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Can couples stay friends after being divorced?

Divorces are notoriously viewed to be hateful, anger-filled and full of resentment. Many bad feelings and emotions are often attributed to the idea of divorce.

While it is true that many divorces do indeed meet these visualizations, bringing a marriage to an end doesn’t always have to result in bitter feelings. It is very possible for couples to stay friends after being divorced.

For some ex-spouses friendship comes easier than others, a lot of whether or not two former spouses can maintain a amicable relationship depends on the nature of how the relationship started and ho w the marriage came to an end. For instance those marriages which were built on a strong friendship but didn’t work out for whatever reason may have a higher probability of maintaining civil relations after the divorce than those who don’t share a long history. Perhaps the individuals may even enjoy a stronger friendship once the pressures of everyday life are removed from the equation.

On the other hand marriages that ended for reasons that were very hurtful, too wounding to consider maintaining contact, may have more difficulties ending amicable, never mind continuing the relationship as friends. Sometimes it is possible to get past the deep hurts cased by issues such as betrayal, dishonesty or irresponsibility, and over the course of time the former couple is able to put the bad feelings behind and move forward with good vibes towards one another, but not always.

A very important factor that many divorced couples need to consider when deciding whether or not to maintain a friendship post-divorce are when children are involved. When a couple has kids, this creates a permanent and shared bond.

Not only is there a bond, but since custody and visitation will need to be addressed, this likely entails some level of interaction, and contact will need to happen. It is much easier to work together as parents who are friends than ones who are foes constantly at one another’s throats. Kids will also benefit from a parental friendship as they’ll be able to better transition and get used to the idea of mom and dad not living together anymore; it is healthy to see parents interacting nicely together.

Other potential factors that affect post-divorce friendships are new relationships. If one or both spouses remarry, the new partner may not feel entirely comfortable hanging out with an ex, especially if they are excluded or don’t feel welcomed into the friendship. Sometimes jealously will be involved, but often it may just be a matter of feeling awkward. This is another important consideration when deciding to remain friends; the dynamics can change at any given time depending on how life evolves.

Whether or not couples can stay friends after being divorced will depend on individual circumstances and whether or not the two people are want and/or are willing to maintain a friendship. For some it’s simpler and less painful to just part ways and not have anything else to do with one another, while others may have difficulty letting go completely and prefer to redraw boundaries and build a new relationship based on a platonic one.

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