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Divorce Issues Today

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When to tell your child is reassuring re·as·sure  

tr.v. re·as·sured, re·as·sur·ing, re·as·sures

1. To restore confidence to.

2. To assure again.

3. To reinsure.  the child that it is not his fault.

Avoid blaming and criticizing your spouse. Children need to love both parents and not be forced to take sides. Ideally, both husband and wife should be present when you tell your children. Not only do your children need In other words Adv. 1. in other words – otherwise stated; “in other words, we are broke”

put differently , will they be able to keep the same routine? The fewer changes your child has to make, the happier the child will be. If there are inevitable changes, it is best that they not occur immediately, but rather, gradually and slowly.

Parents, not children, should make divorce-related decisions. Questions as to child psychologist child psychologist Psychology A mental health professional with a PhD in psychology who administer tests, evaluates and treats children’s emotional disorders, but can’t prescribe medications . HOW TO HANDLE SCHOOL-AGE CHILD DURING DIVORCE.-a083413132

Option for Divorce Attorneys

The divorce situation can be uncomplicated in case the two one plus the partner need to get divorced plus they you served’ t have almost any disagreements with their finances or young children. If they might have young children along, parents may well have already got a Family Court order (s) which decides that has custody or inspection ace well ace who compensates child help. Once they furthermore you served’ t have cash, property, or debt to help break down, they can be capable of getting separated in under the year’s it some without having hiring law firms. People call of thesis child of situation at "uncontested" breakup.

Living with the divorce ace well ace separation may be challenging or else painful. It wants to want be need possible to never bother about the particular children if it be possible to get within their particular existence, or what sort of residence and the assets of the nation are going to be broken down. The worry in addition to worry might have a direct effect on your little ones, your job, and Eves your own self respect. Family members law troubles are in relation to a plumb wants to want more than income, more than where you dwell, thesis are primarily about who have you used to be, you, ace well ace who you grow to be. Our house legislation attorneys realize that a number of clients can need lake past the concluding towards the completely New beginning. It can be our own job to assist you to achieve with dignity creating seal on one important point in your lifetime, and placing the feet inside starting position of at fire New and optimistic vacation.

In marital home separate at easy divorce the actual parties usually agree in advance the way to, devote debts along with insurance policy for custodianship of minor young children, and place baby ace well ace spousal assist. When the majority of people imagine separation and divorce, the very first thing that involves brain is exorbitantly attorney fairy. In fact, a number of divorce lawyers do, out on the camouflaged would race, the price of a matrimonial event with unwanted lawsuit, imposing a costly economic burden about clientele.

If your one doesn’ t tournament your divorce, this usually takes a minimum of 6 months to acquire a final judgment involving divorce. The actual period of Time vary about several things, including what number of cases of divorce ready about in this Courtroom, ace well ace whether you actually completed often the papers that you simply filed to suit your needs properly. Should you create any mistakes in your paperwork, you have to correct them and this may delay getting the wants read judgment signed.

Nonetheless the divorce scenario can Eves be very complex. This of bite if the spouse and the prayedr helped disagree of concerning financial problem and/or how are you affected using their young children following the divorce process is remaining. Thesis divorces create a for a long Time period. People call search a case any "contested" divorce process.

If there is ever a Time you require exerted skilled portrayal, it may be when troubles show up in the part of child custody, baby help, residence division and therefore dole. Proposal and buyer commitment ace aggressive You should have any law firm having the background connected with well ace who knows the program within and out.

When both simple The divorce circumstance is usually fairly one and therefore the spouse like to get single and they therefore have no any child of disagreements of thesis budget or young children.


Facing Fears After Divorce

It is common for women to experience fear after divorce. Note, however, that fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real. The evidence in your mind is truly and utterly false because it does not exist at this moment. Just like last night’s dream was not real, your visions of future doom are not real either.

As a divorced woman, your life has shifted in a major way along with your plans for it. You now must recreate your life, reset your goals and major decisions are yours alone to make. As terrifying as this all can seem, fear should be used to serve as an awesome motivator and an invaluable strength-building mechanism. Facing fears head on must be seen as a challenge that you are anxious to embrace.

Even While You Fear – Take Action!

Consider your fears as a unique set of tests especially designed for your growth and strengthening, and then take action! Don’t worry too much about eliminating your fears, which can take a lifetime to do, simply take action even as still afraid. Like jumping from a cliff into an inviting body of water, it is likely that you will always be afraid to do so as long as you are thinking about it. In fact, the longer you entertain your fears, the more likely you are to talk yourself out of the plunge and walk away from the cliff’s edge instead. But at some point, in order to enjoy the water’s refreshing coolness, you have to take your fears with you and jump anyway. Afterward, you will find your strength and your confidence enhanced by the knowledge that you are stronger than your fears and you are capable of action even while afraid.

What is it that you are afraid of now? Perhaps it is a return to school for an advanced degree. Perhaps you are afraid of taking a new position, changing careers, moving to a new location or just of being the sole caretaker of your children. Whatever your fears are, use them as a challenge. Make overcoming them your mission as you forge ahead.

The following action steps are designed to help you face your fears after a divorce:

1. Plan to succeed. Do not allow yourself to be burdened with what ifs. Instead, target your goals and clearly define the steps that you will need to take to achieve them.

2. Do what you can today to place yourself in a better position tomorrow. Each day, take action toward your goals in order to inch yourself closer to them. Even baby steps are fine as long as you are taking them in the right direction.

3. Take time to encourage yourself daily. Talk to yourself as you would a dear friend or your children. Remind yourself that you are strong, that you are capable and remind yourself of all that you have already overcome.

Millions of women have been where you are now. They have faced insurmountable odds, they have been terrified out of their wits and they have refused to let either stop them. You can and you must do the same. You are powerful, competent, able-bodied and free to pursue every one of your dreams. You may make mistakes along the way, but they will be counted as worthwhile lessons, which will sharpen your skills. Know this and, even as you are afraid, proceed anyway.

Vanaja Ghose ( is a Professional Life Coach helping women who chose to leave their marriage or long term relationship and now want to powerfully recreate their lives. Download your FREE mp3 audio on “Nine Steps to Building a New Life After Divorce” and contact Vanaja for a free 30-minute strategy session at

Can’t Live Together, Can’t Afford Being Apart

Divorce is set to go beyond the financial means of some people in the UK due the recent decision of the government to drastically cut legal aid funding. Gordon Dean solicitors in Norwich are members of the Norwich and Norfolk Law Society, a professional and lobbying body that has lined up against the cuts and warns that “divorce will become simply too expensive for the disadvantaged” to undergo and that access to the justice system generally is threatened by the latest cuts.

We often reach out for the aid of a solicitor at the most challenging moments of our lives, such as when settling an estate, procuring advice or defense in a criminal context or settling commercial and other disputes. It seems solicitors and legal advice are things that accompany the toughest moments of our lives and this is no doubt part of the reason for the negative stereotyping associated with solicitors that we are all familiar with.

It sometimes surprises people that while it is generally unnecessary to engage a lawyer when getting married, it is legally required to do so when a marriage comes to an end. Divorce, like marriage, isn’t cheap, and just as marriage rates fall and weddings become less extravagant during harder economic times, divorce rates also fall in some measure for exactly the same reason. Notwithstanding the economic cycle and expense, divorce remains an extremely widespread phenomenon in modern society, with by some measures as many as 50% of marriages ending in divorce by the time of the child’s 16th birthday.

Emotions are often at their rawest during a divorce and the stress is often compounded by the complex legal and financial questions involved. Even in relatively amicable divorces, the legal process of mediation, arbitration and conflict resolution require a solicitor to prepare the documents, ensure the legality of asset division, make recommendations, and formalize a custody agreement if there are children involved. A solicitor is necessary to draft a Deed of Separation, the official document that voids a marriage, sets out the divorce agreement and makes it legally binding. There is no way to unscramble an egg, but the complex intertwining of finances, family and the termination of the comprehensive legal partnership that marriage represents require comprehensive legal advice to attempt to do just that. Legal advice is also a professional service that both parties must contract individually, making divorce proceedings more expensive still.

If quality of representation is taken out of the legal aid system by cuts then it is the poorest in the community who will bear the brunt, as those of middle or higher incomes can still pay for access to adequate legal services. While these services are predominantly used in criminal contexts, legal aid is also a source of advice and mediation for people involved in civil disputes such as divorce. People seeking divorce who cannot afford solicitor services could potentially find themselves in a situation where being unable to pay for divorce proceedings means falling into the legal black hole of informal separation. This reduction in personal legal autonomy can entail loss of access to finances, homes, children and erect barriers to leaving abusive relationships. The cuts to legal aid represent a real threat to equity of access to the law and, ultimately, access denied is justice denied.

Freelance journalist and writer.  View profile

The Fastest Way To Get A Divorce

Getting a divorce is rarely a pleasurable experience as you have to unload all of that emotional baggage and divide everything you own before eventually going your separate ways, but what is the fastest way to get a divorce? The fastest way to get a divorce is actually whichever way is best for your specific situation at a certain time, there is no magic wand which can grant you a fast and quick divorce.

Probably the most common way to get a divorce fast, and certainly the easiest, is the uncontested divorce. The uncontested divorce is basically when both parties decide that they want a divorce and they have no issues with deciding exactly who gets what; this is the reason why it’s usually the fastest way to get a divorce. The way it works is that a settlement is prepared by both parties pertaining to such issues as; division of assets, child custody, parenting time, as well as payments of maintenance and child support. This is then signed and then the agreement is in effect. This is the fastest way to get a divorce as it prevents a lot of the fighting that can occur when both fight over assets and child custody arrangements. The only downside to this way of getting a divorce is that there is a six month waiting period in the United States, so while it’s still the fastest way get a divorce, it’s not immediate.

If you need a quicker resolution the fastest way to get a divorce is to petition a judge for an emergency divorce. Typically, the emergency divorce is not granted simply because both parties think it is expedient to have the whole process over and done with. In reality, the process of obtaining an emergency divorce is very difficult and usually results in failure as few of these divorces are actually ever granted. The only way a judge will grant this divorce is if the health and well-being of one or both of the parties will be in danger if an emergency divorce is not granted; a party must present sufficient evidence in order to obtain this.

While not the fastest way to get a divorce, retaining an attorney can significantly reduce the time taken to get a divorce. The problem is if you don’t retain an attorney and end up representing yourself, you can often end up making costly mistakes in various pieces of necessary documentation. And because of the stringent measurements in place with complex divorce proceedings it can delay your case significantly if any mistakes are found. By retaining an attorney you will reduce the chance of this happening.

Generally, for most people, it’s important to take into account that even the fastest way to get a divorce will still probably leave you with a six month waiting period. And the fastest way to get a divorce relies on both parties being in agreement.

Getting Over A Break Up Or Divorce: How To Heal And Move On

As a psychotherapist specializing in couples therapy, I’m frequently called on to help clients deal with break-ups or divorce.

Common reactions to divorce or break ups are not just emotional, they are often physical and behavioral. For example, many folks report feeling anxious, like they have been socked in the gut or chest while the butterflies in their stomach affect their eating and sleeping habits. Sound familiar? Relax, this is a normal reaction.

Other times, clients report feeling mostly “numb” until the larger implications of the break up or divorce finally hits them. Everyone’s individual reaction is different however, but one thing remains true: Heartbreak is very real, very painful, and most relationship advice aimed at helping people get over a break up or divorce is similar to grief therapy.

However, there is hope! While coping with a break up or divorce can feel hopeless or overwhelming, remember that time is a great healer. Always keep this in mind: Your problems and feeling are temporary, and you are bigger than both of them. So hang in there, because the longer you hang on means you are one day closer to feeling better.

That said, here are some steps you can take to begin the healing process.


A common response to negative events is numbness, but underneath that numbness are often feelings of hurt, anger, inadequacy, fear of the unknown, and loneliness. Honoring those feelings is an essential part of the healing process.

Try exploring your feelings by keeping a journal of your thoughts and emotions. I also encourage my clients to write letters. For example, compose a note to your ex exploring what you are, or aren’t, going to miss about your partner. What are you angry about? What are you sad about? What do you fear this break up means? What was your part in the break up? What are some things about your ex that you’ll forever appreciate or remember? It’s cathartic to get things off your chest. Whether you mail it or not doesn’t matter, recognizing your emotions is most important. And in the future, when you’re in a healthier place, you can look back on it and have a chuckle.


It’s not unusual to have thoughts such as “I will never date again.” However, when having these negative thoughts, it’s useful to ask yourself rational questions in response such as: What is the effect of believing this thought? What are the disadvantages of this thought? Is there is an alternative explanation to this thought? What would I tell a friend who is in a similar situation?

Using the example of “I will never date again,” the effects of believing this thought are easy: You’ll forever be alone, you’ll remain unhappy, and create a self-perpetuating cycle of negativity. In short, you’ll assure your own misery. An alternative explanation may be “I feel bad right now, which is understandable, but I won’t feel like this forever and who knows what the future holds?”


Another technique I recommend is having clients take a few minutes to write a list of all the positive qualities they offer. This helps them see that they have lots to offer future partners. What about you makes you feel proud? What would your family and friends say they like or love about you? (You may even ask your friends and family to assist you.) What are your achievements? Who in your life do you know loves you?




Be honest! Which of your needs was getting fulfilled by your relationship? Fear of being alone? Financial security? Did you simply stay for the sake of the children? What was the real reason you broke up? Often, it’s because as a coupe you were either not compatible (didn’t have the same needs, goals, world views, etc) or communication was poor. Therefore, to help ensure the chances of finding healthy relationships in the future, it is vital to learn from your past.


At some point, most folks become fed up with feeling bad, and begin moving on. In fact, studies show that these emotional rebounds can be very liberating and empowering.

My most important relationship advice is this: The past does not have to determine the future, and if you’ve loved deeply once then you are capable of experiencing it again. In fact, if you take the time to heal you will come out of the relationship MORE experienced and even MORE able to engage in loving relationships!

Emily Kensington is a couples therapist. For free relationship advice and romance tips visit

Dating Divorced Men: 7 Warning Signs You Should Avoid

Going into a relationship with your eyes wide open is important especially when dating a divorced man. Even without conflict dating a divorced man can have it’s challenges because men typically don’t get it when it comes to women.

To give you a better understanding of what might be going on with your divorced man let’s look at the seven warning signs you should know and avoid. The seven areas of potential conflict I like to call ‘red flags’. Each red flag is potentially a warning sign, an indication for you as a woman that something might not be right.

Okay, let’s get started…

Red flag #1 – Possessive

Beware of the possessive man. He constantly needs to be with you. He is unable to act independently of you and is best avoided.

A possessive man will be very needy.

Red Flag #2 – Controlling

Similar to possessive and even more intense controlling men a better off avoided.

A controlling man will refuse to allow the woman to interact with others independently of him. He will want to limit her contact with the outside world.

Typically she will find that she is unable to be herself. This is not a good situation.

Red Flag #3 – Different Values

A couple examples of how different values can cause conflict are family and holiday traditions and money.

During the holidays he may be accustomed to spending them at his mother’s house and never take the time to consider the woman’s tradition.

Money is the number one source of conflict in relationships. When the man and the woman have different tendencies, such as, one being frugal and the other being a spend thrift conflict is inevitable.

Over time different values, if not addressed, can cause great conflict.

Red Flag #4 – Sexual Tendencies

From sexual styles to sexual appetites having different values in the bedroom can put great stress on a relationship.

Whether it’s rough and tumble versus a more conventional style or wanting to experiment versus a more conservative style sex is something to be considered.

Red Flag #5 – Friends

Getting along with each other’s friends is important. Relationships established outside of the couple’s relationship are healthy for both partners.

Life long friends matter and are key to maintaining a healthy relationship.

Red Flag #6 – Family

You can’t avoid families. Family involvement is a fact of life. The relationships and attachments to each other’s families will be a factor in any relationship.

Red Flag #7 – Ex and Children

The ex can be a great source of conflict from using the children to using the courts as leverage she will be a factor in any relationship involving a divorced man.

When there are children an imbalance can occur when dating a divorced man due to his obligations and commitments with and for the children.

The sooner you address the red flags the better off you and your relationship with a divorced man will be.

Keep in mind a red flag is an opportunity for the woman to step back and to ask herself ‘Is this what I really want to be doing?’.

These red flags are offered for women like you, women who are dating a divorced man. Hopefully you can avoid the heartache and wasted effort of dealing with a man who is not committed to “getting it right”.

To your happiness,

Frank Spitzig

Understanding whether or not YOU are in a relationship with a man who is committed, willing and able to make himself available to YOU is critical to your happiness. Give your heart a break, there’s an easier way Once you are dating a divorced man the rules change. It can be frustrating, it can hurt and it can be lonely. After all, he has a history, a set of friendships, an ex, children (or not), financial obligations and he maybe even a pet or two. Knowing where you fit in isn’t easy As a Certified Relationship Coach who did it the hard way, Frank Spitzig can show you how to decide whether or not your relationship stands a chance. You don’t have to do it the hard way like Frank. It took him 35 years, one divorce and 3 failed relationships to finally get it right Got a question, want to know whether or not you dating a divorced man is really worth it goto You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued, respected and loved

Florida Family Law Attorney Says Divorced Parents Can Avoid Back-to-School Stress By Focusing on Child’s Success

Boynton Beach, FL (PRWEB) August 17, 2010

As children return to school in the coming weeks, it could end up testing relations between divorced parents, says south Florida family law attorney Brian M. Moskowitz.

Without communication and sharing of information about their child’s education, divorced parents can easily find themselves engaged in disputes over everything from which school the child attends to how much time the child devotes to homework each night, Moskowitz says.

“The key to avoiding those disputes is to focus on your child’s best interest,” says Moskowitz, whose law firm, the Law Offices of Brian M. Moskowitz, focuses solely on divorce and family law issues, including child custody (which is now known as timesharing).

“Divorced parents should take a step back and ask themselves, ‘How can we work together to ensure our child’s success in school?’” he says. “They might actually find that they agree on a lot of important matters. That can ease the strain in their relationship and, more importantly, help the child to thrive in school.”

Based on his experience in working with divorced parents, Moskowitz suggests that they address major issues concerning their child’s education in their parenting plan.

For example, the parenting plan can state whether the child will attend public or private school, and how the parents will share in the cost of their child’s tuition, tutoring or other educational needs. The plan can also set out a procedure that must be followed if either parent wants the child to transfer schools or undergo home-schooling.

“But there are limits to what you can address in the parenting plan, such as many of the day-to-day issues that parents of school-age children face,” Moskowitz says. “Those issues require parents to communicate with each other and really work together. They also need to make sure that information is flowing between both of them and the school.”

Moskowitz says that both parents should list their names and addresses on any important school forms and make sure that they both receive their child’s class schedules, report cards and test scores. He also suggests that both parents attend any parent-teacher conferences.

If the child has a project to work on during a scheduled timesharing (formerly known as visitation), the parent with the majority of timesharing should let the other parent know. Both parents should also keep school supplies at their home so as not to disrupt the child’s work.

In some cases, divorced parents can agree to adapt their timesharing arrangement in order to accommodate their child’s study or work on a school assignment.

“If you’re focusing on what the child needs, you may have to be flexible sometimes,” Moskowitz says. “However, any agreements to change parenting time should be in writing.”

In some cases, a parent refuses to consult the other parent in educational decisions or shuts out the other parent from information about a child’s academic progress. When that happens, Moskowitz believes the parent should consult with an attorney who understands these issues.

“Typically, divorced parents can agree on what it will take to promote their child’s future, and they will work together. When that happens, it can be a positive experience for everyone,” Moskowitz says. “But if that is not happening, then it clearly is not serving the child’s best interest, and a parent is entitled to take appropriate action.”

About The Law Offices of Brian M. Moskowitz

With offices located in Boynton Beach (primary), Boca Raton and West Palm Beach, The Law Offices of Brian M. Moskowitz handle a variety of family law cases for clients throughout southern Florida, including Delray Beach, Lake Worth, Wellington, Palm Beach and Palm Beach County. The firm charges flat rates for many family law services and handles cases that include divorce, child custody, child support, mediation, modification, relocation, paternity and adoption. For more information, call the firm at (561) 369-4481 or use its online form.


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