If you are married or about to be married – Listen up! This information can save you years of agony; years that can be years filled with joy and happiness, IF you remedy the common causes of divorce.
It does not matter if you are engaged, just married or been married for years. In all likelihood your marriage is in trouble or it could be improved upon, or you wouldn’t be reading this.
Divorce is like quicksand. It is slippery and once in it, it increases its grip making it very difficult to escape. Like quicksand, divorce is a trap, unseen until you are caught in it.
Marriages come with an automatic built-in feature known as common causes of divorce. You may not even know they exist. Most likely, no one has ever given you a book on the subjects of marriage and/or relationships. But you do have TV, family and friends, and ALL of them have given you the wrong instructions and examples of what a good marriage is and why.
The television has filled your head full of beautiful pictures of beautiful women, handsome men, all starry-eyed with romantic delusions.
Aren’t marriages suppose to be fairy tale, “…live happily ever after”?
The reality is, after the romantic glitz and glitter of the Honeymoon, life gets real.
Now it is time for jobs to pay the bills and vacuuming the floors and fixing the meals and doing the laundry. And sooner or later – kids! Kids with snotty noses, dirty bottoms and constant crying for attention. What happened to the honeymoon?
This is where life gets real. This where you get sloppy and stop putting your best foot forward, taking each other for granted. This is where all the expectations you have for each other get declared. This is where all the virtues you sold or were sold are being delivered less than 50% of the time.
Do you feel cheated yet?
How can you tell?
Take this little test for some common causes of divorce:
If you are a man, can you list the expectations your wife has for you?
Which are usually as follows:
(1) Patience and understanding for every circumstance
(2) Ability to listen with interest to everything she has to say as if it matters to you
(3) Compliment and encourage her about everything she has done, or ever will do or is doing
(4) Give her complete and total emotional support for whatever it is she values in life
If you are a woman, can you list the expectations your husband has for you?
Which are usually:
(1) Staying just as sexy and beautiful, exciting and interesting as when you were dating
(2) Give him free time from all domestic responsibilities so he can do what he loves to do
(3) Compliment and encourage him for everything he does, has done or ever will do
(4) Give him complete and total support for whatever he values in life
Are these expectations being fulfilled by either party? Are you smarting because your expectations are not being fulfilled? Are you guilty of not fulfilling their expectations?
Here is the deal. There are no perfect marriages. There are no perfect people. The only thing you can count on in a marriage, or in life for that matter, is change. So get use to it.
In the best of marriages, problems do not leave, people do.
You were headed for divorce even before you got married. Why? Because you do not know the keys to save your marriage. No one ever taught you, because they did not know either.
Pay attention to this key: one the very best thing you can do for your marriage and/or to stop a divorce is to give up your expectations for your partner.
Happiness does not come from getting what you want, but from wanting what you have.
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