The first thing that we need to take into consideration when we not considering this object is not very little scientific data exists on it. No statistics on courses and risks of divorce are really collected. Whether this has anything to do with not wanting to tempt fate etc. it just isn’t collected.
Most people would counter this allegation by saying that grounds for breakup have to be filed with the divorce documents and call when a divorce is instigated by one of the things that has been found is that quite often actual course of the divorce are not the same as the so-called grounds for divorce.
The other thing about divorce is that sadly most people make it up as they go along unless you happen to be a serial divorcee in which case your attitude in subsequent divorces will be influenced by your earlier experiences.
I you are you looking for a way to ensure that your marriage will not end up in divorce? Unfortunately there is no such guarantee. However, there is of course statistics that are taken from exhaustive research from thousands of divorced couples. For example, below are potential “risk” factors that may contribute to a marriage heading for divorce:
* Having a personality tendency to react strongly or defensively to problems and disappointments in life
* Having divorced parents.
* Living together prior to marriage.
* Being previously divorced, yourself or your partner.
* Having children from a previous marriage.
* Having different religious backgrounds.
* Marrying at a very young age (for example, at the age of eighteen or nineteen; the average these days is about twenty-five or twenty-six years of age for first marriages).
* Knowing each other for only a short time before marriage.
* Experiencing financial hardship.
There is something very important about this list that we’d like you to notice: once a couple is married, they can do nothing to directly lower any of these risks. These are called static risks because they are relatively unchangeable. Reflecting on these factors can be useful in understanding how much risk the two of you may have, but there is little you can do to change any of these – and certainly not quickly.
In contrast to the static factors shown in the preceding list, there are risk factors that relate more directly to how you treat one another, how you communicate, and how you think about your relationship. We call these dynamic risk factors because, although they do increase the risk that a couple won’t do well, they can all be changed with some thought and choice and effort.
* Negative styles of talking and fighting with each other, such as arguments that rapidly become negative, put-downs, and the silent treatment.
* Difficulty communicating well, especially when you disagree.
* Trouble handling disagreements as a team.
* Unrealistic beliefs about marriage.
* Different attitudes about important things.
* A low level of commitment to one another, reflected in such behavior as failing to protect your relationship from others you are attracted to or failing to view your marriage as a long-term investment.
* Not practicing faith together.
In general, higher levels of risk (due to either static or dynamic factors) are particularly tied to greater difficulties in handling problems and negative emotions well. For example, studies suggest that people whose parents divorced are more likely to come into marriage as adults with communication problems and also a diminished belief or trust that their relationship can work in the long term. In essence, even the static factors tend to express themselves through the dynamic factors. All other things being equal, the more static or dynamic risk factors you have, the more likely you are to experience difficulties.dynamic factors > dynamic risk > long term > risk factors > static factors