Divorce is an ugly word. It can stir emotions in us that we were not even aware we had. When you add children in the same sentence it can be even more devastating. It is our job as parents to protect our children from the negative side effects that divorce can cause. Children are easily influenced by their parents. We are suppose to be their biggest role models in life. We can sometimes fall short of this, especially during a divorce. Regardless of the situation we have the responsibility to keep them safe and try our hardest not to let our problems effect their lives to much. Because children can become extremely stressed during divorce there are certain things that cannot be said to or around our children.
First, you should never speak badly of your ex. Regardless of how you feel your children do not need to hear it. They are not there to listen to your issues and take on such huge problems. They also need to be reassured that they are not to blame. Whether they express it or not most children automatically feel responsible for their parent’s divorce. This needs to be reaffirmed to them often. You also need to tell them how much they are loved by both of you. They need to know that they will never be left.
You do not have to keep everything hidden from your child. You need to think carefully about what you say and how you say it. It is a delicate situation and should be treated so. It is hard for children to understand why parents choose separation. Their lives are changing just as much as yours, but they didn’t have any choices in the matter. Try spending extra one on one time with your child without talking about the divorce. Concentrate on the positives.
If your child is having an extremely difficult time adjusting try a counselor or child psychologist. They are trained to help children deal with these types of stressful situations and help them understand. Sometimes it takes an outsider to help your child adjust.
By concentrating on your children you will find it helps you to deal with the situation yourself. Be patient and persistent and you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. You and your child can go on and live a healthy, happy life by staying positive.child support > gt author