Helping those in need with your divorce issues today

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Teens views: Survival guide for teens caught in divorce

One thing that you should remember and it’s an important one. You are not the reason for your parents going through a divorce. You need to remember that you are loved and your parents still love and care for you. Some times when people get divorced from each other. They make a better parent. Then later on in life they both may make great friends. When you feel like your parents are putting you in the middle. Let them know how you feel. If you are scared to let them know. Talk to someone you can trust. Even if it’s your teacher after school or a councilor during school hours. You are affected by this as much as your parents. You have feelings and they should be heard. Plus this will make you feel better inside and out. It’s all right to cry and get mad. Just remember when you feel mad and want to hit something. Hit your bed or your pillow. Don’t hurt yourself in any way. That will not bring your parents back to one another. All they will do is blame the other parent for what you have done.

Another thing you can do is this: Take a walk with the parent you are with. Let your parent know how you feel. Let him or her know how it is affect you in school. Some times they will let you know. But if your parent doesn’t want to tell you why because he or she is still upset. Don’t push the subject. Just like you. They also need time to cool down and rethink everything. If you have younger brothers or sisters. Take your time out to talk to them. They will also need support from you. Let them also know that they are not to be blamed for what is going on. Sometimes a group hug works. Because it makes you feel better to know that you are loved not only by your parents but also by your brothers or sisters. They also look up to you. Some times you may never know this until you are out on your own. Your brothers or sisters may look up to you as their hero.

When you find your parents putting you in the middle of things. Example: One parent is in one side of the room and the other parent is in another part on the room. Don’t talk for your parents. Even if you want to. The best thing you can do is go outside and take a walk. But let your parents know you need to take a walk. Because you don’t want to be put in the middle of their problems. If your parents said: ” I need you for support.” Let your parent know that you are there to support him or her. But you will not talk for them. But say it in a nice way. Let them know that they have friends they can call if they need someone to talk for them. Never take sides because later on in life you will worse. Remember that you are only a teen and you don’t have all the answers. No one does when it comes to this. But I can tell you how my teens feel about going through a divorce. And it’s not easy. Your parents are divorcing each other. They are not divorcing you.

Remember that you have a lot of people that care and love you. They know you are going through a hard time in life. They are there if you need a shoulder to cry on and to let everything out. Don’t keep it bottled up. It will tare you apart. If you feel that you have no one to talk to or just can’t get out the words. Write it down. Then hand it to someone you can trust like a teacher and a councilor at school. Let him or her know that the letter you wrote is how you are feeling. If you put down that you want to hurt yourself. Let them know that you don’t want to hurt yourself, so you wrote it down on paper. Maybe he or she can give you more things you can do for yourself. Just remember you are not to blame for what your parents are doing. Also there are a lot of people that care and love you for how you are.

http://www.helium.com/items/1378934-you-are-not-alone

How To Have A Girl Into You In Only One Interaction

I’m sure you’ve heard a lot of things about how to have a girl into. Ads even go as far as what cologne to wear and how you should sit down when talking to a girl. To me these have a lot of incongruity. What does sitting down a certain a way and the cologne or pheromones you have on make a difference? It’s actually make zero difference. In this article, I’m going to lay down some key techniques and beliefs that you can really get down on how to have a girl into you

How to Have a Girl Into You #1

The Alpha Mindest:

This is so important for how to have a girl into you. Why? Because women need to see you demonstrate key personality traits about yourself before they can decide that you’re a suitable partner for them. Consciously or unconsciously, that’s just how women work! They usually don’t just fall head over heals for a guy just by looking at him.

Now what is the key thing that involves this? It’s really simple. Get the girl you’re attracted to off the pedestal you put her on. She’s not special, she’s not better than you and you shouldn’t be graveling at her feet. Women sense this immediately and it literally repels them.

How to Have a Girl Into You #2

Playful Dominance:

This is they key technique that I wanted to demonstrate to you on how to have a girl into you. It’s pretty simple and involves two parts of you that you have to combine. First, being dominant. This is involves things like leading girls, being persistent (but not needy), always being the one to make decisions and of course executing them. I’m telling you, if you want to learn how to have a girl into you, you better start finding that part of you. The second method is Playfulness. Women love this because it shows them that you can make a fun situation out of anything and make them laugh, and that’s exactly what it involves. You just have to ask yourself “How can I make this situation fun?” and you can achieve this. The old serious James Bond look at the bar just won’t cut it anymore if you want to learn how to have a girl melting in your arms. making her laugh is one of the keys to this.

So we saw how having the right mindset, and by being both sexy dominant and funny playful gets women attracted to you fast and you’ll have no trouble on how to have a girl’s number and even a date later on. Remember to take action, because when it comes to down to how to have a girl into you, you need to take action and you need to take it fast to see results.

http://www.streetarticles.com/dating/how-to-have-a-girl-into-you-in-only-one-interaction

Modern Male Dysfunction

I check in on the female friendly world of Shine from Yahoo! from time to time, just so I can keep the rest of the male world up to date on what’s being said over there. This week I ran across an excellent article from Brendan Tapley called 10 Things Men Wish Women Knew About Them.

While this article is meant for women, men should read it too. But please restrain the urge to tweet it to your significant other. Things like that only make them mad, like you’re telling them how to think. They hate that.

She’ll just have to discover it on her own. The best you can do is to "accidentally" leave it in your laptop’s browser (when you politely get up to get your own beer). You know, kind of like when our parents left sex education information strategically "hidden" around the house, knowing we would find it…or was that just my family?

I love Brendan’s article. It provides great clues to help women decipher men these days, and in many cases he’s dealing ever so gently with MMD, or what I like to call Modern Male Dysfunction.

For example, Thing 2, "We Are Brutally Honest Because We Care," holds that guys these days can be described by any four-letter word except tact. One might argue that a better remedy than persuading women that this is a virtue might be, oh I don’t know, maybe LEARN TACT. But that isn’t the male reality that obtains these days.

Thing 3, "You Should Appreciate Our Reliability" urges kudos from women for a guy who "demonstrates his commitment to you by showing up." Most would agree standards have slipped a bit if this is the gold standard.

Thing 6, "Be the Boss in the Bedroom," on the other hand, is universally good advice. Brendan is right, we have never enjoyed asking for directions.

Photo Credit: AskMen.com

 

Todd Wright is author of Todd Wright Now (http://toddwrightnow.blogspot.com/), a blog about spiritual awakening. A retired naval officer and attorney, he lives in Lexington, Kentucky.

Todd Wright’s author pageAuthor’s Blog

Children and Divorce

A recent statistic shows that almost half of all marriages end in divorce. Divorce is difficult for everyone involved, but maybe the hardest on children. Most often they experience many feelings that they do not understand. They go through a range of emotions and need their parents to understand. If you are going through a divorce getting to understand how your children are dealing with it is important.

When parents divorce they often put their children in the center of arguments and a game of emotional tug of war. To avoid this sort of thing parents need to work together. Even though their marriage is over they are still parents together. The child needs to understand many things about the divorce. Parents need to keep in touch with their children and understand the many feelings they may be having. Older children, especially, can go through periods where they act out as a way to cope with the divorce. Many times children feel the divorce is their fault. They may worry about the future and how to deal with other events, like parent’s day at school. Both parents need to show the children that they can work together and not fight. At the same time it is important to let the children know that you are not getting back together. Establishing some sort of family structure is a necessity to help children get back to “normal”.

Children will react different depending on their age. The following list explains a little about each age group and how they react to divorce.

Age 3-5: Regression to a more infantile state, problems sleeping, fear of separation

Age 6-8: Fantasies of parents getting back together, open emotions

Age 8-11: Anger, treat one parent as good the other as bad, take a caregiver role

Age 12-18: Depression, violent actions, judgmental of parents, develop anxiety about own relationships

Learning to help your children cope through divorce is possible the most important step in the divorce process. Children have no choice in the matter and may feel completely left out if their feelings are not recognized.

Jeanette Pollock is a freelance author and website owner. She publishes articles and reports in various ezines and also contributes on a regular basis to FreeNetPublishing.com [http://www.freenetpublishing.com].

Reflections: How marriage and divorce affect children

It is widely known that divorce is hard on everyone involved, including children of divorcees. There is some disagreement, however, on the degree of harm that divorce does to children. Today, I want to discuss two opposing views on the effects of divorce on children. First, I will give a brief summary of the two views. Then I will highlight the differences. Finally, I will talk about their similarities.

The first viewpoint I would like to discuss is that of Judith S. Wallerstein. Wallerstein wrote a book titled “The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A Twenty-Five Year Landmark Study. In it, she claims divorce is “devastating to most children and that the effects are long lasting.” According to Wallerstein, children with divorced parents suffer more depression, more substance abuse, lower grades, and are more likely to need psychological help than children from intact families. She says that the real impact, however, hits them when they become adults. Without a model of a loving, stable relationship, they don’t have the background to find or maintain one themselves. Wallerstein argues that we as a society need to examine our views on divorce and change them to benefit the children. She does concede that sometimes divorce may be necessary, such as in instances with abuse. But she also claims that “even a bad marriage might be better for kids than divorce.” (Atlas, pp.1-2) Countering this opinion is research conducted by E. Mavis Heatherington. In her book, “For Better or Worse: Divorce Reconsidered,” She found that most children of divorce do not have significant long-term damage and function well as adults. She does concede that 20-25% of children of divorce do have serious problems, but we tend to focus on this small amount of negativity when we should be focusing on the overwhelming majority of cases that are positive. (Corliss, pp. 1-2) Other than their obvious difference of opinion, the research methods of Wallerstein and Heatherington were also vastly different. Wallerstein studied 60 children for 25 years in Marin County, California. Her methods involved thousands of hours of interviews with the children throughout their lives. This is a very subjective look at the subjects, but gives us an in-depth look at the emotional impact of divorce on children. (Saposnek, p. 1) Heatherington, on the other hand, took at objective look at more than 2,500 children over a span of thirty years. She never talked to any of the kids. Instead, she looked at their records and

http://www.helium.com/items/438579-how-marriage-and-divorce-effect-children

The Effects of Divorce on Your Children

Divorce is hard on the entire family. It is just as tough, if not more so, for a child to go through a divorce than it is for you or your spouse. The separation of their parents can have a lasting result on not only their emotions, but on their personalities. If you are overly sensitive about what your spouse says or does with your child, then your child will learn to use your spouse to pit you against one another. “Mom told me I could do this” “Dad told me I couldn’t say that”. It not only teaches the child to be manipulative, but it also makes your relationship with your ex so much harder. There must be open communication between the two parents. As much as you may resent each other, you need to remain civil in front of your children and when it comes to their well being. There should be no fighting over who takes your son to his first day of kindergarten. There is no reason you can’t both be there. You’re adults and if you’re old enough to be married and get a divorce, you’re old enough to behave yourselves in front of your children. It is important for not only their well being, but for yours as well. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life having petty arguments with your ex.

Shielding your Kids from your Divorce

Shielding your children from divorce does not mean covering up your feelings and hiding the reasons for the separation. That will only make things worse for your kids. It means to shield them from the effects the divorce can have on them. Talking to your children about your divorce is monumentally important to their emotional well-being. No matter how careful you are, divorce will have a life-long effect on your babies. Talking to them about it, as uncomfortable as it may be, will allow them to grow up without being afraid to fall in love and get married themselves. Children with divorced parents are often afraid of marriage and divorce and even having kids of their own because they have already experienced the profound effect of family separation on their life and the lives of those they love. They will even blame themselves for you getting the divorce. That is another reason it is so completely important to talk to them. Make sure they know without a doubt that the divorce was between you and your spouse and that they had nothing to do with it. Ensure that they’re aware that you both love them very much and that will never change.

Keep Up Appearances for your Babies’ Sake

It is also important to never put your spouse down in front of the kids. No matter what s/he has done to you or said about you, their image means the world to your child. Just as your does. Talking bad about your spouse will only cause your children to have to pick sides. No child should ever have to choose between their mother and father. Even if your spouse cheated on you and you did nothing wrong, take equal blame. “Mommy and Daddy made some mistakes and we hurt each other’s feelings” is a much better way to tell your child why you’re getting a divorce. That way the child can understand that grownups make mistakes too and they won’t have to feel like they’re betraying one of you to still love the other. If they want to know the whole story once they’re adults, it’s fine to tell them then, but again, tell it as objectively as possible. You can still be a happy family even if you live in two places instead of one.

Divorce is not easy and it’s not fun, but If it’s the choice you and/or your spouse has made, you need to make sure you go about it the right way to save your children a lot of mental and emotional damage. Treat your spouse with respect in front of the children, no matter how you’re feeling inside and talk with your kids and let them know that you’re both at fault and you both still love them. Your children are the most important things in your life once your spouse is gone. Don’t cause resentment and hurt feelings, love them the way they deserve to be loved.

You can hire an experienced separation & family divorce lawyer in Brisbane or anywhere else for a smooth divorce process, so that it doesn’t affect your children. Click here to find out more.

Rock-‘n-Roll, Drugs, Divorce and Diversity — Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing Spring 2012 Releases

Deadwood, OR (PRWEB) May 01, 2012

Independent publisher Wyatt-MacKenzie is all sex, drugs, rock-‘n-roll, and race relations this Spring with a richly diverse crop of books, awards, and eBooks for May 2012.

  • - SPRING 2012 – -

THE CHALK CIRCLE, Tara L. Masih’s collection of intercultural prizewinning essays launches Friday, May 4, 7:00pm, at Books Inc. on Van Ness in San Francisco. Masih will lead a reading with essayists Li Miao Lovett, Toshi Washizu, Lyzette Wanzer, Samuel Autman, Tilia Klebenov Jacobs, and Gretchen Brown Wright. Tori Grant-Welhouse reviews in Her Circle magazine, “THE CHALK CIRCLE is intelligently and thoughtfully compiled, unified by a belief in writing to further our comprehension of what can (or should) define us, as individuals and as a global culture.” Read more of this comprehensive review: bit

New York Times bestselling author and political comedian Lewis Black called DEAR DAD, IT’S OVER "A must-read for any divorced parent or any child who has had to go through it.” Touring across the country in clubs and colleges, comedian and actor M Dickson opened last month for Kathleen Madigan who wrote about M’s book, “It made me think.” ForeWord Reviews states, “Her ability to articulate her feelings will be helpful for teens or young adults going through similar circumstances, but the book would also be a good choice for divorced parents of young children. As Dickson’s experiences prove, sometimes the emotions surrounding a divorce cloud the judgment of those involved, and the book could offer some reminders to parents and caretakers.” Read this review: bit

When acquisitions editor Lisa Pliscou saw Matt Bellace’s book, A BETTER HIGH, she knew it would fit perfectly on Wyatt-MacKenzie’s roster (the publishing company celebrates its 14th year in 2012 and Wyatt, MacKenzie, and Lisa’s son Max, have all become teenagers!). Bellace speaks to over a hundred thousand students a year on how to pursue natural highs and make healthy choices. A recurring comedian on truTV’s "The World’s Dumbest," his stand up can be heard on Sirius XM’s Comedy Channels.

“THIS ROCK IN MY HEART is chick lit for rocker moms, not soccer moms!” reviews Sandy King Carpenter, a writer and film producer. Every girl who ever went to Hollywood with stars in her eyes will wish she were walking in Tommie Vaughn’s character’s shoes, or more precisely, her turquoise snakeskin cowboy boots, as she pursues her dream. Rock-‘n-Roll journalist Lonn Friend describes, “deeply heartfelt, invites the audience into the sacred space of an artist, it gives you a laugh, a tear, a wise crack and a woody.” Vaughn’s indie band, Wall of Tom, is also releasing a new album alongside the book. Legendary singer/songwriter, author/publisher Henry Rollins says of the first single, “a well written, performed and meant song, free of cynicism. Rare in these times."

All new titles are available in paperback, and on iBook, Kindle and Nook.

  • - NEWLY AVAILABLE as EBOOKS – -

A SUBURBAN MOM: Notes from the Asylum (2007) by journalist Meredith O’Brien was re-released on Kindle, Nook and iBook — called "refreshingly honest, hilarious, poignant, and searingly true" by MomCentral.com founder Stacy DeBroff. Also available digitally for Mother’s Day is SPECIAL GIFTS: Women Writers on the Heartache, the Happiness and the Hope of Raising a Special Needs Child (2007) edited by Arlene Schusteff. The New York Times Sunday edition ran an excerpt five years ago of one of the essays by talented writer Lisa Romeo (nyti).

  • - AWARDS & MAJOR MEDIA – -

Book Award Season has begun! Suzanne Kamata’s short story collection THE BEAUTIFUL ONE HAS COME (2011) won a 2012 Nautilus Award for books which “promote spiritual growth, conscious living & positive social change.” The Holocaust memoir by Marika Roth, ALL THE PRETTY SHOES (2011), is a ForeWord Magazine Book-of-the-Year finalist. THE CHALK CIRCLE is a winner of the 19th Annual Skipping Stones Honor Awards for “promoting an understanding of cultures, cultivate cooperation and encourage a deeper understanding of the world’s diversity.”

Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing, Inc. in Deadwood, Oregon has been providing an unparalleled author experience since 1998. Highlights of Wyatt-MacKenzie’s recent media include: a national TV appearance by author Laurie A. Couture on Anderson Cooper’s daytime talk show discussing her book INSTEAD OF MEDICATING (2008); and publisher Nancy Cleary is profiled in Oregon Business Magazine (June 2012 Issue) among Oregon’s multi-million dollar mom-centric businesses, with two books appearing on the cover — MOM  # and POWER MOMS (2011) both by media expert Maria Bailey.