Many teenagers feel they don’t have any contact with their parents, especially if their parents are divorced. When their parents get divorced they usually find another companion, and things start being rough for the kids, who feel they lost their family, the protection they had, the stability of their lives and the importance they had for their parents.
A very tragic situation begins when the divorced parents get married with divorced people that have kids from their first wedding and a real mess of brothers and sisters that don’t feel anything for each other start being part of the teens’ life, besides the mother-in-law and the father-in-law they acquire.
Since divorces as soon as their kids grow up are very common in our days, teenagers with divorced parents are very common everywhere and these numbers tend to increase because in modern times it’s very easy for anyone to get back the freedom they had before marriage (while in the past a divorce was a big adventure against society, which could not accept it) and most people don’t choose the right person when they get married. When they realize they made a big mistake by getting married to this wrong person, they have to wait the kids grow up a little bit at least, so that the children will be able to cope with their divorce.
And as soon as they feel their kids don’t need as much protection and care as they used to before, they don’t think twice-their freedom is the most important thing in the world! They need to have it back, no matter what!
With the divorce, teens have to accept seeing their mother dating another man and their father dating a girlfriend. A horrible competition between the kids and lovers begins. If the teens show their disgust , their parents don’t stop dating their companion; rather, they fight with their children, thinking that they are not trying to understand how they feel. So, instead of being supportive towards their kids, the parents ask for their kid’s support instead, in a matter that they cannot really help them with, because they are the ones that need help in this situation.
A lot of anger, nervousness, and misunderstandings ruin the teens’ life at the time when they are trying to experiment with their own freedom, like birds who finally grew up enough to fly by themselves.
Yet, they have no intention to do anything about the way they feel…
If you are one of them, I can help you with my knowledge. My experience with teenagers is extensive, and I can tell you how you can get rid of your uneasiness.
By interpreting many people’s dreams, I have very clearly seen their world, daily problems, psychic problems, mistakes and fears. So, the first thing I have to tell you is that nobody studies several subjects in order to specifically learn how to be a parent, and most people don’t even qualify for that rule, even though they have many kids and they may seem to be quite “good” parents.
My own parents were always fighting from the first days of my life, and they even made me participate in their discussions, asking me whom I would rather prefer to live with…I always felt that they were immature and I had to be very tolerant with them! I helped them get divorced when I was 14 years old because their lives together were a real disaster. They should never have married in their lives! And my existence was a very big irony that made them insist on living together, while one of them should have lived in the North and the other, in the South. There was no connection! Their personalities were totally different.
So, you’d better accept that many times a marriage can really be a very big mistake. It is a mistake that people make when they are young and foolish, but one they have to continue bearing if they have kids and a sense of responsibility toward them. Many parents simply get divorced as soon as they understand they have made a mistake, even if their kids are only babies at the time. Sometimes, they don’t have another choice…and we cannot blame anyone. Usually however, we see that many parents stay married only because they love their kids who need a family. They make a sacrifice for them, but it cannot continue forever.
We cannot say they are wrong because they decide to wait until their kids grow up, but we cannot say that their position is right either, because this way their kids are like terrible executioners who oblige them to live in their family’s prison. The solution would be a big comprehension of the situation from both sides and a decision to solve the existent problems. If parents and teens were united, they would find good solutions for their problems and nobody would feel so hurt, but what usually happens is that the divorced parents are enemies who only condemn one another…
My advice to you is to simply forget about your parents and try to live your own life without making their mistakes. Don’t provoke fights or try to compete with their girlfriends or boyfriends, don’t condemn them and don’t show them your revolt. In fact, don’t feel any revolt because nobody is responsible for marring the wrong person in their lives when they are too young and too ignorant. I wanted to avoid making this mistake very much, but I got married to the wrong person as well, even though I had my parent’s example to learn from. It’s very difficult to choose the person with whom you plan to live forever when you are only in the beginning of your life!
Accept your parents like you accept your own friends when they make mistakes. They are simply human beings, nothing more than mere human beings…
Try to understand how they feel and don’t demand anything. Focus only on your own behaviour and on what you want to achieve in your life. Take care of your future and learn a lot, without any complaint.
Christina Sponias continued Carl Jung’s research into the human psyche, discovering the cure for all mental illnesses. Learn more at http://www.scientificdreaminterpretation.com View profileSocial tagging: divorced parents > human beings > kids grow > people don > teens life