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Divorce, Single Parenting, And Teen Pregnancy Make A Triangle

Certain triangles in life can’t be broken no matter how hard people try.

One such triangle is found within numerous families, and involves the divorce rate, single parenthood, and teen pregnancy.

It begins with children and divorce.

Once a child is subjected to growing up in a broken family, her propensity towards using drugs, alcohol, and engaging in unprotected sex becomes much higher than for a teenager who lives in a home where both of her parents are still married.

Thus, the first leg of the triangle is in place with the divorce.

Statistics show that a teen girl who is the product of divorced parents is more likely to become pregnant, giving rise to the second leg of the triangle.

The occurrence of teen pregnancy in the United States is presently high, with approximately one third, or 33%, of women carrying a child to term before reaching the age of twenty.

Next, 80% of teen moms have to deal with the fathers of their children leaving, which creates a situation of single parenthood for the women and babies left behind.

The other 20% who are able to make it to the altar have their own set of problems with which to contend, as studies show that a majority of these teen parents who get married so early on will usually wind up having to visit the divorce court in order to file a petition for dissolution of marriage.

And, couples with minor children who choose to file for divorce help the number of single mothers increase as a result, which puts the third leg of the triangle firmly into its place.

How does the triangular cycle unfold within this new structure after the divorce is final?

First, the minor children and each of the newly single parents have to adjust to a custody and visitation schedule.

Next, the spouses have to get used to the idea of one parent giving child support payments to the other parent, an event which can create further obstacles especially when the parent who is supposed to pay chooses to make the process complicated for no other reason than to cause additional divorce issues.

An act such as this one that is witnessed by the children also leaves its stamp on them as they will only grow up to repeat the cycle with their own mates and future offspring, keeping that triangle firmly in place for the next generation down to experience and continue themselves.

In addition to visitation schedules, the minor children also have to adapt to a life without both of their parents around at the same time such as they were when still married.

All of these events lead up to one main consequence, which is the instance of unhappy children and rebellious behavior.

The second leg of the triangle comes into play since an unhappy female is at a high risk for bad conduct, especially when her father is not around full time.

It is an undisputed fact that an adolescent female needs a father figure in her life, especially during the formative years of growing up. It is further no surprise that most of those teenage women who do get pregnant lack the crucial father-daughter relationship that is so important to the prevention of the young mother epidemic.

Why is it that growing up with a father has such an influence on whether or not a teenager becomes pregnant?

When a girl is raised without her father, she will go elsewhere to find the affection and attention she would normally have received from her male parent. She will turn to the arms of the young boy she has a crush on who promises her the world and more with his sweet whisperings in her ear, all of which inevitably leads up to unprotected sex and an ensuing child on the way.

It is no secret that a majority of teenage fathers do not stick around to raise their child, much less provide monetary support to the mother.

On the other hand, those teens who do try to do the marriage thing must also deal with another harsh statistic thrown their way, which is the fact that their high school dropout rate is extremely high.

Paired with the reality that it is the lesser educated folk holding lower wage jobs who are more likely to fight about finances and most everything else, it is no wonder that those in the teenage bracket who tie the knot are more likely to get a divorce later on down the road.

And when the end of the marital union does come about, it inevitably contributes to the high divorce rate while leaving the teen mother to be a single parent. And the child must now fare without a male figure in the house which will start the cycle of pregnancy all over again once the young child has hit teenage years.

Is there any way to break the pattern and help to foster healthier and long lasting relationships among adolescents and adults alike?

As the old saying goes, “timing is everything” which is a good way to consider the road to marriage.

Two Secrets of a Happy Marriage

In the era we live in, divorce rate rises continually. Back in the fifties, the divorce rate in the church was much lower than the divorce rate in the world. Yet nowadays the divorce rate in the church is the same as that of the world’s.

It is very interesting to observe that among Hasidic Jews, this means Jews that still have prearranged marriages, the divorce rate is zero! Incredible, isn’t it?

However when asked about the secret of such a low divorce rate, the main ingredient was respect. “We respect one another” they said.

Another survey showed that among the Christian couples who pray together (I mean really making time to pray, not just saying the blessing at the table) the divorce rate is incredibly low, less than one percentage. Obviously, here praying together is the key.

These two categories have given along with their answers, an important indicator to a marriage’s stability. Let’s see more about respect and prayer in marriage.

How can respect be nurtured in your relationship?

1. First of all you need to realize that your spouse is not primarily yours; what I mean is that he or she belongs to God, he/she is God’s “property” and it is God Who gave him/her to you. You will also have to give an account to God concerning the relationship with your spouse, you are supposed to grow together closer and closer to God’s image and in this process you also grow closer and closer to one another.

2. Jesus said “Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.” That involves knowing your partner better each day and treating him/her as they want to be treated. There is one important thing to note here, treating him as he wants to be treated (not as you want him to treat you); I am making this distinction clear because women have certain expectations like being paid attention to, listened (not only heard), ultimately all these lead to one thing: respect. The same way, men need to be respected, they need to know that their partner admires their qualities in private and in public as well. However, people are unique, your partner is unique, that’s why you as his wife and you as her husband should know best your partner’s love language.

Just as you can’t make a sparrow swim or a fish fly, the same way, you need to create the suitable environment for your spouse, telling him/her you love and respect her/him using her/his own language. Many times the way you want to be treated is not the way he wants to be treated by you, he might just not perceive certain gestures the way you do; that’s why, you have to learn, use and continually update your partner’s love language.

3. Pray together, stay together

Prayer creates an incredible bond between people, and especially when it comes to marriage, God, the inventor of this institution will surely strengthen it and help the two make marriage what it is supposed to be. Being thankful every day for your partner, with him/her actually hearing you saying “thank you Lord for my husband/wife” is such a blessing and such a great wounds healer! It can heal deep wounds; this gives depth to your love and respect levels. Just being grateful for what God gave you.

It is in prayer that you realize better and clearer how together you form a whole and that you should complete each other and not compete against each other. Ridiculing each other is a habit that can be fun at first, but once it reaches maturity, its fruits are bitter. Therefore coming before God every day, simply allows you both revolve around the steady axis that can really reinforce your marriage and can put you back on the right track.

Spinning one around another as a couple is not sufficient, people change, feelings can be up or down, situations differ, yet God is the same, always, never changing and this stability and advice that you can receive only from His perspective, is of a great value in marriage, actually is the best advice ever!

Through prayer God will also remind you of how beautiful He wants your husband or wife to become (especially married couples know the “cruel truth” that there is neither Prince Charming nor Snow White, but in fairytales).

You will be reminded each day of how precious you actually are in the eyes of God and that will make the task much easier for you as your spouse will not rely on you for his/her self-esteem. The main problem with many people comes from their low self esteem, it not only brings them down but it will surely affect their marriage too.

Forgiveness is another precious jewel you can receive trough prayer and oh, if your partner is breathing…it means you are likely to be offended; that’s why forgiving is also crucial.

Above them all, the infinite love of Love itself-God, will be poured in your hearts and your joy of living will be continually refreshed by His Holy Spirit living inside you.

These are solid secrets of a happy marriage: love and respect each other and pray every day!

Articles, tagged with “divorce rate”, page 1

29th April 2013

According to Maria Montessori, lucrative two phases regarding a child’s absorbent mind. This birthday party means you and your family and friends which coming to “ooh” and “aah” throughout your wonderful one-year-old! Twiddling with puppets helps kids def… Read > Author: april lowe

04th October 2012

The total percent that marriages end up in divorce is actually close to 40% and is closer to what the stream median claims as 50%. A total of 37% of marriages ends up in divorce in the year 2004 and it increased to 1% in 2005. All states in the US are … Read > Author: WeBuyHousesFlorida

16th July 2011

Nobody is much more vulnerable than when they’re going by way of an emotional crisis, including when their marriage or other long term relationship has broken apart. Life appears pointless, function too significantly effort and socializing a nightmare. If… Read > Author: johnbruce

15th June 2011

You can read more tips online on Polish women to learn more about them. Generally, Polish girls in Poland and other Western nations are beautiful and honest. They register their personal ads on the net to find a long-term relationship. If you really want … Read > Author: Trent Mccullough

21st February 2011

As of 2008, an estimated 40% of marriages end up in divorce courts yearly. Compared to Asian and some European countries, this is considerably high. The percentage or divorce rate America even climbs up for second and third marriages. There are many possi… Read > Author: mcwest

16th September 2010

Married couples get separated for many reasons. In movies, the reasons could be more severe than in reality but all the same, there are married couples who bring their marriage to a fiasco. Divorce is an agreed upon decision, which means both parties com… Read > Author: Mitchel Pennington

05th August 2010

The number of Russian dating sites on the net have boomed over the last decade. This leads to the obvious question: do Russian women avoid dating men from their own country or is this a scam? The answer is no to both questions. Russian women love the men … Read > Author: Michael Small

25th June 2010

The divorce rate is so large that some folks are afraid to get married inside the very first location. They imagine there is no point due to the fact most with the individuals they know are obtaining divorced – some even just a handful of years after sayi… Read > Author: kayla

29th January 2010

If your marriage is suffering from the amount of debt you are under, you aren’t alone. Debt has become one of the biggest causes of marital problems-and no doubt contributes to the ever-growing divorce rate. Luckily, the bankruptcy lawyers in Missouri and… Read > Author: JamesBrown

14th December 2009

The Magic of Making Up is a popular e book for “how to get back with you ex”. Does it actually work? WHAT IS THE IDEA BEHIND THE BOOK? T.W. Jackson is the writer of the Magic of Making Up. Jackson is an average man who lived among many cultures worl… Read > Author: Ken Aurelia

14th December 2009

The Magic of Making Up is a popular guide for “how to get back with you ex”. Does it really work? WHAT IS THE BASIC IDEA BEHIND THE MAGIC OF MAKING UP? T.W. Jackson is the writer of the Magic of Making Up. Jackson is an average man who lived… Read > Author: Sam Gunnarson

23rd November 2009

The rate at which people divorce varies from country to country. However, gathering of divorce statistics from different countries is difficult because some countries do not release their official records. Nevertheless, most divorce records show the fig… Read > Author: bernaabonita

30th July 2009

Remodeling a kitchen can be fun or a disaster; I once heard the divorce rate during kitchen remodels is high! Living without a kitchen can be more than an inconvenience, it can be painful.So whether you are a man or a woman, single or married, here are so… Read > Author: Greg Dennely

19th December 2008

Here’s a “will we get back together quiz” that’s only three questions. 1) When you feel like calling your ex, do you do it? 2) Do you share your emotions with your ex? 3) Do you believe in expressing your feelings openly and honestly at all times? If y… Read > Author: rrrbert

05th November 2008

Marriage statistics are very vital to any country. This is because they will help judge the actual situation on the ground as we anaylze what people have been up to in this regard. They will help the government recognize potential problems and society wil… Read > Author: Francis K Githinji

What Effect Does a High Divorce Rate Have on Society?

The main ones include emancipation of women through equal opportunities for education and jobs, rise of individualism, relaxed divorce laws, changing attitude of the society toward divorced people and relaxed social mores and customs.

Though divorce at an individual level is a liberating factor for estranged couples, the problem arises when the divorce rate becomes too high and people begin to see it as a quick and easy way out of their marriages. An abnormally high divorce rate is not good for the society at all. A generation down the line, it will have serious social consequences, some of which are given below.

Missing Parent

A divorce splits the family right down the middle. One parent, usually the father, has to pack his or her bags and move out of the house. Children are then forced to live with one parent while the other parent gets only visitation rights. The family becomes lopsided. The single parent has to juggle both job as well as domestic duties, and is unable to give the kind of upbringing and attention that should be given to the children for their healthy growth.

Single-parent upbringing with the permanent absence of one parent creates serious psychological problems for boys as well as girls. Such children when they grow up are unable to have stable and secure relationships and often become confused about their gender, that is, if a boy has been brought up by the mother, he will develop some soft and feminine qualities.

Increased Delinquency

Children of divorce suffer from stress, anxiety and depression in their childhood. These feelings often persist well into adulthood. There is a very high probability of such children becoming involved in cases of petty crimes such as theft, muggings and financial misdemeanours.

Boys who come from divorced families have a much higher probability of ending up in jail compared to those who hail from intact and loving families. A major reason for this is that boys are often brought up by divorced mothers and thus are unable to benefit from the supervision and discipline imposed by the father.

Leads to a Generation of Under-achievers

Children of divorce, because of the anxiety and stress prevailing at their homes, are unable to concentrate on their studies because they suffer from a short attention span. They soon start lagging behind in studies and are not able to make the grade academically, even though they may be much more intelligent and sharp than others.

This lack of academic achievement haunts them for the rest of their lives and impacts their careers negatively. Children of divorce turn out to be chronic under-achievers and lead a frustrated life because they know they are capable of doing much better.

Bad for Adults

Divorce is bad for adults. Marriage is a very close relationship that provides solid emotional support and comfort. You get to be intimate with another individual and share all your secrets with your spouse. You are duty-bound to come to each other’s assistance when in need and provide a shoulder to lean on whenever your husband or wife is feeling low and depressed.

People who divorce deprive themselves of the support offered by the marital relationship. They suffer from the trauma of divorce and may slip into a chronic depression. This affects the success of their future relationships since they may develop a feeling deep down within them that their partners just cannot be trusted. People bitten by divorce may take to alcoholism and even attempt suicide. Worse, if they have children, the latter suffer too with them and may also develop many psychological problems.

Bad for Girls

Parental divorce is especially bad for girls who are much softer and more vulnerable in their mental makeup than boys. They start skipping school and look for an escape from their stress and anxiety in romantic relationships. They also develop low self-esteem. Many become teenage mothers and are saddled with the burden of rearing children at a young age.

Bad Treatment of Stepchildren

When parents get divorced, it is quite a traumatic experience for the children. When the former get remarried, the kids suffer even more. Research shows that stepchildren are mistreated and physically and emotionally abused much more than children in intact families. Such abuse leaves deep scars on the minds of the children and distorts their personalities permanently.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see

No Fault Divorce is it Good for New York

The state of New York has become the last state in the union to sign no fault divorce into law; this now allows couples to get divorced without having to prove any wrongdoing or abuse. Before the passing of this law couples would need to be separated for a year and one side had to be at fault, causing many people to make up stories of wrongdoing or abuse. Now with this law being passed a couple can get a divorce without having to find fault in either party. Of course as with any change comes controversy, is making divorce easier fair to women, will it increase divorce rates, will any good come out of it?

Many women groups have expressed a great deal of concern over the new law changes claiming that it would be harmful to most women. The reason for this is the no fault option would leave many women who are not the main bread winner in their household without any bargaining power during the process. These concerns that the more moneyed spouse would hide assets and income prior to divorce proceedings and then rush through the divorce leaving the other party without the money its due and while this may have been true decades ago in this day and age of two income families it is not as cut and dry. Money issues aside there have been many studies that have found some good news for women. In research done in states that have adopted similar laws to that of New York have found that domestic violence has decreased after adopting these laws, it was also found that women were less likely to commit suicide when they were able to leave their marriages unilaterally.

There have been many opponents of the no fault divorce that claim an almost certain increase in divorce rates and being that it generally ranks among the lowest so that fear of increase could be very real. Massachusetts which has the lowest divorce rate in the United States has had a no fault divorce law passed since 1975. This is attributed to a couple of reasons, first is it has a high population of highly educated people who tend to not marry young which is a major contributor to divorce. Second it also has a high population of catholic people who despite changes in society still do not divorce at the rate of the rest of society. New York state has both of these they have a high population of highly educated people and a high population of Catholics. So after the most likely initial surge in divorce, it should settle down and continue to be among the lowest divorce rate in America.

With so much publicity given the no fault divorce law passing in New York and the upheaval that it might cause we must remember that it was passed in all the other states and they still manage to move on. What needs to be concentrated on is the issues that lead to divorce and educate people so that they understand the consequences of their actions.


The REAL cost of divorce

Divorce in many cases is becoming a fast route to poverty.

Not only does divorce often bring a severe heartbreak that can take a vast time to heal. Research shows that people are not healing from divorce.

> The 2nd marriage divorce rate is 53%

> 3rd marriage divorce rate is 72% and

> 4th marriage divorce rate is 84%

Each year about 1.2 million couples get divorced in the US vs 120,000 in the UK, costing taxpayers an estimated $30 billion in Federal and state expenditures (Schramm, 2006).

Each divorce costs society about $25,000 to $30,000 because of the increase in costs of supporting people with housing, food stamps, bankruptcies, problems with youth and other related expenses.

The effect on Children when parents go through a divorce is shocking and should not be dismissed.

In a study of 3,500 children whose parents have divorced. Between the children’s first and third grade, they scored lower in math and had poorer interpersonal skills than those whose parents stayed married.

At high school level, children from intact families have significantly better test scores, compared to children of divorced parents. One example in the study was that by the age of 13 there is an average difference of half a year in the reading ability between children of divorced parents and children from intact families.

Other research cited included a study that found children from divorced families were 26% more likely to drop out of secondary school compared to children brought up in intact families. Moreover, even if a divorced parent re-married this did not remove the negative impact of the initial divorce on children’s academic results.

The divorce penalty extends up to college. Fagan and Churchill reported one study that found only 33% of students from divorced families graduate from college, compared to 40% of those from intact families.

Where children have experienced several break-ups they are ten times as likely to have severe behavioural problems. The emotional damage is long lasting. In late middle age they are still more likely to have major breakdowns than those from stable homes.

This should be a motivation to LEARN from past relationships and see where you can change and never rush into a relationship. Correct healing is VITAL, so that second and/or third marriages don’t fall into a repeat pattern creating a vicious cycle of a broken generation.

Failing relationships cost, for everyone involved. Stress and Trauma is a very serious and a growing issue in work places. People unable to function at work, under so much stress that loss of concentration and lack of confidence becomes evident.

Stress affects one in five of the working population. It is now the single biggest cause of sickness in the UK.

Over 105 million days are lost to stress each year costing UK employers £1.24 billion. But If you leave healing too long, you can really become seriously traumatised and not be able to work for an even longer period of time. Lack of proper support and Lack of appreciation of how big the trauma is, consequently knocks self esteem and confidence.

So what is the REAL COST OF DIVORCE that sometimes gets swept under the rug?

And what are the REAL and CORRECT ways to handle these situations?

Being Educated in the real cost of Divorce is a great step to understanding the most effective and healthy ways to prevent these disturbing Statistics from growing.

Till next time!

Lots of hugs


Adèle Théron – Author, Change specialist, Family Mediator and Divorce Angel – has an 11 year career in helping people cope with change. She started off in the corporate world helping people adapt to new situations and experiences created by mergers, acquisitions and large software implementations. The change techniques she created have helped thousands of people in 18 global companies worldwide. When she herself experienced a divorce in 2009, she realised that no structured processes existed to help people cope with divorce and she used her change management techniques to develop a revolutionary systemized process called the naked divorce for healing from divorce within 21 steps. Adèle has worked with professional men, women and couples as a family mediator, divorce coach and divorce program trainer, helping people heal from break ups, separations and divorce. Today countless people depend on her process to help them heal from divorce.

Does legalizing gay marriage lower divorce rates?

Nate Silver over at has a new post up with data about the divorce rate change in states and the legal status of gay marriage in each state. The results are quite surprising.

Nate takes data from the years 2003-2008, taking the divorce rates in each of those years and calculating the change.


According to Nate:

“As is somewhat visually apparent, those states which have tended to take more liberal policies toward gay marriage have tended also to have larger declines in their divorce rates. In Massachusetts, which legalized gay marriage in 2004, the divorce rate has declined by 21 percent and is the lowest in the country by some margin. It is joined at the top of the list by Rhode Island and New Mexico, which do not perform same-sex marriages but idiosyncratically also have no statute or constitutional provision expressly forbidding them, as well as Maine, whose legislature approved same-sex marriage only to have it overturned (although not banned constitutionally) by its voters.On the other hand, the seven states at the bottom of the chart all had constitutional prohibitions on same-sex marriage in place throughout 2008. The state which experienced the highest increase in its divorce rate over the period (Alaska, at 17.2 percent) also happens to be the first one to have altered its constitution to prohibit same-sex marriage, in 1998.”

Overall, states which enacted a constitutional ban on marriage experienced a 0.9% increase in the divorce rate, while states without a constitutional ban saw an average 8.0% decrease.

So does gay marriage lower the divorce rate? As Nate says, these differences are highly statistically significant, although correlation does not imply causation. There are other variables and data to analyze before coming to a hard conclusion based on this study.

Specifically, I would like to know:

1) What is the normal rate change for the divorce rate in a 5-year span? I would guess that the divorce rate is fairly constant and not highly variable, as some of these changes suggest, but individual states might see fluctuations due to a number of other factors.

2) What are other factors that could influence the divorce rate aside from the legal status of gay marriage in each state?

However Nate’s study does make arguments along the lines of “gay marriage will weaken the institution of marriage” appear to lack any actual evidence to support them.

What do you think about this data?

Name Change After Divorce Tips

It is possible to legally change the name of a woman after a divorce. However many people do not worry much about changing their names as there are many other things to consider. But if a woman really wants to change her name it is possible.

Also it is true that changing your name to your maiden name helps a woman to return to her former self. Generally women find it difficult to adjust with the divorce at least for some time. The name change is a good step towards the acceptance and recovery from divorce. So the name change after divorce is a positive thing for many women. These are the benefits attached to the name change after divorce.

A woman can include the request for changing her name in the divorce papers. This is convenient compared to going for a change later. Name change after divorce is up to the woman. Although it is not necessary, if a woman wants it, it is easily possible. If this is not done as above you will have to file another request for it. This will be difficult and so it is better to finish everything in one step.

Once you have changed your name you will have to change your name on your driving license. It is also necessary to change the name of an employee legally. You will have to change the name in other documents like bank documents etc. The copy of the judgement will include the change of name also. This has to be collected from the office of the court’s clerk.

Do not forget to inform everybody you know about the change. One important thing regarding name change after divorce is answering to different people. Those people who know you only by the name you used before the divorce may take sometime to get familiarised with the change. You have to be well- prepared to answer those questions.

Another thing regarding name change after divorce is to convince your children. This is not a big task but you have to do it carefully. Just tell them about the change as simply as you can. If you tell them directly it will avoid many problems.

It is better to stick to your old name after divorce as this may avoid a lot of complications that can arise if you wish to adapt a new name. Nowadays it is possible to change the name of the children also but this is possible only if the court realises that it will not have negative effects on the child. Name change after divorce for a child is easier nowadays compared to old times.

Generally the judges consider several facts before deciding on a name change for children when their parents are granted divorce. These facts include the time period when the name of the father was used by the child, the relationship between mother and child etc. This is to ensure that the change of name will not affect the child.

Noteworthy UK Divorce Trends and Developments

Divorce trends and statistics are always a popular topic of discussion for those who are interested in the state of society and relationships. Each year the figures for marriage and divorce in England and the UK in general are eagerly dissected to see if trends can be discerned and predictions can be made about the future. The latest statistics, produced by the Office for National Statistics (ONS), estimate that 42% of marriages in England and Wales will end in divorce and that the average marriage will last 32 years. Looking in more detail the ONS has calculated that 34% of marriages will end in divorce by the 20th wedding anniversary and 16% will reach the 60th wedding anniversary. The total number of divorces each year has continued in a downward trend since 2004. In 2010 there were 119,589 divorces in England and Wales and in 2011 there were 117,558 (as an interesting point of reference, in 1901 there were 512 divorces). So, what trends and patterns have different researchers and experts put forward after examining the divorce statistics?

One of the key trends in divorce in England and Wales is that the first ten years of marriage are the most turbulent. According to the ONS the greatest proportion of divorces occur among couples that are in their first decade of marriage. The probability of getting divorced by the next wedding anniversary increases rapidly in the first 5 years of marriage and the chance of divorce is greatest between the 4th and 8th wedding anniversaries. These findings do lend some weight to the idea of the ‘seven year itch’.

The first decade of marriage has the greatest chance of divorce but also sees the most change. Divorce rates and trends are very consistent and predictable after the first ten years. If there is a change in the overall divorce rate it is usually due to fluctuations in the divorce habits of those in their first decade of marriage. Many experts have pointed out that the divorce rates for those who have passed their 10th wedding anniversary have remained much the same since the 1960s. The risk of divorce tails off with 1 in 5 divorces taking place after 20 years and 1/100 after 40 years – and has remained almost unchanged.

Much has been made of the rise of the ‘silver-splitters’ in recent years. This term describes the rise in the number of couples over 60 years old who are getting divorced. In 2001 4.6% of males getting divorced and 2.6% of females were aged 60 and over. In just ten years that proportion has almost doubled with 8% of males and 5% of females who are 60 and over getting divorced.

There are many underlying factors that arguably contribute to this ‘phenomenon’ The average age of people getting married has increased, meaning that it is possible many people in their 60s have only been married for around 25 years, and therefore have a higher risk of divorce than if they had been married for 40 years. Others have suggested that there is a greater life expectancy and ‘lust for life’ among people in this age group than ever before – retirement brings the opportunity to evaluate how they want to live their lives. Relationships can also falter when ‘empty nest syndrome’ occurs – children have grown up and left home and retirement is looming – and strain is put on the marriage.

When looking at divorce trends many people are looking at wider factors that may be affecting the divorce rates. Some experts have looked at the effect of cohabitation on divorce. It has previously been suggested that couples who live together before they get married are more likely to get divorced, but this may not be true. Cohabitation, i.e. living with a partner without being married to them, used to be frowned upon and was seen as unacceptable. As times have changed attitudes towards cohabitation have also evolved and increasing numbers of people are choosing to cohabit.

The amount of people cohabiting in the UK was 5.9 million in 2012 (double the amount in 1996). It has been put forward that, instead of ‘competing’ with marriage, cohabitation can be seen as promoting marriage. The fall in the divorce rate in those still in the first decade of marriage could be attributed to the prominence of cohabitation. It has been suggested that cohabitation can cause more unstable and fragile relationships to break down before the couple marry, meaning that the couples that do go on to marry after cohabiting are less likely to divorce.

In terms of slightly less serious research, the Marriage Foundation, a think-tank that focuses on family and relationships, has found that celebrities are twice as likely to get divorced than the rest of the UK population. The Marriage Foundation tracked 572 celebrity couples who have got married since 2000. The findings showed that after ten years of marriage, the divorce rate for celebrities is 40% while the rate for the rest of the UK population is half that, at 20%. The Marriage Foundation has also looked at whether having a pet is the sign of a long lasting marriage. According to the think-tank, couples choosing to take on a pet shows a more active sign of commitment and therefore a potentially reduced risk of divorce. Taking on a dog or cat can be seen as a ‘dedication commitment’ while having a child, in some cases, can be seen as a ‘constraint commitment’ – the former being more conducive to a successful relationship.

© Izzy Evans 2013

If you would like to find out more about the divorce process then you can visit a legal firm that specialises in family law, such as Lester Aldridge.

Divorce Rate in the United States

Above 50% of the marriages in the United States are said to end up in divorce. Statistics have also shown that many other growing countries have the same high divorce rate. It appears that people have been so accustomed to the on-the-go services offered by fast-food chains or supermarkets that some of us today consider that marriages are also “disposable”.

Even though couples were bound by a traditional marriage where they had pledged to love each other forever or “until death do us part“, this union seems to become a lot more meaningless nowadays.

Normally, public figures such as celebrities, athletes, politicians and entertainers are the ones who are often involved in a divorce.

When it comes to careers, policemen have the highest rates of divorce. This is because of the following: A dangerous job, authoritative uniform, badge and guns attract the opposite gender. But soon after the policeman’s partner becomes aware of the danger and the hurricane-like life with his kind of profession, it ends up with divorce.

Nearly half of the first marriages in the US and some other countries like Russia, UK, New Zealand, Denmark, Australia and Canada ended in divorce. Add to that, two-thirds of second marriages end and three-quarters of third marriages are annulled.

Does it mean that marriage has just become a tradition –without thinking the reasons behind it? Is divorce the only answer to husbands and wives who suffer problems and differences on their marriage?

It appears that people nowadays do not believe in the power of marriage. This is shown by the number of couples who choose not to get married but instead have a civil union –which can also be referred to as a registered partnership. What the couple does not know with this form of relationship is that the losing end here are the children.

When couples are having problems with their relationship, people may think that it is because of the husband or wife. Sometimes, it roots back from the family background of both parties. If a child grows in a broken family or with parents who physically/verbally abuse each other, he or she has a high possibility of being uninterested towards commitment.

Another factor we can look at is religion. If a person doesn’t believe in a deity — specifically in Christianity– then there is no meaning to the marriage vows. It’s just like reciting a poem and forgetting it in time.

On the other hand, there is a 40% less divorce rate for married couples who already have children –significantly low compared with couples who have none. But let us not overlook the kids from those broken marriages. They can become an addition to the future divorce rates since they will grow up thinking that it’s okay for a couple to separate because his or her family is like that. How can they be informed about the consequences of marriage if at their young age, they have also become a victim of it?

Remember that one-third of the children out there came from broken families. First divorce happens at the age of 33, which is also the average age of people with children. For children, this is the time when parental guidance and influence is essential.

Even if you will be assisting your children financially or you will be visiting them every now and then, there is always a big difference between growing in a complete and attached family than a broken home. Broken homes do not have the emotional stability that can support a child as he or she grows up.

Divorce and the lack of belief in marriage vows are just a few of the issues our society is currently facing. Several people marry their partners just for the sake of marrying them and because they know divorce is there if things don’t work out well.

If starting and ending a marriage is just as simple as ABC today, then think of how many casual partners our kids will have in the future. How can we tell that we’re different from those animals who do not have a permanent partner?

Female chimps can have more than one partner –and have children from each of them. Since her current mate cannot determine which baby is his, he takes full responsibility for all the babies. A genuine trait that even a human will find hard to do.

Let us say that you’re not really a religious person, this doesn’t excuse you from giving value to your marriage. If you really value, love and care for your spouse, these should be enough grounds for you to think twice and fix things up rather than seek divorce. Also, faithfulness and respect for the vows you have made in front of the church and to each other will enlighten you with an intense meaning of what marriage is all about.

Marriage is not meant for people whose aim is to have a comfortablelife or to get a partner who will provide his or her needs. It is always a work in progress that requires effort from both parties.