marriage you should develop open communication, right?

A good marriage has spouses who enjoy intimacy time with each other, right? So, it ‘makes sense’ to say that if you force intimacy time you’ll fix your marriage, right?

But marriage isn’t backwards compatible like that…It doesn’t work because these logical solutions are NOT going to work when there is no feelings of attraction or emotional fondness behind them. So even if you’re going through the motions correctly, there is no guarantee that you will actually fix your marriage.

In fact, if anything you’re almost guaranteed to make it worse, because you’ll remind your wife how bad things have to be that she can’t feel ANYTHING even when you’re apparently trying so hard.

Remember, attraction is the ONLY thing that will save your marriage. Without attraction there is no emotional incentive driving your wife to come back to you…Logic, reason, counseling, courses, books, rational techniques and perseverance will not save your marriage. Feelings, emotion and passion will.

So, does couples counseling work? Does marriage counseling work? I suppose I should let your own experiences give you the definitive answer, but from all of my own experience I would say that you’re better off trying to fix things on your own than with a counselor.

If you still have any questions, I would like to encourage you to take a look at my free report.

Check it out:

FREE! 9 Essential Traits of Good Husbands

Seriously, it’s an eye opener. Strongly recommended you have a look.

Alternatively, you might like to know why communication won’t save your marriage. I know – controversial – but I hope you’ll take a look and see what I mean.

Whatever you decide to do thanks so much for reading!

Kindly,

– Jacob

Marriage Sherpa Gives Free Lessons on How To Stop Divorce

Wilmington, NC (PRWEB) June 27, 2012

Marriage Sherpa offers free lessons on how to save a marriage from divorce through a 10-part ecourse called “Your Blueprint for Saving Your Marriage”. The free ecourse discusses the following topics:

  •     How to stop divorce
  •     How to get a spouse to open up
  •     How to fall in love again
  •     How to restore the trust
  •     How to repair the honesty after lying
  •     How to save a marriage alone
  •     How to end fighting before it starts
  •     How to ignite the passion and romance
  •     How to laugh and have fun again
  •     How to restore the trust after an affair

The following URL contains the registration form:

http://www.marriagesherpa.com/how-to-save-my-marriage-tips-advice

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Marriage Sherpa offers online marriage counseling tips to those seeking help from a marriage counselor. We partner with experienced certified marriage therapists and marriage counselors to provide marriage saving courses and programs designed to save marriages, survive affairs, and stop a divorces. Does marriage counseling work? Of course, but marriage counseling costs can really add up. Stop the endless and costly search for help with your marriage. Hope is available at MarriageSherpa.com.

Ana Hudson

Marriage Sherpa

910-795-1984

Will Marriage Counseling Help My Marriage?

If both you and your spouse are willing to give marriage counseling an honest try and if you are both committed to fixing the problems that exist between you, then it is likely that it will help.

There are so many factors that go into keeping a marriage alive that it is impossible to give a simple answer to that question. In a nutshell, if both you and your spouse are willing to give marriage counseling an honest try and if you are both committed to fixing the problems that exist between you, then it is likely that it will help. However, if that is not the case, it is unlikely that anything will help. There are things that you can do to improve the chances of marriage counseling being successful for your relationship.

Be Honest

This means you must be honest with yourself and your spouse. Make sure that you understand what you feel and why you feel it before you go see the counselor. If you do not know what you want, it will be very hard to tell your spouse about it. Then you must be willing to tell your spouse exactly what you are feeling and, if you know, why you are feeling that way. Do not water down the truth to protect their feelings. This will not solve anything.

Be Involved, In And Out Of the Counselor”s Office

When you are at a counseling session, pay attention to what your spouse and the counselor say and answer any questions as completely and honestly as you can. Often times, marriage counselors will assign you projects to do on your own. Make sure you do these even if they seem pointless at the time. They are designed to help you to open up and find a way to get closer to your spouse. Although you may not see the benefits immediately, if you take them seriously, they should pay off in time.

Believe In Success

Adopting a positive attitude about the process can make a huge difference. If you believe that the counseling will work then there is a good chance that it will. If you do not believe in it and are simply going through the motions to keep your spouse off your back then you should expect failure.

Counseling Does Not Guarantee Success

Even if you go into counseling with the best intentions, it may still fail. Some relationships just do not succeed. Some reasons for this include:

– Your spouse is not taking the process seriously and is not willing to do the work necessary.

– Your spouse is not really interested in saving the marriage.

– The problems mostly center on things that you either cannot or are not willing to change.

If none of these things are true and you are not yet willing to try the marriage-counseling route, go visit: how to save my marriage (http://www.savemarriagenow.com). There are information and advice that may prevent your spouse from becoming your ex in the first place. If you have 5 minutes, watch a video on how using unconventional method works like magic, visit the magic of making up (http://www.themagicofmakingup.com)

http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Will Marriage Counseling Help My Marriage?-a01074457785

Marriage Counseling Books

There are thousands of marriage counseling books available for purchase. But, how much are you willing to spend on them? When it comes to marriage, you have to stay committed and try to work it out the best way possible. In this article, I will be explaining the rewards of being active in your marriage.

Yes! Every marriage is different, because everyone is different and have different morals. At the end of the day however, marriage is about commitment and being therte for your significant other 100%.

You see, in order to find the perfect marriage counseling books, you first have to understand what you really want to gain from it. It does not matter how big or hor how small it is, if that is what you want, then work toward in getting it.

Looking for marriage counseling books does not neccessary mean that your marriage is in crises. Sometimes it just means that when there is a disagreement in your marriage, you need help finding a solution to the problem. Marriage counseling books are just guides in helping you find solutions to your problem. In most cases, they work. But, if you are the type that is complicated, then it may not work.

It is a wonderful thing that you really want to increase your marriage potential. Some people bail out, because it is to much stress for them, but not you. You actually want to make your marriage last forever. Isn’t that the reason you got married in the first place? Didn’t you get married so that you can have a backbone?

Everyone in this world want love. If you ever heard someone say different, they are fibbing and they are just upset, because they can not find that one to call their backbone.

Family is such a strong word, however it is very important to work things out as a family. Without it, your family is bound to get broken. And if your family is already broken, them you have o find a way to fix the brokeness. If you have children, a broken marriage can affect them so much. Marriage family counselor can help out a lot when there is nothing else.

There are thousands of marriage counseling books available for purchase. But, how much are you willing to spend on them? Don’t always try to focus on the pricing of the book, but rather the outcome you are wishing to recieve. Looking at table of contents of marriage counselor book wiull help you determine which one meet your needs.

http://www.streetarticles.com/marriage/marriage-counseling-books

Finding a Good Marriage Counselor

If saving the marriage is important to both partners, finding a good marriage counselor is probably the most important thing you will ever do. The tips for finding a good marriage counselor are no different than what you would do to find a counselor for any issue.

REFERRALS

The best way to find out if someone is a good marriage counselor is to ask people who have used their services. If you do not have friends or family who have used a marriage counselor (or who will admit to it), ask the counselor to give you references. Of course he or she will undoubtedly give you the names of satisfied customers, but that will still give you a feel for the counselor’s ability.

Note: Successful marriage counseling does not always end in the couple staying together. Counseling may show them that there are just too many incompatibilities, too many differences in values and goals.

EXPERIENCE

Being in the business for a long time does not necessarily mean a counselor is good at their job. Still, it is one indicator that suggests someone knows what she or he is doing. Someone who has been counseling for a long time should have learned a few things along the way. A really bad marriage counselor is not likely to last very long in the business.

CREDENTIALS

Credentials are not really as important, in my opinion, as the first two criteria. Stronger credentials do not necessarily guarantee a good counseling experience. In the hierarchy of therapists, we have psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists such as Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) or Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC).

Unless a psychiatrist specializes in marriage counseling, he or she may be less well-trained than other therapists. The same could be said for psychologists. It is better to find a psychiatrist or psychologist who specializes in marriage counseling than one who is simply willing to occasionally see couples for marriage counseling.

The training of MFTs and LPCs varies from one state to another. There are differences in the number of hours of internship required. There are differences in the tests required for licensure. The credentials of a marriage counselor or therapist are not sufficient for making this important judgment. Still, they may have more training in this area than their psychiatrist or psychologist counterparts.

ALTERNATIVE COUNSELORS

Any minister, priest, rabbi, or other spiritual leader can legally provide marriage counseling. This is a common part of most ministries, as is officiating at marriages. Some will offer marriage counseling without charge if you are a member of the congregation. Some belong to national pastoral counseling organizations, which does not necessarily qualify them as good marriage counselors.

There are many other categories of counselors with less in the way of degrees or licensure. Anyone can call herself a spiritual counselor. For that matter, legal ordinations can be obtained for a few bucks. I have such an ordination myself. Although there are organizations that teach coaching and give licenses, this is not a regulated industry. Anyone can call himself a coach.

I do not mention this last category to warn you or denigrate their collective abilities. You may find the best marriage counselor among this latter group. You would simply need to use the same criteria for them as for any others. Get references and look at their longevity and track record.

CONCLUSION

Marriage counseling involves an intimate relationship between three people. Regardless of references, experience, or credentials, both spouses must feel comfortable with the counselor. Usually it takes just one session to decide if there is compatibility. If either spouse feels that the counselor is taking sides, the counseling will break down and will not be successful.

Ultimately, the sincerity of each partner in seeking help to save the marriage will be the biggest indicator of success. The best marriage counselor in the country will not be able to save a marriage, which was already over before the couple came to counseling. A good marriage counselor can be a great help in opening up communication and helping the spouses see things from a different perspective, but only the couple themselves can save their marriage.

 

http://www.helium.com/items/1189740-finding-a-good-marriage-counselor

4 Main Reasons Why Couples Seek Marriage Counseling

Marriage Counseling to Avoid Divorce

Nowadays, couples are more aware of the causes of divorce in most marriages. To prevent their marriage from falling victim, some couples seek marriage counseling early on and in a regular basis. For most counseling advocates, this is a great idea as it gives couples the advantage of preventing any problem to escalate that may bring damage to their relationship. By taking the initiative, by Counseling for couples they can prevent divorce in their marriage while keeping their relationship healthy.

Pre-Marriage Counseling

Pre-marriage counseling is commonly a church requirement but couples benefit from it and are strongly advised to have it prior to getting married. It remains a shock to think that many couples enter marriage without even discussing their plans and preferences in their marriage. Predictably, problems and conflicts easily shake their relationships, finding out too late that they have clashing values in life and opposite perceptions. Fortunately, they can always go to couple marriage counseling whenever they decide to. If both partners have the desire to make things work out between them, they can surely get help from marriage counseling.

Marriage Counseling for Infidelity

Infidelity is one of the most devastating and most common problems in a relationship. Marriages get broken every day because one of the parties cheated on the other, causing heartbreak, anger, resentment and many other things as aftermath. Couples who want to keep their marriage must seek couples counseling to avoid divorce. Finding the right counselor is everything in this situation because handling infidelity issues is tough and when wrongly handled, will only cause more hurt and eventually, divorce. Through marriage counseling, couples get the best help they can. They get to exchange feelings and thoughts in a safe environment, explore the causes of the problems they have, identify ways to solve them, regain each other’s trust and develop more affection and care for each other. Therefore, rebuilding their marriage and letting go of the past.

Marriage Counseling for Financial Problems

Financial problems, one of the most common in marriages, have become worse with the worsening of the economy. As jobs get harder to come by and less money to spend on the needs of a household, more and more couples suffer from conflicts because of money. Before things get out of hand and before the word “divorce” is said, couples should seek marriage counseling and get help.

When facing problems that are hard to resolve in the relationship, couples, married or not, should seek marriage counseling. It should not be the last resort, rather the first step in preventing divorce and separation in marriages. Couples need to realize that there are no perfect marriages, only happy ones in the face of problems. They also have to realize that they cannot solve every problem alone. Sometimes, to ask for help is the bravest and wisest thing to do. Moreover, problems should not be viewed negatively, but instruments to make a relationship better and stronger.

http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/4-main-reasons-why-couples-seek-marriage-counseling-5444411.html

Ten Ways to Avoid Divorce

There are probably just as many scatterbrained schemes as there are reasonable and realistic options that you can use to put your marriage back together. This means you have to be aware of ideas that seem too good to be true and to put your focus on choices that you can put into action.

1. Avoid denial. We understand that you’re in shock and the natural reaction may be to want to deny that your spouse wants a divorce. Don’t deny the truth hoping it will just go away and everything will be okay. You need to take action and the first action is to accept that there’s a problem so that you can set about working to resolve it.

2. Assess yourself. This may sound contrary if you are not the one asking for a divorce but an evaluation of yourself is a good way to start looking at what factors may have caused a divorce to come up. Are you the same size as when you were married or have you put on weight and let your appearance slip? Do you take the time to make yourself attractive to your spouse or do you take them for granted. Sometimes divorce can be the result of failing to take care of ourselves which directly impacts how your mate feels about you.

3. Evaluate your marriage. This is extremely important because it is your marriage that is on the line. Have you been happy with your spouse or have the two of you been fighting like a cat and dog? Is there any romance or do you simply have sex as a ritual? When do you spend quality time together without the kids, the dog, the cell phones and the laptops? Understanding what the present state of your marriage has been for the last few months or even years can be a starting point in trying to save your marriage by resurrecting romance, passion, fun and togetherness.

4. Consider marriage counseling. Sometimes the threat of divorce is a cry for help. Your spouse may be dealing with some frustrations and be at their wits end because they’ve tried talking to you and you haven’t listened. Marriage counseling allows both partners to speak about the condition of the relationship and the problems being encountered, all within the help of a marriage counselor who can try to help sort things out.

5. Take an intimacy break. As strange as it may sound, the announcement of a divorce may trigger certain feelings in one or both spouses that are highly aroused and spontaneously filled with unbridled passion. The problem is that these hot moments are not a substitute and it’s very possible that you will find your spouse even more unreasonable afterwards due to feeling manipulated or used.

6. Try praying. No matter what your religious beliefs are, you can try to start out with simple prayer that places your needs before the Creator.

7. Don’t belittle yourself. Once you are over the denial, you may want to beg, cry or threaten your spouse to get them to agree that a divorce is not necessary. This will only make you feel worse when you discover you cannot make them do what you want.

8. Have a lunch meeting just to talk. Try to pick one of your favorite dining spots and agree to meet just to talk. Take the time to listen to what your spouse has to say. The key may be in the words they share with you. Don’t resort to finger pointing or spiteful comments as they will only cause more damage.

9. Express yourself in writing. Sometimes the best way to deal with our feelings is to put them in writing. Saving your marriage may be the same thing. Sit down and write a letter to your spouse and explain how you feel about them, why you want your marriage to work and what you believe the two of you have to look forward to together.

10. Use your heart and mind. Your heart is a brilliant emotional tool. Let it guide you to the positive feelings you

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Covington, Kentucky Law Firm Weighs in on Recent Supreme Court Discussions Regarding Marriage Equality

Covington, KY (PRWEB) March 30, 2013

As the country stands divided in trying to determine what constitutes marriage and the limits of equality and the constitution, perhaps a re-examination of the meaning of marriage. As a lawyer specializing in family and divorce law in Kentucky, Brenna Penrose sees the reality of many of these statistics on a regular basis. Considering the failure rate with marriages in the United States today, it is possible that more needs to strengthen the sanctity of the institution than simply limiting who can achieve such status.

Last week, the Supreme Court began hearing arguments regarding California’s Proposition 8 as well as the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). This is a time when even the Supreme Court notes that decisions will not come easily, as the decision cannot be based on any one individual’s beliefs, but must represent the entire, or even the majority, of a very divided nation. Considering the rights of who can legally get married is one thing, but perhaps there should be more attention drawn toward those who are already able to legally wed.

According to the United States Centers for Disease Control, the marriage rate for 1000 individuals is almost 7. The divorce rate is more than three and a half. So, this country has more people being divorced than are being married. In Kentucky, the divorce rate is approximately 33 percent higher than the national average. This is a definitive concern for many as divorce has far-reaching effects for all of those involved.

Divorce lawyers in Kentucky can attest that those who have gone through a recent divorce can suffer from several detrimental effects. These range from a negative impact on personal finances, productivity at work, and emotional distress. There is always a concern on the emotion health of children of divorced parents or parents going through a divorce, however, the emotional harm that the adults going through the divorce themselves can suffer.

Family law attorneys often see both as cases of custody, domestic violence, and similar events stemming directly from the failure of marriages. While many argue over the sanctity of marriage and who should or should not be able to get married, the various marriage counseling, pre-marriage counseling, and similar programs seem to be falling short of their goal of helping Americans enter into long term, successful relationships, avoiding the pitfalls that so many stumble into.

About Penrose Law: Penrose Law is Covington, Kentucky law firm specializing in family law, criminal law, divorce law, custody law, wills, and trusts. With a dedication to their clients in providing knowledge and support throughout the legal system, Penrose Law has developed several relationships with their clients and others in the community.

Brenna Penrose

Penrose law

(859) 581-7400