If you are currently dealing with divorce, you can be expected to feel a wide range of different emotions. Depending on what the circumstances of the breakup were you may feel anger, hurt, grief, rage or even, on occasion, happiness or elation. The final two emotions may come as a result to having a divorce finalized and feeling as if you can move past this part in your life.
However, if you are still in love with your spouse, you may want to learn how the tricks of dealing with divorce that can help keep your ex from becoming your ex. Depending on the cause or causes for the divorce and who started the process, you may find this easier or more difficult than you thought. However, there are ways that can get you through this time productively and which may even lead to you keeping the divorce from becoming finalized.
All relationships have reasons why they end, and there is no relationship that has ended solely because of the actions of one partner but not the other. Because you have issues on both sides to work through, you should consider counseling or mediation. Many times the courts will order you to attend sessions with a marital counselor and this is something you should take advantage of.
Counseling is an excellent way for you and your partner to discuss issues that affected your relationship negatively. You should make sure that both of you are comfortable with the person you are speaking with. If both sides do not feel a connection with the counselor, or one spouse thinks that the counselor is unfairly targeting them, they will shut down and an important chance at communication will be lost.
If you are trying to have any chance at maintaining a relationship and preventing the divorce, you need to make sure that you are able to interact with your spouse without arguing. Arguing can rapidly turn bitter and drive an even larger wedge between the two of you. You should try very hard to discuss things in a very calm manner. Mediation can help with that.
Mediation and non-adversarial approaches to divorce are aimed at handling things in a way that may even lead to having the marriage remain solvent. The goal of a mediator is that you will work with them to settle the issues surrounding the divorce including the separation of property, any funds such as child support or alimony, and even child custody agreements. If you can work together to make these decisions, you may often find that it is possible to reclaim some of the love and feeling you once shared and have a much better way of dealing with divorce.
If you find that after counseling and soul searching you are still unable to make the relationship work, you may need to allow the divorce to continue. Dealing with divorce can also mean realizing when a relationship cannot be saved and must be allowed to dissolve so that you and your partner can get on with living a full and productive life.
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