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I Need Some Advice On How To Stop My Divorce

Your wife is asking for a divorce. She wants to leave and walk away. You feel like your world is coming to an end. You’re thinking, “I need some advice on how to stop my divorce and I need it fast.” You don’t even have a clue where to begin. You didn’t even know you were doing anything wrong. How can she just decide she wants to walk away like that? Doesn’t she know how much you love her? You KNOW she still loves you and you don’t think she’s trying to hurt you. So, how could she do this to you? How could she do this to your marriage? What can you do to stop your divorce?

This is the story that so many marriages are going through these days. There is no good guy or bad guy in the picture. It’s just a matter of one person giving up. It’s up to you, if you want to save your marriage, to pick up the slack and do a little double duty until you convince her to consider give your marriage a second chance. But the hard part is getting her attention and getting her to really hear what you have to say so you can stop your divorce.

How do you get her attention when your marriage is on the line and it seems like she’s already made up her mind? She might be thinking it’s over but she can’t turn off her feelings for you just like that. You have a lot of history on your side to help convince her to give your marriage another chance. Now is the time to use that history in your favor. You know what makes her smile. You know the things to say to make her eyes sparkle. You know the way to stop your divorce and how to save your marriage for the long haul. You just have to figure out a winning strategy for when and where to say these things to your wife.

• Start by letting her see the attentive and loving man she fell in love with. Now is the perfect time to let her see the best in you. You want to be your most attentive and complimentary right now. Let her see just how much you really do love her and how well you can show her that love. • Forgive your wife and yourself for not living up to your expectations of what marriage would be. When you do this, you’re allowing you both the opportunity to heal from old wounds that have been rehashed throughout the course of your marriage. It’s time to change your expectations of marriage and make them something where you can both win rather than feeling like losers and resenting that feeling all the time. • Learn to be happy where you are but make plans for an even happier future together. Both of you need to pitch in when it comes to the plan making process but when you do this you’ll both have a voice in what happens in your marriage and something to look forward to as your marriage gets stronger and better over time.

It isn’t nearly as hard to save your marriage or get your ex back as many people make it out to be. You just need to have a proper strategy in place to get your efforts off the ground.

http://www.streetarticles.com/divorce/i-need-some-advice-on-how-to-stop-my-divorce

What Are The Effects Of Divorce In The Personality Of Babies?

No studies can really tell us how your particular baby or toddler will react to your divorce; each baby is unique. Babies are born with their basic personality, namely, his or her own particular way of eating, sleeping and eliminating. These basic qualities determine how this little individual will react to stressful situations, from infancy all the way to adulthood. Basically, the baby at birth has all the qualities for the personality that will come later.

Baby temperaments may vary, but the need for consistency and love during these first vulnerable years is important to every baby. For example, in visitation, a baby under two should not be moved between parents, but should stay in one home while the absent parent visits him.

A baby needs a relationship with a “primary caretaker,” one adult who provides a consistent relationship. Psychologists have found that young babies develop human attachment by bonding with just one person. It’s all right to have many people in a baby’s life, but there must be one constant person so he or she can develop a bond. Be very careful not to use your baby as a pawn in your divorce. There was a recent article about a baby that was regularly “kidnapped” by one parent from the other. The mother said she was the better parent and the baby belonged with her. The father said the mother suffered from postpartum depression, and the baby would be better off with him and his girlfriend. But neither parent was truly consistent in bonding with the baby. And this baby was born prematurely, so he was especially in need of consistent bonding.

It is particularly important that a single parent tries to avoid the temptation to over or under-parent a baby. Babies do need stimulation and cuddling, but they also need peace and tranquility. If a parent is distant emotionally, and ignores a baby’s cry, the baby will sense this and become irritated or tense. Or a parent will often use the baby as a source of their own comfort after a divorce, effectively transmitting their own anxiety to the baby. This, too, can make the baby irritated and tense. Babies will pick up on the parent’s anxiety during the divorce process, and then this anxiety becomes the baby’s, as well.

Sometimes the parent is just too preoccupied or depressed and cannot effectively care for the infant or the divorce is causing too much chaos in the household. At these times the baby may be better off staying temporarily with a guardian or relative until the parent is ready for full-time parenting. The parent who needs to do this may feel guilty about their perceived inability to cope, but it’s far better for the baby to live in a secure environment outside of the home and then return to it later when the environment is more stable.

Babies are very resilient, and they can endure, even when faced with early stress. Many children, through the years, have grown up emotionally whole and psychologically strong, even though they may have had adverse childhood experiences. And even those babies who do suffer emotional abandonment do not have to carry the wounds through a lifetime. Child development experts agree, if the child’s circumstances improve and change, especially during the crucial ages of two and six, the negative effects of early childhood neglect can be reversed.

Abby Johnson is a staff writer at http://www.family-review.com and is an occasional contributor to several other websites, including http://www.lifestylegazette.com.

Does Your Relationship Lack Intimacy?

Of all the reasons or causes for couples to divorce and go their separate ways, a lack of intimacy is one of the most common causes of the breakdown of a marriage. Some couples are able to salvage their marriage because they do genuinely care for each other, but other couples are not so lucky. A marriage takes a lot of work and devotion, two things that become more difficult as the marriage becomes older. Both people change as they live more life and career, for example, can often get in the way without either person involved in the marriage realizes the impact the focus on career is having on the marriage.

Why is intimacy so very important in a marriage? For a marriage to work, a certain level of bonding between the spouses is necessary. A couple needs time to communicate, to spend some quality time together and to have time to keep up to date on each other’s lives and accomplishments. Keeping in touch with each other helps to strengthen the bond between them and keep their marriage going. Couples who start to focus more on their own lives and start leaving their spouse in the dark often leads to a breakdown of the bond between the couple. This is where one or both of the spouses can feel neglected and ignored by the other, which in many cases has led to extramarital affairs and/or the breakdown of the marriage. If a couple in the marriage are feeling as if they and their spouse are growing apart, but they want the marriage to succeed, this is when it might be time to seek help from a couple’s therapist, otherwise known as a marriage online counselor. It is always better to seek help sooner than later because the less chance there is for the couple to grow apart before they correct any issues they might be going through, the more chance there is that the issues can be dealt with and the marriage can be saved.

A couple who want their marriage to work can consult an online therapist and get suggestions and advice through counseling online. Online therapy can help the couple think about why they are great together and what they can do to renew the spark that seems to have disappeared over the years. The therapy can go as far as help the couple to remember why they are great together and why they want their marriage to work. There are so many marriages that end in divorce that probably could have been saved if the couple had consulted a therapist or counselor for help. If lack of intimacy is the main problem that is causing a couple to think about divorce, some therapy could be the answer. The therapist can work with the couple to figure out new ways to get to know each other all over again and how they can renew the love they still have for each other. Sometimes new suggestions and some helpful advice from an impartial party, such as a therapist, can help a couple rekindle the passion they have lost in order to strengthen their bond and interest in each other.

Dr. Jennifer Baxt, DMFT, NCC,DCC is the owner of CompleteCounselingSolutions.com which offers a variety of online counseling services. If you would like to know more about Jennifer or any of our online therapists, visit our website.

Accutane’s Ban in US

Accutane is a notorious drug that is sold with close supervision from FDA. Accutane contains isotretnoin, a retinoid used to treat skin diseases, particularly acne vulgaris. Accutane is one of the controversial drugs in US that are blamed to be causing much damage with their side effects. The drug, manufactured by Roche in US, was pulled from the markets following the lawsuit compensations that Roche had to provide to the victims.

Accutane was available in the markets as early as 1982. It was approved by FDA back then. In the initial years, the drug was a great success as sales were very high. Those were the days when dermatologists prescribed Accutane without any second thoughts.

Accutane, since it is a kind of a retinoid (related to Vitamin A), was known to be carrying teratogenic risks from the beginning. The drug was generally not prescribed to females during their pregnancy. The popularity of Accutane started dipping from the year 1999. As more and more studies were conducted, some permanent and severe side effects of Accutane came to be known. One of the most common side effects was the inflammatory bowel disease, for which hundreds of lawsuits were filed.

La Roche was happy with the sales of Accutane, while the damage done by Accutane was piling up. The wave of lawsuits made Roche to be worried as the information and warnings on the drug were insufficient and inadequate. People after suffering severe injuries filed enormous lawsuits and petitions against Roche. FDA in order to support such cases issued repeated warnings to Roche instructing them to include proper warning on the drug label. This further helped healthcare experts and people to be aware about the danger Accutane was carrying.

Even after settlements in many cases and years of research it was noted that Accutane effects were severe and even life threatening. As a result the drug was finally recalled and a complete ban was levied on its sale in 2009.

After seeing such cases, it seems imperative for people to get educated and aware about the composition and after effects of any drug to protect them from facing anything so serious later.

For more information visit http://www.unsafedrugs.com/4598/accutanes-ban

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/accutane-s-ban-in-us

Only Child Can Play Nice, Too

My daughter is close to two years old and I’m starting to get questioned about when we will have another child. People are concerned that my daughter is missing out as an only child, and they’re threatening me with things like: "She’s going to be spoiled," and "You’re going to have to work so much harder to entertain one kid." The one comment that actually kind of scared me a bit was, "It’s going to be hard for her to learn to get along with others. Don’t be surprised if she doesn’t have any friends."

Fortunately, I had purchased the book, NurtureShock by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman a few months ago, and I recently rediscovered it in my collection. The book’s subtitle is, "New Thinking About Children", and it really is. In a chapter titled, "The Sibling Effect", the authors share that a child with siblings is just as likely to have trouble getting along with other children as an only child. Whew! I guess I dodged that one, huh?

Even though statistics say my daughter will probably be fine, I still have to deal with the naysayers who are certain that my child will suffer socially. Haven’t I noticed how she starts to cry when she doesn’t get her way? Since my daughter isn’t even two years old, yet, it’s hard for me to tell if she is exhibiting "only child" traits. Aren’t all toddlers shy and/or selfish at one point or another? Don’t they all get upset when they don’t get their way? Aren’t most adults easily manipulated by their child’s super adorableness? It’s not an only child thing. It’s an every child thing.

Continued on the next page  

Brandi is a single mom and Educator who lives in Philadelphia, PA with her super energetic (and outrageously adorable!) toddler daugher. Her days are filled to the max with glitter, storybooks, baby dolls and Twitter! …

Brandi Jeter’s author pageAuthor’s Blog

What to do before considering Divorce

At some point in every marriage life presents a couple with a few speed bumps on the road to happiness, and how they are handled determines if  a couple will remain married or part company. Before considering divorce as a viable option to end marital struggles, there needs to be considerable intelligent thought applied to the root of the problem in the hope of peaceful resolution between combatants. Divorce should only be considered as a solution to a troubled marriage when all other avenues of reconciliation have been exhausted, and it should not be regarded lightly. It is a serious legal process and should be treated as such.

Prior to entertaining the notion of a possible divorce action, a couple needs to attempt to open lines of communication so that each partner can present issues that are a concern in the marriage. This is not always a simple task, as usually by the time divorce is being considered there are a good amount of hurt feelings, argumentative incidents, and divorce threats that cloud the landscape and are difficult to set aside and forget. Regardless of past problems, without communication there is almost no hope of any contested points of disagreement being resolved. For couples who attempt this route, it is important to remember that this action is negotiated – you give a little, you get a little in the way of concessions.

For married couples who cannot resolve their problems solely between themselves, an interceding party such as a professional marriage counselor, clergy member, or respected family elder can often add insight that may lead to conflict resolution. One of the difficulties in attempting to save a marriage is that one of the partners may not desire to put in the effort required to save it. In these cases there is really no action a single partner can perform that will magically prevent divorce.

Before considering a divorce an individual needs to assess honestly what the quality of their life will be post divorce. The cost of legal fees, alimony and child support will most certainly change the lifestyle of a person considering divorce, as will the division of possessions. In the worst scenario, divorce proceedings can get very ugly and not only inflict emotional pain upon the litigants, but also transfer the distress to their children. Losing parental custody or receiving limited visitation with children is perhaps the most painful aspect of divorce, and because of this alone all other options should be tested prior to considering divorce.

 

http://www.helium.com/items/1431472-what-to-do-before-considering-divorce

How To Make Your Marriage Great Again

Your marriage still has the chance to look up and be great again. Do you notice your marriage failing, or is your marriage not as wonderful as it was before, especially on the first time of ringing the bell?

Relax your mind, Have no fear, you have the ability to effect a change that can turn around the present situation you think has no solution to the status of marital bliss – starting from today!

In life we have the power to make a choice that can change our life dramatically. so you need to decide what you really want, do you want to reignite the fire in your marriage, do you want to stand against divorce, do you want to improve your marriage, do you want your marriage to be sweet as before,or do you want your marriage to get better soon,or do you want to bring back the juicy atmospheric connectivity between you and your spouse? well, whatever reasons it is to make your marriage great again is worth the while, you can make it even now as you determined to take the right decision direct from your inner mind. Oh yes you can, You have the power!

Take a bold step now, pick up your phone and call your partner to talk things over.Tell your partner how wonderful and lovely he or she has been, that you really want to reunite and to connect with each other daily.make it obvious how you want the relationship to be without blaming one another, or getting defensive when your partner suggests something to improve the marriage.

You need to also look deeper to check if you all wrapped up in your careers, or maybe you have children, taking your most time, this shouldn’t be the reason why your marriage should be failing.you need to set yourself ones in a week, or a suitable time for you and your partner to enjoy some time together. You can find a babysitter if you have children.make this a priority, one day in a week, that’s all, this should be your day! Spend the period alone, share love songs together, tell yourselves sweet and lovely stories, rent a movie or go to cinema, restaurant or a nice bar with cool music undertone and enjoy wonderful, beautiful, and some quality time together!

Take note that, we are talking about making your marriage great again, even from today. then be willing to take positive action! Remember planning and praying without action is a futile exercise.So take the bull by the horn and do it. ……you have the ability, oh yes you can, to make your marriage great again!

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How Can I Get My Ex Husband Back? There Is No Shame in Fighting For Your Man!

Divorce is so prevalent that many people simply accept divorce without fighting for the one that they love even when they believe that there may be a chance to restore the marriage. There is absolutely no shame in fighting for your man and if you are wondering “how can I get my ex husband back?” this article discusses a few helpful tips.

Going through divorce is hell especially if there are children involved. It is common to feel like a failure or to blame yourself for the divorce all of which will not help you get your ex husband back. While it is important to address what went wrong and what role you played in the divorce, blaming yourself solely for the demise of the marriage is not healthy and will not help you move on with the rest of your life either to start a new relationship or find the effective tools and resources that will help you win your ex husband back and restore the marriage.

Addressing the mistakes you may have made in the marriage such as taking your husband for granted, a lack of communication, being unfaithful, not spending any time together, etc, is very important, but after identifying the problem, it is important to move on to the solution and not dwell on the mistakes and beat yourself up about what you could have done differently. Remember that there are two people involved in the marriage and both should take equal responsibility for the disintegration of the marriage.

One of the first things to tackle in order to answer the question “how can I get my ex husband back?” is to determine your reasons for wanting him back to ensure that you just do not want him back because you are co dependent and are afraid to stand on your own and are willing to put up with being in a bad marriage and God forbid, an abusive one at that just so you can say you have a husband.

This is why evaluating what lead to the demise of the relationship is important. You need to evaluate what went wrong and whether the two of you had something special that could still be salvaged if you both are willing to put in the work required. Even the most perfect marriage can disintegrate if both parties do not work daily to ensure that the love and the relationship thrives.

A lack of communication, unresolved anger and bitterness, not spending time together, arguing over unimportant issues, infidelity, etc, can all run a marriage aground no matter how great things were in the beginning. But just because the marriage has dissolved does not mean that it cannot be rebuilt and that you cannot fight for your man.

Steps To Fight For Your Man

1. Try to have an honest discussion with him that is free of blame, accusation, yelling, etc, all of which will not help you get your ex husband back but will only push him farther away. If you are still rather emotional, do not attempt to talk to him until you can be rational and keep your emotions in check.

2. Honestly determine what part you played in the breakup of the marriage and if you are not only willing but able to change you behavior. If you think the changes need to be made by your ex husband only, you will be fighting a losing battle to win back your husband.

3. Communication is key and unless both of you are willing to work on your communication styles that probably led to the dissolution of the marriage, you should not attempt to win him back. You both need to feel that you can voice your opinion and be heard without being attacked. In order to answer the question “How can I get my ex husband back?” you will have to evaluate your communication style and whether it is helping or hurting the situation.

These are only a few tips to consider to answer the question “how can I get my ex husband back?” For step by step guidance on what you need to do especially if your ex husband is not very receptive to your overtures, visit http://howtogetanexbacknow.info/ for a crucial resource that will help you win your ex husband back.

The Effect Divorce Can Have On Your Children

Often marriages fall apart and end up in divorce. There rising rates of divorces around the globe is a burning example of how couples have lost their faith in marriage. There are so many love birds that marry without actually knowing the full responsibility that a marriage entails and end up risking their kid’s life filing a divorce. One thing is for sure, the children of a divorce lose out the most. Even if their parents marry again, it is hard to give the step mother/father same acceptance and love.

Try and mend your marriage, if there is any possibility. If not, make sure your children understand that the marriage is on the rocks. This allows the children to be prepared before you finally announce your decision. Many children end up feeling guilty or abandoned. Make sure they understand that you are ending your marriage but will always be good parents to them. Make sure they feel safe that they will not lose either parent in any way and you will still be a family in every way.

The behavior of your child can undergo a sea of change. Take time out of divorce proceedings and make them feel that they are special and will remain like that after the divorce. Try and negotiate your views, accept the fact that they are acting rebellious. Remember the fact that they are hurting as well, maybe even more than you. You might get over with the divorce but they will not. They will always face the pain and will keep an image that they lost their childhood without any fault. You need to take things very seriously and take help to a councilor if needed. Go for regular interactions and don’t let your kids get the knowledge about the internal aspects of the divorce. Tell them they will always be your priority and you will never ever ignore their presence.

It has been seen that kids often react very adversely and become very obsessed in many cases of divorce. This is where you need to pamper them and make them feel very much comfortable. Make a point to have a family dinner once in a while. Above all, avoid your divorce if there are any possibilities. Remember many people have kept their marriage alive for the sake of kids. Many couples actually maintain separate residences on the pretext of working in two different cities, just to avoid putting their kids through a divorce. However, there is no need to sacrifice your happiness just to protect your kids from a divorce. If divorce is the right option for you, handle it in such a mature way that your children still feel secured.

The help and guidance of a divorce [http://thedivorceinsider.com] lawyer is essential when divorcing your partner and for a more cost effective way to divorce your spouse check out online divorce [http://thedivorceinsider.com]

Ten Ways To Help Children Through Divorce

Going through a divorce is no fun for anyone, but children are especially vulnerable. Divorce specialist attorney Ed Sherman reveals in his book Divorce Solutions: How to Make Any Divorce Better, the following 10 things you can do to make a big difference in how well your children survive.

1. Tell children the truth in simple terms with simple explanations. Tell them where their other parent has gone.

2. Reassure them that they will continue to be taken care of and that they will be safe and secure.

3. Your children will see that parents can stop loving each other. Reassure them that a parent’s love for a child is a special kind that never stops.

4. Spend time with each child individually. Whether you have custody or visitation, the most important thing to the child is your individual relationship with him or her. Build the best relationship you can. The future is built of many tiny moments.

5. Children feel responsible for causing the divorce. Reassure them that they are not to blame. They may also feel that it is their responsibility to bring their parents back together. Let them know your decision is final and will have to be accepted.

6. Divorcing parents often feel guilty and become overindulgent. Give your child love, but also give limits.

7. Your child is still a child and can’t become the man of the house or a little mother. Continue to be the parent to your child. Seek other adults to fill your own need for companionship.

8. Avoid situations that place a child in the impossible position of choosing between parents:

* Don’t use your child as a way to get back at your spouse. Children can be terribly wounded this way.

* Don’t say bad things about the other parent in hearing of a child.

* Don’t say or do anything that might discourage the child from spending time with the other parent.

* Don’t encourage a child to take sides.

9. You and your former spouse will continue to be the parents of your children for life. Pledge to cooperate responsibly toward the growth and development of your children as an expression of your mutual love for them.

10. Be patient and understanding with your children. Be patient and understanding with yourself.

Even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing, cooperating with your spouse during your divorce is one of the best things you can do for your children. They learn that conflicts can be resolved eventually, which is a valuable lesson.

Ed Sherman is a divorce specialist attorney and award-winning author of How to Do Your Own Divorce in California. His books and software have saved millions of people billions of dollars in unnecessary attorney fees. Visit http://www.nolotech.com/